The Annoyances of Scrabble
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Scrabble is one of the great 'annoying' games of the 20th Century. Everyone seems to have a copy of it, but no one seems to play it (Apart from those sad board games addicts and the people who think they have a massive vocabulary). When they do play it, however, a combination of one or more things from the following list takes place:
1. One of the players becomes obsessed with spelling out rude words.
2. Most of the game is spent debating whether 'discomnoceration' is a real word and/or with your head in a dictionary.
3. Someone sneezes and blows all the tiles on the floor.
4. You start the game with the letters X, Z, Q, F, B, W and J.
5. There is a missing Y in the set.
6. You will find yourself playing with someone who has a massive vocabulary. They will spend the game looking incredibly smug and will beat you mercilessly.
7. You will find yourself playing with someone who is as thick as two short planks. You will have a very long, boring game (unless you are someone who has a massive vocabulary. If so, you will spend the game looking incredibly smug and will beat your opponent mercilessly).
8. You will find yourself playing with a sad board games addict. You will have a very long game, or, to be more precise, a series of about 8 games which will last until 2AM.
9. You will realise that the person you are playing with has 8 tiles on his/her rack, instead of the 7 that you are allowed.
10. Your opponent will accuse you of having 8 tiles. You'll then have to grovel to your opponent to convince them it was a mistake, provided it was a mistake, of course...
11. You will lose your will to live mid-game, unless you are a sad board games addict, in which case you have no life anyway.
12. Halfway through a game you will realise you haven't been keeping track of the score.
13. You'll find you can't be bothered to play it properly so you just make random words on the board.
14. The triple word score is always tantalisingly out of reach.
15. Your opponent scores over 430 points for 'jabberer' running from one triple word to another with the b hitting the double letter square (This was submitted by 'johnwfultonReallyNothingReallyMattersReally').
16. You get a massively good scoring word and mercilessly beat your opponent. Noone will ever play you again (This was submitted by 'johnwfultonReallyNothingReallyMattersReally').
17. Your opponent insists on taking three quarters of an hour to choose their word. In cases like these it is advisable to have a good book at your elbow, and to treat the game simply as an occasional diversion at the end of a chapter. However, some players insist that it is bad form to read during the game and expect you to sit there in breathless anticipation while they work through every possible combination of their letters only to put down 'dog' 45 minutes later (This was submitted by 'Cloviscat (Not really a Rev but definitely a Scout)')
18. You get up from your chair and you realise that you have been sitting on some of the tiles for the last 3 hours (This was submitted by 'Archangel Galaxy Babe {2001 - A spACE odyssey}')
19. On your trip to the kitchen for a drink, you step on one of the tiles, causing you a lot of pain. Even worse, on your way back, you slip on the same tile and smash the glass with the drink on your head (This was submitted by 'Archangel Galaxy Babe {2001 - A spACE odyssey}')
In any case, after a few hours of playing, you'll want to personally hang the Parker Bros. with the drawstring of the letter bag.
P.S. If you have a suggestion for another point, Email me it at [email protected] and I'll add it, as long as it's true!
1. One of the players becomes obsessed with spelling out rude words.
2. Most of the game is spent debating whether 'discomnoceration' is a real word and/or with your head in a dictionary.
3. Someone sneezes and blows all the tiles on the floor.
4. You start the game with the letters X, Z, Q, F, B, W and J.
5. There is a missing Y in the set.
6. You will find yourself playing with someone who has a massive vocabulary. They will spend the game looking incredibly smug and will beat you mercilessly.
7. You will find yourself playing with someone who is as thick as two short planks. You will have a very long, boring game (unless you are someone who has a massive vocabulary. If so, you will spend the game looking incredibly smug and will beat your opponent mercilessly).
8. You will find yourself playing with a sad board games addict. You will have a very long game, or, to be more precise, a series of about 8 games which will last until 2AM.
9. You will realise that the person you are playing with has 8 tiles on his/her rack, instead of the 7 that you are allowed.
10. Your opponent will accuse you of having 8 tiles. You'll then have to grovel to your opponent to convince them it was a mistake, provided it was a mistake, of course...
11. You will lose your will to live mid-game, unless you are a sad board games addict, in which case you have no life anyway.
12. Halfway through a game you will realise you haven't been keeping track of the score.
13. You'll find you can't be bothered to play it properly so you just make random words on the board.
14. The triple word score is always tantalisingly out of reach.
15. Your opponent scores over 430 points for 'jabberer' running from one triple word to another with the b hitting the double letter square (This was submitted by 'johnwfultonReallyNothingReallyMattersReally').
16. You get a massively good scoring word and mercilessly beat your opponent. Noone will ever play you again (This was submitted by 'johnwfultonReallyNothingReallyMattersReally').
17. Your opponent insists on taking three quarters of an hour to choose their word. In cases like these it is advisable to have a good book at your elbow, and to treat the game simply as an occasional diversion at the end of a chapter. However, some players insist that it is bad form to read during the game and expect you to sit there in breathless anticipation while they work through every possible combination of their letters only to put down 'dog' 45 minutes later (This was submitted by 'Cloviscat (Not really a Rev but definitely a Scout)')
18. You get up from your chair and you realise that you have been sitting on some of the tiles for the last 3 hours (This was submitted by 'Archangel Galaxy Babe {2001 - A spACE odyssey}')
19. On your trip to the kitchen for a drink, you step on one of the tiles, causing you a lot of pain. Even worse, on your way back, you slip on the same tile and smash the glass with the drink on your head (This was submitted by 'Archangel Galaxy Babe {2001 - A spACE odyssey}')
In any case, after a few hours of playing, you'll want to personally hang the Parker Bros. with the drawstring of the letter bag.
P.S. If you have a suggestion for another point, Email me it at [email protected] and I'll add it, as long as it's true!
