Pet-Sitting for Atomic Physicists -- A Cautionary Guide (In Bad-Haiku Form)
Created | Updated Apr 24, 2009
Someone forgot to
check on Schrödinger's cat. Now
he sits in his box,
Half dead, waiting for
kibbles. The atom didn't
decay, no poison
was released -- but the
dumb putz who was supposed to
feed the thing, didn't.
So in the quantum
world of pet-sitting, there are
no ifs, ands, or buts --
If you like your cat --
there's no two ways about it --
Don't hire Heisenberg.
He gets too busy
measuring out the Cat Chow,
deciding where to
put the bowl, or how
fast to dish it out. When asked,
He simply shrugs and
looks uncertain, his
eyes two inscrutable slits.
You know that Werner!
He says it just can't
be helped. But the next time you
need a cat-sitter,
Stay clear of Werner,
he just can't commit, or hold
two things in his mind
at the same time. He
refuses to see a doc;
says 'it's inherent'.
But anyway, if
you need someone to see to
your kitty, why not
try Albert? He'll watch
your cat with care and -- except
for an odd habit
of tossing stray cats
onto passing trains -- he's quite
good really (just don't
ask him to play craps
with you, he gets real touchy).
Other than that, great!
So call Albert. As
far as cat-sitters go, he's
fine! (relatively).
Of course, if Albert's
not available, you might
call on Wigner's friend...
He's only good for
watching, though, he just stands there
(don't really know why)
But anyway, that's
the scoop. Just stay away from
Werner, go with Al.
So now your only
worry is that cyanide
thing -- but who can say?
-BeccaPiano [AKA Chevy Urban, intrepid researcher/Bad-Haikuer for the (Under)Guide]
---------
Two helpful links on the 'Schrodinger's Cat' experiment and related stuff:
Wikipedia, natch
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schr%C3%B6dinger%27s_cat
A wonderful, short but helpful (brilliant) take on the subject from Cecil Adams of 'The Straight Dope' - he calls it "The story of Schroedinger's cat (an epic poem)":
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/113/the-story-of-schroedingers-cat-an-epic-poem
And on the Wikipedia page, you might want to click on the 'Double Slit Experiment' link... as it says on the main page, "Richard Feynman was fond of saying that all of quantum mechanics can be gleaned from carefully thinking through the implications of this single experiment." Also, as Niels Bohr once said, "Anyone who is not shocked by quantum theory has not understood it." Cheers.
check on Schrödinger's cat. Now
he sits in his box,
Half dead, waiting for
kibbles. The atom didn't
decay, no poison
was released -- but the
dumb putz who was supposed to
feed the thing, didn't.
So in the quantum
world of pet-sitting, there are
no ifs, ands, or buts --
If you like your cat --
there's no two ways about it --
Don't hire Heisenberg.
He gets too busy
measuring out the Cat Chow,
deciding where to
put the bowl, or how
fast to dish it out. When asked,
He simply shrugs and
looks uncertain, his
eyes two inscrutable slits.
You know that Werner!
He says it just can't
be helped. But the next time you
need a cat-sitter,
Stay clear of Werner,
he just can't commit, or hold
two things in his mind
at the same time. He
refuses to see a doc;
says 'it's inherent'.
But anyway, if
you need someone to see to
your kitty, why not
try Albert? He'll watch
your cat with care and -- except
for an odd habit
of tossing stray cats
onto passing trains -- he's quite
good really (just don't
ask him to play craps
with you, he gets real touchy).
Other than that, great!
So call Albert. As
far as cat-sitters go, he's
fine! (relatively).
Of course, if Albert's
not available, you might
call on Wigner's friend...
He's only good for
watching, though, he just stands there
(don't really know why)
But anyway, that's
the scoop. Just stay away from
Werner, go with Al.
So now your only
worry is that cyanide
thing -- but who can say?
-BeccaPiano [AKA Chevy Urban, intrepid researcher/Bad-Haikuer for the (Under)Guide]
---------
Two helpful links on the 'Schrodinger's Cat' experiment and related stuff:
Wikipedia, natch
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schr%C3%B6dinger%27s_cat
A wonderful, short but helpful (brilliant) take on the subject from Cecil Adams of 'The Straight Dope' - he calls it "The story of Schroedinger's cat (an epic poem)":
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/113/the-story-of-schroedingers-cat-an-epic-poem
And on the Wikipedia page, you might want to click on the 'Double Slit Experiment' link... as it says on the main page, "Richard Feynman was fond of saying that all of quantum mechanics can be gleaned from carefully thinking through the implications of this single experiment." Also, as Niels Bohr once said, "Anyone who is not shocked by quantum theory has not understood it." Cheers.
