How to Drive!

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Here are a few tips and tricks to use behind the wheel.

  1. MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A CAR. This is often overlooked, but is a rather essential part of the entire driving experience! Believe me, I know. I have the burns to prove it.

  2. Please make doubly certain that you have the requisite number of limbs to operate your chosen motor vehicle. Preferably four of each. If your current physiology does not support this operational mode, a backseat driver is quick and easy to install even for the most clueless motorist.

  3. The gas pedal is your friend! He loves it when you stomp down on him like that!

  4. Mr. Brake dislikes being touched. He has issues.

  5. Turn signals are specifically for those who are psychically challenged. Remember, you only need to know where you're going.

  6. There is no tip 6.

  7. I can't stress this enough: never, ever, ever get dog poo-scented air freshener! You'll regret it in the long run!

  8. The speed limit is a suggestion.

  9. Try and get one of them cool flying DeLoreans as soon as possible!

  10. Remember, green means go, yellow means go faster, and red means go really, really fast.

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