A useful device for budding musicians, allowing them to hide at the back of the stage while learning to play.

Novice players will also find that an overweight or flamboyant lead singer can provide useful cover. Similarly, a bad guitarist can help mask the fact that you can't actually play. The bad guitarist, whose 'Big Muff' distortion pedal will be permanently set on 10, will drown out everyone (except the drummer) with a wall of noise somewhat reminiscent of a logging team in an old-growth forest. Good guitarists are to be avoided at all costs - they will leave space for the rest of the band, and may remember which chords they're supposed to be playing, either of which will make you look bad.

Notable bass guitarists: Jaco Pastorius; William 'Bootsy' Collins

Notable bad guitarists: [:-)]