The Fantastic Four - Abridged edition
Created | Updated Jul 13, 2006
*A big black metal statue is being built, pan down to that guy from the Sheild (ben), and Richard Reeds*
BEN: (Looks at statue) Hoi hoi, this guy Victor Von Doom, bit of a bugger isn't he especially after stealing your missus who quite clearly still fancies you
RICHARD: Ssshhh don't give away the plot! Besides we need someone rich and foriegn sounding to fund us
*They enter a stupidly large building*
-----
*Victors office. Computer planets wiz around infront of Victor, despite being shaded by nothing and thus having no reason not to be partially lit*
RICHARD: I'm pretty skint Victor and I want to go into space with some plants. Theres some funky radiation from the sun coming in 8 weeks so I want to go have a nosey and get some mutant plants. Should be a laugh
VICTOR: BAH HA! I HAVE STOLEN ALL THE THINGS YOU LOVE AND NOW YOU BEG ME FOR HELP!!!
BEN: Well if your going to be like that...
VICTOR: NO WAIT! Let me call in my extremely attractive science person who Richard dated, then agree
*Susan comes in, some hugging, before they all agree to go into space. They also decide to use Susans brother as the pilot (dunno his name, dont really care), despite him being a complete mong and never EVER obeying anyone*
----------
*They fly into space. Richard explains that theres only 8 hours left, not 8 weeks due to a 'miscalculation'. Victor tries to persuade susan to marry him but is interupted at exactly the perfect time by Richard shouting. Turns out the eight week original calculation has shrunk to 8 minutes. He's a brilliant scientist really. They all get hit by radiation*
------
*They get down to earth. They all slowly realise they've turned into bizarre mutants with powers. Ben turns into the incredible hob-nob and wanders off into the forest. No one thinks to chase him via the trail and instead they head off to new york*
-----
*Ben sits on a bridge mopping about his wife leaving him. Whilst dangling a man walks up next to him as if to commit suicide*
BEN: You think you got it bad? Think of the poor audience
*The man panics and jumps onto the road. Ben follows and bashes a truck up. The resulting pile up kills 9 people. The others arrive and use it as an excuse for the woman to get most of her kit off. Richard pervs a bit before walking past the police easily. After nearly killing some firemen too, they decide it best to go back to Richards place*
-----
*Despite being in masses of debt and unable to calculate the difference between 8 weeks and 8 minutes, he owns a stupidly large amount of scientific worky stuff, yet seemingly no TV or sofa's until later on. Various jokes about the invisable woman are made as Richard pervs on her some more. Cue innuendo about the stretchy man being able to stretch everything*
-----
*Victor sits in his office. No one has thought to question him, or test him, regarding the radiation, and merely assume the shield protected him, despite the fact that the cut on his face seems to constantly change size and shape.*
VICTOR: Why does no one love me. I know lets perv on susan using the hidden cameras i seem to have installed.
*He turns to the cabinate where a large object is held. On the plaque beneath is written 'for humanitarian efforts to help lataviaa or something like that', despite the object being a learing mask that looks about as friendly and humanitarian as the grim reaper*
-----
