h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So, yesterday we mentioned feminine masculine and neuter.

There are three genders in German. Feminine, masculine and neuter. These have nothing to do with the gender of the thing being designated, they are purely grammatical.

While discussing DIMINUITIVES, it was mentioned that all words ending in "chen" or "lein" which forms the diminuitive are neuter.

So "die Tür" becomes "das Türchen". Which is why a girl is neuter - "die Magd" - "das Mädchen"; "die Frau" - "das Fräulein". Pity, really, but we must learn to detach ourselves from the concept of gender as opposed to the concept of female, male, sex and so on.

So what would be masculine?

Having said that, most words for people are male if referring to a man.

Der Bäcker, the baker,
Der Ingenieur
Der Papst.

There is always a female equivalent, which makes addresses groups of people or writing letters rather cumbersome.

Die Bäckerin
Die Ingenieurin
Die Päpstin (only known so far in the book "Pope Joan", which is translated as "Die Päpstin")

(very specialised stuff - some words ending in "eur" finish with "euse" in the female version -

Der Friseur, Die Friseuse (hairdresser)
Der Masseur, die Masseuse. (A lady who practices massage for medical purposes only will be addressed as a "Masseurin" to save her embarrassment.)

OK so back to the male gender.

Learning which nouns have a "der" in front, which is the masculine nominative definite article (hope you were paying attention yesterday!) is really just a case of sitting down and learning them off by heart. Here are a few common ones.

Der Kater - the tom-cat
Der Berg - the mountain
Der Traktor - the tractor
Der Zug - the train
Der Führerschein - the driving licence
Der Füller, der Kuli - the fountain pen, the biro
Der Tisch - the table
Der Stuhl - the chair
Der Boden - the floor
Der Griff - the handle (is also used for the way to hold something, e.g. the action of he left hand when playing a certain chord on the guitar)
Der Schuh - the shoe

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Useful rule: all words formed by joining two or three words together take the gender of the last word.

Thus, if you know "Der Führerschein", you can derive that all words ending in "Schein" are masculine.

Der "Anschein", (the appearance, usage is somewhat complicated), "Der Sonnenschein", (sunshine. Notice that "Schein" has three meanings, (i) a piece of paper, (ii) appearance (iii) shine (n)., thus causing an opening for puns in German, puns, however are not terribly common, but they are catching on).
Der Geldschein - (the note - monetary). A good example for this rule, as "Geld" is otherwise neuter - das Geld.

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What else is there to say about masculine words?

Here is a list of a few more common nouns. Please ask copious questions, should you have problems with meaning, usage or pronunciation.

Der Stift - a useful word. Means anything long and narrow and cylindrical. Usually a pencil (full name "Der Bleistift") or something to write with, but can also be a small wooden peg for joining two things together, or as put through a simple hinge. Is also a slang sort of word for a factotum or an errand boy. Come to think of it, it also means an institution run on a Trust Fund, like a hospital, old peoples' home or something, but only if this is included in the name, so you wouldn't have to think about this one.

Der Wagen - an acceptable word for car, although "Das Auto" is more usual. Also means railway carriage or horse-drawn waggon or cart. And the constellation of the Plough (astronom.)

Der Block - writing pad. Also used in the sense of "um den Block" - round the block, as in block of houses surrounded by four streets.

Der Kalender - the calendar
Der Bildschirm - screen (with pictures) as in TV or PC.
Der Bildschirmschoner* - screen saver.

* All words ending in "er" when they are obviously created from a verb, in addition to the professions etc., are masculine.

Der Drucker - the printer
Der Plattenspieler - the record player
Der Gärtner - the gardener
Der Türsteher - the bouncer - yes, as in discos etc.
Der Fernsprecher - old-fashioned word for telephone (das Telefon)

Surprisingly, although it would seem so from the examples above that the majoritiy of words must be masculine, there are plenty of feminine and neuter words, which we will deal with over the next couple of days.

Keep it up!