I recently received an inquiry from someone looking for a place to do some work and if WI-FI was easily available in the town.

Well this being the most Scottish Tuscan Hilltop Town in Italy
, “WI-FI” is pronounced “Wee-Fee” and to my knowledge has been around for hundreds of years. I was a little confused to whether he was looking for a new hilltop version or was already married and had misplaced her somewhere around here.

In my experience any man within hearing distance of WiFi could be remotely controlled. A list of uncompleted jobs would be automatically communicated to him at regular intervals. Sometimes even if not within hearing distance of your own WiFi, remote communications could be established by using someone else’s WiFi to bridge the gap. For example:

Being a small close knit community WiFi easily reaches all parts of the town and some of the surrounding territories.

Most WiFi’s are also networked together to form the local GPS service (Gossip Propagation System). The system uses a very advanced version of fuzzy logic and is normally able to locate most absent minded husbands within 5 minutes of activation.

One of the main advantages of the local GPS system as opposed to the NASA one is that this system is able to track and position Past, Current and Future husband locations as well as being able to see inside buildings through some very thick medieval stone walls.

Simple SQL like commands can be used to search it’s knowledgebase, for example:

Compared to normal Databases where an answer normally requires an input, the Hilltop GPS knowledgebase can give answers without any initial input in cases where Husband is in an unexpected location.