h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

No,but we have now ...smiles the biggest smile

Yep, WS, this is our first time, this time around. I thought I saw Duncan flash by as well, almost like old (very old) times. I'm not here so very much, it's just that Pinky has got me posting all over the place all of a sudden. It'll have to stop.

I'm trying to get down and dirty on the Snug floor with her - so far without success! I have a sneaking suspicion that she doesn't know of my past misdemeanors, so please don't let on.

The snug floor must be VERY down and dirty by now

Sticky Wandrin ,positively sticky ! We not why ,and who are we to question ? However ,Phero is finding a solution to our little problem ..he's started a revolution ....keeps the cobwebs away ,I have to say ! ( He's never once mentioned getting down and dirty with me ,removed my pashmina ,thats as far as he's got ) ...smiles !



Hi Phero,I didn't notice you there ...you've changed silk handkerchiefs haven't you ?

Indeed Pinky, the better to wipe your brow of champagne bubbles.

Here

Come on, lets leave the slugs to their sea. Unless, of course I can tempt you with a particularly succulent one. I'll call it a cucmber if it will help.

Your trying to get me inebriated aren't you Phero ?

*Pinky leans forward,allows Phero to wipe the bubbles from her brow*

Cheers !

***Gently wipes Pinky's brow with silk handkerchief***

Well now Pinky, we seem to be living up to our name, facecolour-wise. (slyly exchanges champers for far cheaper cava) Another glass, old thing?

Mmmm,I wouldn't say no Phero,thankyou so much ,your generosity overwhelms me.

* Takes the glass ,gently from Phero,smiles ,kindly*


Not quite as many bubbles in this glass Phero ? Oooooopsey ,spills the glass of not so fizzy liquor onto the floor ......ooooooooooo ,that could have been nasty Phero,I JUST missed your ultra finely pressed pants then.How lucky are you ?

That floor is too dirty to be cleaned with anything that's safe to dri nk - of whatever vintage

You noticed it then Wandrin ? It's not safe.

Of course it's safe. The grapes were carefully and individually cleaned and polished by the population of Poland now resident in the pleasant fields of Champagne, France. It has never seen the inside of a rather seedy factory in an Industrial Estate just outside Hartlepool. Honestly. Some people have no trust in a chap!

You need more bubbles? Here's a straw.

***Hands Pinky a plastic straw with the name of a famous hamburger chain inscribed along its length**

This stuff, WS, cleans absolutely anything.

***Looks at floor***

Almost anything.

Needs to be more acid tha n eaither of the drinks you're pressing on Pinky (Gin and bitter lemon?)

You may well be right WS. Oh, look, do I see slugs down there?

awww for me Phero ? A straw ? All to myself ? SO thoughtful,thankyou


Slugs ? On the floor ? We could take advantage of this disadvantage..leave them to breed,if we get enough ,let them walk all over the floor ..instant cleaners ...not a Marigold in sight ...More bubbly please ...HICCUP ..Cheers !

An interesting approach to floor cleansing, Pinks. Possibly not quite as efficient as Flash, but worth a try. Here

This could be the start of something big Phero.We could open a slug farm...I have visions now....You getting up at dawn to feed the slugs.Then of course we need a labourer,I think they have to be cleaned ,or something.Hose them down perhaps,anyway,whatever not our problem. I have contacts,we can sell them by the box load.Export to foreign shores ( not everywhere has slugs quite as slimy as ours ) ...Oh yes,I feel huge success heading our way ,soon......

* Pinky returns the honours and hands a glass of the fizzy cheapy Cava to Phero,unsteadily.Seeing two of Phero is quite pleasing actually.I could get used to this she thinks *

Cheers ! This week cava ,next week,Moet.

Thanks, Pinks, but no thanks. I have done many things, and will do many things, in my life, but slug-farming is not one of them. Nobody here, you will note has expressed the slightest interest in slugs, pickled in Moet or otherwise. Nope. No. I refuse.

Sorry to disappoint and all that, but no.

Thats because they haven't realised the vision yet Phero.Please be patient.I realise,rising at dawn is rather off putting ,daunting even( a bit like keeping cows I assume ,but no milking) Once the potential has been recognised ,your going to regret your refusal of this once in a lifetime offer Phero.....still time to change your mind of course ............smiles sweetly.

Its no good smiling at me like that, my knees go wobbly and I can't see straight.

Sorry if I was a bit vague, trying to be polite, you see. What I was trying to say was NO. As in NO WAY. As in not on my aunt nellies wombat. Thanks, but NO thanks. Never.

A pleasure, as always, doing business with you, but NO!!!

*Pinky smiles even sweeter * Phero ,we must have a challenge in life ...a few million slugs can't hurt you...but if your feeling so determined to say NO to me ......you must have an alternative plan .....tell me what it is ?