Having a Big Head
Created | Updated Jun 23, 2009
Human babies are born with heads which make up a huge proportion of their body mass, compared to adults. They are admired and adored. Alien lifeforms are often depicted as having large (albeit green) heads. They are feared and respected. For centuries, it was an accepted idea that creatures with larger heads are more intelligent. Yet when an adult human sits in the back of an automobile, blocking the driver's rear view, he is neither cooed at, groveled before nor asked to solve complicated mathematical equations.
Most humans have bodies which are about seven to eight times as tall as their heads. Many of the people who are self-conscious about their seemingly distorted heads still fall within normal proportions, on account of above-average height. Some people just have big heads.
The Upside
Big head, big head,
When it rains, I don't worry.
Most people have umbrellas,
I have my big head!
-Chinese Children's Song
For centuries, the idea persisted that organisms with larger heads have larger brains, and are thus more intelligent. This came to be associated with racist, Social Darwinian ideas on the one hand and kooky, pseudoscientific ideas such as phrenology on the other. However, without any incentive to make one race seem superior to another or to make absurd predictions based on physiological features, modern scientists have in fact discovered a correlation between head size and intelligence. Several scientific studies have indicated that adults with larger heads have higher cognitive reasoning abilities and higher IQs. Some tests further conclude that babies with bigger heads at birth are more likely to have high levels of intelligence later in life.
On the other end of the intelligence spectrum, it is often said that actors and on-screen personalities (such as news broadcasters) tend to generally have larger skulls. Politicians are said to be 'bigheaded' as well, though that epithet is admittedly due to their inflated self-image.
The Downside
Yo' momma's head's so big she has to step into her shirts!
It is an unfortunate fact of life that big headed people have difficulty wearing turtleneck sweaters. They tend to be tight and pulling the sweater over one's big noggin stretches out the neckline. However, v-neck sweaters are much more loose and comfortable and the neckline is deliberately oversized. It's true that having a larger head can be inconvenient and be a cause of problems not expected by the populace at large. Hats usually come in sizes which are convenient to the majority of the population, but not to everyone else. Nowadays, specialty hat stores for the cranially endowed can be found on the internet. Another problem is eyeglasses, which cannot be as easily foregone as a hat. Many spectacles seem stretched on bigger faces, and they do not comfortably rest on the ears. Again, accommodations can usually be made upon request at an optometrist's. Similar size problems arise in helmets, transportation, headphones and of course, the act of giving birth.
Insults and epithets abound for people with big heads. 'Lollipop', 'beach-ball head', 'pumpkin/melon-head' and 'Bobble-head' are not uncommon. Perhaps the best feature of large-headedness is the insult which is only available to the colossally crowned - 'Pinhead'.