Oranges

The orange is a sweet and healthy citrus fruit clad in an amber shell, containing juicy, vitamin rich flesh. The shell has a rough surface and has a rubbery feel to it. The shell tastes foul, so it is best removed before consumption of the orange.

For peeling oranges correctly, manually and without making a mess while providing optimum appreciation of the sweetness contained within, some dexterity and finesse is required, along with fifteen minutes of undisturbed time.

Preparing the orange for consumption

Orange need not be cooked or grilled, but some form of preparation can be quite beneficial to both taste and ease of peeling.

Take the orange between your hands and roll it with a slight amount of pressure. This causes the skin too loosen a bit, but shouldn't be overdone. Overdoing this part of the process results in a squashed mess and juice all over your lap.

Once the orange has been "rolled" sufficiently we can continue on to the next stage toward attaining sweetness and good health

Removing the shell

The removal of the shell or skin of this delicious fruit can be accomplished with or without tools. Being the naturalists we are we forego sharp tools and use our nails.

Hold the orange with your left hand, positioning in such a way that the green pimple, where it once was connected to the tree it grew on, is facing upwards. Puncture the oranges' skin near the top slightly making a centerward pincing gesture using the nail of your index finger. Continue making such small incisions around the green bit until you've circumcised the entire green bit.

Now try and pull of the small round piece of skin with the green bit in the middle. The optimal way of doing so is to try and carefully drive the same nail used to cut it in the first place between the fruit and the circular piece of skin. If all goes well it should come off easily and take at least part of the white fibery center of the fruit with it.

Now carefully use the same technique on the rest of the skin until the fruit is naked and almost ready to eat. Experienced orange peelers might take pride in taking off the entire skin in one piece. Beginners should take care not to puncture the fragile inner skin of the fruit, as juice will ooze out and make removal of the white leftovers of the skin extremely difficult and messy. These yellowish white fibers have a bitter taste to them and as such are detrimental to our goal of ultimate orange enjoyment.

Removing the skin leftovers (or minimizing bitterness)

Now that the main skin is removed, we gain insight into the inner structure of the fruit at hand. It is divided into cells of a crescent shape when disconnected from eachother. But we'll get to that later on.

Radiating from the hole on top, where the green bit used to be are white fibers running in parralel with the parts dividing lines.

Carefully scrape them loose using the aforementioned nail. Slowly peel them off and watch as the true orangeness of the orange is revealed. Be very carefull when making a start, for when juice is released, the white stuff wil go gooey and sticky and will be very hard to remove afterwards.

Once the possibilities of the relatively strong fibers have been exhausted one can go two ways in removing the rest of the bitter white stuff: either you use the same nail-scraping technique on the loose ends of the white stuff, or you gently rub the allmost naked fruit, causing the white stuff to come off. The former technique requires the oranges "underwear" to have loose ends. The latter creates them.

These techniques could and should be combined. Continue using them until all yellowish bits are gone and no more of the white stuff can be removed without breaking the skin of the juice-containing cells. Take your time, it is like a little puzzle or game. Once all opportunities at white stuff-removal without inner-skin-breakage are exhausted we continue on to the next stage in attaining sweet and healthy orange bliss.

Breaking the roundness

As most of the yellow-white stuff is removed it is time to break up the fruit into managable parts for consumption. Place both your thumbs on the hole on the top of the fruit, where the green spot used to be. Now slowly and carefully tear the fruit apart by pulling your thumbs outward.

Juice leakage is inevitable at this stage but should be minimized by slow and deliberate tearing. The fruit should come apart easily, but the base deserves special attention. Quite similar to the top part this is where the white fibers come together and are connected. Use this opportunity to remove some more of them by carefully tearing the base part off in paralel with the inner skin.

Put away one half of the now divided fruit or give it to a nearby friend/lover/stranger. Now, using much the same technique as for dividing it, loosen one of the cells. This should create additional loose white fibers, which can be pulled of for maximum sweetness.

Eating!!

Holding half the orange in your left hand, bring the part prepped for consumption towards your face using the right hand. Sink your teeth in the thin part of the wedge first. Now when your teeth almost meet, pull the part to be eaten away. If there were seeds hidden inside the part, they are now in your mouth.

Do not chew them, they taste foul. Instead spit them out, preferably in fertile soil and have high hopes on growing your own orange tree. Now that the part is pitless, put it in your mouth and chew it. Savour it's deliciousness while prepping the next part of the fruit.

You can skip the thin-end-bite on parts that do not contain seeds. Because the skin of the cells is translucent, hold them up to a light source to check for the tell-tale shadows of seeds (do not use the sun for this, as it might blind you). If there are none, eat it, if there are, remove them using the aforementioned method. Repeat the process until the entire orange is devoured.

Wrapping it up

Because juice spillage is inevitable during the process described in the above paragraphs, a visit to the nearest faucet might be a good idea. Clean up the peelings and white fibers carefully and dispose of them in a proper manner.

Grab a match or a toothpick and pick your tooth in the same way you peeled the orange: carefully yet thoroughly. Because of the fibrous nature of the fruit, picking your tooth afterwards can be a very rewarding experience.

Never eat oranges when in a hurry, if you do not have time to properly peel it and pick your tooth afterwards, you'd be better off grabbing a glass of orange juice.

Because of the partitioned nature of the fruit, it is very apt to be shared with friends, lovers or children. Just be shure that you do not peel and prepare it in front of the impatient, as they will be infuriated by having to watch the methodology just described.