Edward Zitron
Created | Updated May 21, 2002
Many many millions of years ago, a small blob of slimy s**t slapped out of a puddle and onto the ground. This was the beginning of life on land. One blob, however, remained in the pond being too fat and blobbish to haul itself out. It festered and decomposed, growing ever fatter and more obscene. The blobs that escaped the confines of the puddle went on to become the human race. The hideous blob of gunk left floating in the puddle of s**t went on to become Edward Zitron.
He's fat. He's bloated. He's hideously ugly. He smells of s**t. I hate him. I hate him. EVERYONE hates him. He's like a cloud of stink gas. If released into a crowd of people, it can be extremely irritating and the crowd will instantly disperse, covering their noses against the stench and grimacing in disgusted horror. Such is Edward Zitron. If I could kill one person in the world. It would be him. But I can't. So I'll just have to try and avoid him.
Or injure him.
Mortally.
Fatally, even.
Yees....
He's fat. He's bloated. He's hideously ugly. He smells of s**t. I hate him. I hate him. EVERYONE hates him. He's like a cloud of stink gas. If released into a crowd of people, it can be extremely irritating and the crowd will instantly disperse, covering their noses against the stench and grimacing in disgusted horror. Such is Edward Zitron. If I could kill one person in the world. It would be him. But I can't. So I'll just have to try and avoid him.
Or injure him.
Mortally.
Fatally, even.
Yees....
