The Barrowlands Ballroom: Glasgow
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Popularly referred to as the Barras, the best place in the universe, for Scotsmen. It seems that all of music's legends have played here. When your favourite band is in town, be they Eminem, Massive Attack or (god forbid) Sepultura. They will only play here if they have real courage. This proved a point to many when the young upstart Craig David played the ballroom in 2000. (Mr David is well known for making love by Wednesday, a cross he will have to bear for years to come)
The Barras is unbelievably awesome. One particular night worthy of mention is the year 2000 Primal Scream gig. One normally warms up in some Celtic pub on the Glasgow Gallowgate. If one is lacking in wealth, a popular alternative is one pint of lager topped off with copious amounts of cheap, off-licence cider. The latter being drunk whilst waiting in the queue. Atmosphere and tension will build as the queue refuses to shift and then the doors open. Drunken hordes squeeze in like treacle through a pinhole. Each person's impatience fuelled by their own intake of alcohol and vice versa. This then leads to various people reacting in different ways. Many will push to get in, this won't help much, but you will have to get used to pushing in the Barrowlands. This is a pubescent throng at its most productive and deadly.
On entering the Ballroom you hand in your jacket at the cloakroom and any valuables you have. You must always remind yourself of the wanton destruction that looms around the corner. One particular earth being had lost two watches and had his spectacles broken in the moshpit, before the age of 21) Once inside one moves upstairs, perhaps purchasing some pop memorabilia (overpriced t-shirts and posters and badges and...) and then into the the main ballroom and down to business.
Alcohol is priority number one for those who arrive early. The Barras bar dispenses a cocktail sold in pints and known only as Diesel. It tastes like strawberrries and goes down like water. (Its contents are unknown, but it will do you fine.) You take to the floor, secure a good position and then commence your revelry for the night. Warm up DJs will be playing and Donna Summer's I Feel Love is a perrenial that will probably be heard. Again impatience will play a factor as the crowd shall resort to various chants, largely of the lewd variety, to encourage the band to take to the stage. Perhaps there will be support, perhaps not. Once the headline band takes to the stage you will get down to business.
HARD MOSHING. Moshing so hard your ears are pounding for sympathy but no the body must mosh. One jumps up and down and back up again. Shouting along inanely. This is just as real as it gets...man, every bone, every sinew demands and if it gets a bit much you may make your way to get a glass of water. You may meet a thespian, perhaps a celebrity, maybe even one of the opposite sex, you will not hear a word they say. Then you nod and head back to the throng. One should proceed to throw oneself back into the work at hand; shouting obscenities and lyrics whilst bouncing around like a madman.
You will LOVE IT! The band will leave, then come back for an encore. A huge mass of people enjoy themselves then one shall leave. On leaving one waits for the group you arrived with, each of whom will be inevitably lost. Waiting is the most dangerous part of the Barras ecperience, standing on Glasgow's Gallowgate will make you see people getting into trouble. Simply say, "Just what is it that you want to do?" You should wait for the following response, "Gonna get loaded have a good time." The bother-mongers should then give you a look of realisation. Diffusing violence is a raison d'etre for many Hitch-Hikers. The pursuit of pleasure will have passed and one will feel fulfilled, for now.
The Barras is unbelievably awesome. One particular night worthy of mention is the year 2000 Primal Scream gig. One normally warms up in some Celtic pub on the Glasgow Gallowgate. If one is lacking in wealth, a popular alternative is one pint of lager topped off with copious amounts of cheap, off-licence cider. The latter being drunk whilst waiting in the queue. Atmosphere and tension will build as the queue refuses to shift and then the doors open. Drunken hordes squeeze in like treacle through a pinhole. Each person's impatience fuelled by their own intake of alcohol and vice versa. This then leads to various people reacting in different ways. Many will push to get in, this won't help much, but you will have to get used to pushing in the Barrowlands. This is a pubescent throng at its most productive and deadly.
On entering the Ballroom you hand in your jacket at the cloakroom and any valuables you have. You must always remind yourself of the wanton destruction that looms around the corner. One particular earth being had lost two watches and had his spectacles broken in the moshpit, before the age of 21) Once inside one moves upstairs, perhaps purchasing some pop memorabilia (overpriced t-shirts and posters and badges and...) and then into the the main ballroom and down to business.
Alcohol is priority number one for those who arrive early. The Barras bar dispenses a cocktail sold in pints and known only as Diesel. It tastes like strawberrries and goes down like water. (Its contents are unknown, but it will do you fine.) You take to the floor, secure a good position and then commence your revelry for the night. Warm up DJs will be playing and Donna Summer's I Feel Love is a perrenial that will probably be heard. Again impatience will play a factor as the crowd shall resort to various chants, largely of the lewd variety, to encourage the band to take to the stage. Perhaps there will be support, perhaps not. Once the headline band takes to the stage you will get down to business.
HARD MOSHING. Moshing so hard your ears are pounding for sympathy but no the body must mosh. One jumps up and down and back up again. Shouting along inanely. This is just as real as it gets...man, every bone, every sinew demands and if it gets a bit much you may make your way to get a glass of water. You may meet a thespian, perhaps a celebrity, maybe even one of the opposite sex, you will not hear a word they say. Then you nod and head back to the throng. One should proceed to throw oneself back into the work at hand; shouting obscenities and lyrics whilst bouncing around like a madman.
You will LOVE IT! The band will leave, then come back for an encore. A huge mass of people enjoy themselves then one shall leave. On leaving one waits for the group you arrived with, each of whom will be inevitably lost. Waiting is the most dangerous part of the Barras ecperience, standing on Glasgow's Gallowgate will make you see people getting into trouble. Simply say, "Just what is it that you want to do?" You should wait for the following response, "Gonna get loaded have a good time." The bother-mongers should then give you a look of realisation. Diffusing violence is a raison d'etre for many Hitch-Hikers. The pursuit of pleasure will have passed and one will feel fulfilled, for now.
