Cirencester, Glos
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Cirencester is a small town in the rural county of Gloucestershire. It is a small insignificant little town with big attitude problem. During the Roman occupation is was known as Corinium. It was the second biggest town with only Londinium being larger. It has however become the centre of the universe. How do we know this? All roads lead to Rome, but the road out of Rome leads to Cirencester. You probably wont of heard this before, but that's nothing to worry about as not many people have. However, I have yet to go anywhere without meeting someone that has been to Cirencester. It has become the central point for many a weary traveller in the 1800 years it has existed. Trust me, one day you too shall stumble across this small historic market town.
Things to look out for in Cirencester.
The Church.
The biggest church in Europe. Once it was an abbey, but Henry VIII decided it would be a nice idea to divorce his wife and so knocked it down. The church was also used during the civil war to hold Prisoners of war.
Kenny Cook.
The local spinner. He can be seen wondering around in a total daze talking to himself or in WC's with his rear end in the hand dryer. Lost the plot a long time ago.
I have pointed this one out, but Ciren is full of these strange folk. Years ago these people were the village idiots. There are, however, many of these strange folk and so they will be given their own separate entry in the guide.
Townies.
The scum of the earth. Mostly harmless but prone to starting trouble whenever and wherever they feel like it. Can be found wondering through town on a daily basis, trying to look hard but totaly failing in doing so. Generally, these folk are a bigger joke than the affor mentioned Kenny Cook. They are the cause of nearly all the crime in Ciren but rarely get caught. They are the unemployed and unemployable. These people are highly irritating and should be avoided at all costs, unless to spit on them. I had my chips stolen by one of them recently.
Me.
Cricklades Kebab house.
Damn fine food for the end of a riday or Saturday night. I would reccomend the meat and chips.
The rock club.
Please use the term 'club' very loosley. Should be visited just so you can go home and question it's very existence. Unfortunatley there are people who think this place is cool. They are, thankfully, a minority. Very small and very expensive. Also likely to get into a fight here. The problem is that it is the only 'club' in Ciren.
The market.
Has been in Ciren every monday since 1086 AD. There is actually a very old law that states that the market comes to town each monday so no one can stop it.
Damion Walsh.
Scum!
Cirencester is a very old town and has a very long history. There are many other things to list here which I will try and add as go along. Please add your own to the list when you eventually end up there, which I promise you will one day.
Things to look out for in Cirencester.
The Church.
The biggest church in Europe. Once it was an abbey, but Henry VIII decided it would be a nice idea to divorce his wife and so knocked it down. The church was also used during the civil war to hold Prisoners of war.
Kenny Cook.
The local spinner. He can be seen wondering around in a total daze talking to himself or in WC's with his rear end in the hand dryer. Lost the plot a long time ago.
I have pointed this one out, but Ciren is full of these strange folk. Years ago these people were the village idiots. There are, however, many of these strange folk and so they will be given their own separate entry in the guide.
Townies.
The scum of the earth. Mostly harmless but prone to starting trouble whenever and wherever they feel like it. Can be found wondering through town on a daily basis, trying to look hard but totaly failing in doing so. Generally, these folk are a bigger joke than the affor mentioned Kenny Cook. They are the cause of nearly all the crime in Ciren but rarely get caught. They are the unemployed and unemployable. These people are highly irritating and should be avoided at all costs, unless to spit on them. I had my chips stolen by one of them recently.
Me.
Cricklades Kebab house.
Damn fine food for the end of a riday or Saturday night. I would reccomend the meat and chips.
The rock club.
Please use the term 'club' very loosley. Should be visited just so you can go home and question it's very existence. Unfortunatley there are people who think this place is cool. They are, thankfully, a minority. Very small and very expensive. Also likely to get into a fight here. The problem is that it is the only 'club' in Ciren.
The market.
Has been in Ciren every monday since 1086 AD. There is actually a very old law that states that the market comes to town each monday so no one can stop it.
Damion Walsh.
Scum!
Cirencester is a very old town and has a very long history. There are many other things to list here which I will try and add as go along. Please add your own to the list when you eventually end up there, which I promise you will one day.
