Cocoa Beach Good Eats is not an Oxymoron
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
A quick note on where the devil is Cocoa Beach...
It's by the Kennedy Space Center on the east coast of Florida, USA, Earth. It's the only place on this planet where we can easily see the rocket's red glare send humans into space. Cocoa Beach is just minutes away from Orlando's big, beautiful, almost-a-joy-to-fly-into-or-out-of International Airport. (In comparison, just try to get a flight into Baikonur, the only other human-capable space port within at least seven light years.)
There is plenty of good eatin' here in Cocoa Beach, if you know where to look, starting with...
Roberto's Little Havana
It's at the corner of Minuteman Causeway and AIA (Orlando Avenue).
Roberto's is a charming diner serving Cuban-American dishes. The wait staff is fun and friendly; food is plentiful and reasonably priced. You're just two blocks from the ocean here, in 'downtown' Cocoa Beach.
Do not come in a hurry. Diner or not, everything is cooked to order. (And for those of you who collect them, you will find the phrase 'cooked to perfection' used a few times.)
The outside is funky '60s -- inside, Roberto's is seriously clean, sparkling even. Appreciate the hand-stenciled pineapples.
The steak/garlic shrimp combo will stay with you for two days. It's that good (and strong). In fact, garlic permeates everything here. Fantastico! (Sorry!) Go for the palmico steak at the top of the page. Order a pitcher of Sangria. Black beans on the side. Yellow rice. Try the yucca. (Yes, you can enjoy Roberto's without eating flesh, but palettes other than ours should be consulted.)
This is a great place to take up to, say, eight people, although they'll slide tables around for more, if need be. It's (not too) noisy, fun, and just up the street from Cocoa Beach's best nudie bar, if that's your reason for visiting.
Roberto's closes early -- 9 or so -- so eat first, then frolic. Two people can have dinner, sangria, and leave a tip for under $30, easy. Lunches run five to eight bucks, and you'll be nicely filled at the end.
Roberto's is a landmark, and will be around. So if you have one meal to eat in Cocoa Beach, we suggest....
Space Grill
Get thee to this primo place quickly. It's so good and inexpensive that no one goes there, except us CatCarousers. (Just because our neighbors really _are_ rocket scientists doesn't mean they necessarily know good food.)
Heading South on AIA from Ron Jon's, the Space Grill is on your right, just past the split in the road and beyond the awful "welcome to downtown Cocoa Beach' fountain. (If you see Roberto's or the Minuteman Causeway, you're too far south. Turn left, then left again, then left again when you see the backside of the aforementioned fountain. Say 'yabba dabba doo!' as you pass, and I wish I had that foot-pounding sound effect to play right about now.)
The Space Grill is a grill -- every entree is indeed grilled -- and then again, it's not. The dining room is clever, with a big ol' mural of the shuttle in flight on one end, a plaster & hardboard art deco space shuttle model planted in the center of the room, aqua walls, and extremely comfortable chairs at tables with leatherette tableclothes and honest-to-gosh gold-leafed china and stemware.
It's a surprisingly subdued, handsome room. Not like a grill at all.
But it's a grill menu. Printed on thin, glossy stock, all menu entrees are named for a celestial body (try the Cindy Crawford!). Mrs. CatCarouser generally eats the Earth. Mr. CatCarouser tackles one of the superb pork entries, such as the Pluto or its tenderloin cousin.
The wonderful owners are Brazilians (who apparently love chunks of cow and pig as much as any Argentinian or Iowan). Their kids are the wait staff. The mouse we saw on the first visit has since been dispatched. Poor Topo Gigio!
Mouse or not (not at this point), this is a fabulous eatery, even more sparkling clean than Roberto's. Quiet enough so adults can talk without shouting and spewing food. Soft lighting so even ugly people look OK; bright enough so the vain among us can read the menu without reaching for the glasses we left at home. (Darn!)
Two can eat, drink reasonably, and have an appetizer for $25, tip included. And if you go often enough, you might be rewarded with a free dessert to take home, like we were!
Mmmm! Spacey!
Punjab
In a land without burritos or pizza, surprise, surprise, one can eat some of the best Indian food in the States. This is no idle boast; I know my vindaloos from my biryanis, just don't check my spelling. (No burritos? No pizza? More on that later...)
Punjab is on the north side of the 520 Causeway, just west of AIA, in a small strip mall. Also in the mall is a rather unique store called "Bones' selling purported dinosaur parts, none of them edible. Bones is on the corner of the mall, has huge bones propping up the entrance, and is utterly unmissable. See it, and you've found Punjab, located a few doors east.
Lunch costs five bucks. It is excellent. Lamb, chicken or vegetarian curry, hot or mild as you like. (Veteran Indian eaters know it takes a few visits before the chefs truly believe that when you say hotter than the fires of hell, you really mean hotter than the fires of hell. Once the wait staff says, "Oh my goodness, sir, even _I_ don't eat it that hot!" you will have arrived.)
Absolutely every item on this menu is a treasure. This is one of the rare Indian restaurants where diners may enthusiastically order and eat the seafood curries. Spectacular! Go native with a Kingfisher beer. Stay away from the wine. They have a formidable array of bottles, but those who have tried tend not to reorder.
Mr. CatCarouser picks some kind of vindaloo (finding the biryanis a tad dry), and orders extra hunks of Nan or potato bread to soak up the juices. Mrs. goes for the tandoori chicken tikka, moist and flavorful.
At night, figure on $15-20 per person. It's more than worth it; go once, return often.
The proprietors are Sikh; headresses, beards and all. Very formal; you may find them standoffish. Nope. Just polite. The room is very pleasant: booths on either side, white linen, nice china. Isn't the word 'pukka'?
Five bucks for lunch! It's like robbery!
Yen Yen
Outstanding Chinese. Inventive. Flavorful. Beautiful presentation. Lovely room. Everybody knows about Yen Yen. Northwest corner of Minuteman and northbound AIA.
North of Ron Jon's (you will have been mesmerized by its looming billboards for some time, then dazzled by its neon lights, and awed by its sand sculptures. At least, that's the plan), the Cocoa Beach Pier restaurant's Sunday brunch, and the Tokyo Steak House (sushi, too), are worth a nod. The former's over the ocean; dress up a bit. The latter's on AIA next to dunkin' donuts, and is close to a dive, but fun. If it's grease you crave, there is a Wafffe House, south of 520 on AIA. Their hash browns -- covered, smothered, scattered, chunked, and peppered -- may well be a late night CatCarouser's best friend.
Daniel's Motorcycle Cafe
This stylish cafe offers, among other treats, the closest thing to good pizza in Cocoa Beach. Their soups and sandwiches are flavorful and filling. Don't be put off by the unexpected ingredients. Try the seafood pizza for one, filled with crabmeat and other goodies. You'll thank me.
Yes, they do have a couple Indian motorcycles on the dining rom floor, one of which leaks oil. There is a large display of hot sauces for sale. One particular potboiler is named "the bomb'. Kevorkian could use it. The bomb is hotter than the surface of the sun which, I recall, is plenty hot. Do not buy one. Just nod and speak sagely about it.
Grease and bombs aside, this is yet another very clean restaurant. Lots of glass block, comfortable chairs, a nice diner counter. And leather Daniel's bras for sale, among other motorcycle aficionado accessories! Daytona Beach, an hour or so to the North, is something of a motorcyclists' mecca; hordes of bikers regularly rumble up and down the Coast Road, because once you've ridden on the beach at Daytona, there's not much else to do. So the motorcycle enthusiasts -- a term coined by Harley Davidson, by the eway -- spend most days day trippin'.
Daniel's is located on the ground floor of a blue-hued office building on the east side of AIA in Cape Canaveral, on the way to Port Canaveral (more on that in a moment). It is easy to miss. In fact, it took us six months to find it and I was looking, since their advertisements promised 'gourment pizza' .
Daniel's is right by the Cape Canaveral Post Office. So if your search fails, stop at the huge Speedway gas station to ask where the post office is. (Assuming locals know ... they aren't all rocket scientists....) Daniels is south of Speedway, on the east side of AIA.
Daniel's lunch is great, especially on Friday, when you can indulge in one or more of their vast stock of imported beers, or Monday, when you need some of the hair of the dog, perhaps. If you stop for lunch, afterwards head across the street (Columbia at AIA) to All About Hair for a $7 cut (guys). Say hi to Rosie and Christine, and maybe bring 'em a bowl of soup or a sandwich. They're swell.
Fancy something a bit fancier?
Mangroves
Right by Daniel's -- a bit south, on the west side of AIA, is Mangrove's, also in Cape Canaveral. Look for the sign for the natural foods grocery; Mangrove's in that group of shops.)
My rule of thumb is that when you see a baseball butt steak on the menu, order it. Mangroves has it. God it's good.
Mangroves has local art on the walls, and usually a local artist on stage, painting local art. On our last visit, the artists' little girl was playing more creatively than dad was painting, but I could be wrong. I can't draw stick people.
For the technoids among us (and I suspect that's almost everyone -- back in 1992, when I tried to register "zaphod" as my AOL screen name, "zaphod6892" was the lowest number available), Jennifer the wait person is both a geek and a major babe. Yes, she can discuss C++ as well as your Shiraz. Not that you'll remember. And yes, your napkin is probably stuck to your forehead as you come down with a serious, potentially fatal, case of AWS -- "Attractive Woman Syndrome," the bane of programmers everywhere.
I found the decor a bit schmaltzy, but the concrete palm trunks and other oddities rather grow on you, especially after a bottle or two from the reasonably priced, and rather good, wine list.
Eat anything on the menu. I won't claim it's Wolfgang Puck working the oven, but it is artful, fresh, and tasty. Figure $20-25 each plus wine. And tip Jennifer generously, especially if she solves that pesky memory leak.
Finally...
Port Canaveral
When we moved here, locals told us to 'try out the Port.' Huh? What port?
Turns out Port Canaveral -- just north of the city of Cape Canaveral, which is just north of Cocoa Beach -- is one of the busiest cruise ports in the country, albeit largely for the gambling cruises offered several times a day.
There is no easy way to get there. The main Port intersection is torn up, making way for a cloverleaf (no bypass jokes please). From the Bee Line (528), heading East, do not exit at the 401 ramp. Continue to the first stop light, where you need to slide left amongst the construction barriers. Turn left, then left again at the "T". Good luck!
Coming up AIA from Cocoa Beach, move to the right lane once the construction barricades appear. Turn right at the light, then left at the T.
Proceed North (like it matters), then follow the road to the right. Rusty's will loom.
Rusty's
This was the first place we visited at the Port. Mr. and Mrs. CatCarouser, and his mother in law. The waitresses (not wait staff), were wearing tight blue satin shorts and even tighter T-shirts. Rusty's is not what you would call clean, morally or hygenically. Plastic tableclothes. Booze-stained wood floors. The layer of buttery grease found in every restaurant that serves literal tons of shrimp and other shellfish..
Oh, great idea. Lap dance, Mom? (Surprisingly, that's not on the menu.)
But great food. Wahoo. Cobia.
You don't know what those are, do you? And you never will, except here and very few other places. In short, Wahoo and Cobia are the finest-tasting fish on this planet.
Wahoo is in the mackerel family, but has none of its cousin's greasy, oily, attributes. Served "steaked" -- which means the fish is cut into pieces perpendicular to the backbone -- Wahoo is firm enough to grill, and stalwart enough to stand up to Rusty's tasty "Montreal" and "jerked" presentations. Blackened is an option, too, but that requires a skill generally not present behind Rusty's grill.
If Wahoo is rather handsome, as mackerel go, Cobia may be the uglist fish on the planet, looking for all the world like an overstuffed channel catfish. This is not what you'd pick to eat upon visual inspection. But as a grilled fillet -- meaning the fish is pieced by cutting parallel to the backbone, and all skin removed -- Cobia is hard to beat.
Rusty's also has a raw bar, but the preparers are not particularly skilled at the art of oyster shucking. This is one of the toughest jobs around. It requires strength, stamina, and the ability to identify even the smallest imperfection in an oyster. There are all types of creeping crud caused by oysters contaminated by sewage and other human execrensces. If the shucker isn't skilled, you can get sick. People do.
So stick with the shrimp. Nice big Atlantic shrimp, caught right outside the Port, frequently. A half pound of peel 'n' eats will do nicely as an appetizer for two persons.
For the main course, here is the order of fish to order:
Wahoo. Cobia. Tuna. Grouper. Dolphin aka mahi-mahi. Get the tuna seared, and rare. If you're lucky enough to arrive at Rusty's during a fishing tournament, ask for a piece of whichever of the above fish have been brought in. Its fresh flavor will dazzle you.
They've got this thing called mozarella bread that is positively gross and delicious. Get more sauce on the side.
There's a full bar at Rusty's, and most everyone _is_ drunk or on the way to inebriation, which helps explain the general disarray of the place.
It's expensive, too. Figure $20-35 each, if you order a special fish., which seems a bit pricy for food served in plastic baskets, a roll of 'generic' paper towels on a post instead of napkins, and plastic cutlery.
Which is one of the reasons we mostly go to Grill's when we're at the Port.
Grills
A couple hundred yards east of Rusty's, Grill's has live music on weekends, a fabulous fish sandwich, and the most decrepit restrooms outside the Ozarks. Not to mention a leaky roof, food served in plastic baskets with plastic cutlery, and the occasional bird flying around the rafters.
But, Grill's does have its fish sandwich! Order one (under $8), with the fish of the day. If tuna's in, ask for it rare. (Sadly, there's rarely wahoo or cobia to be had here.)
Mrs. CatCarouser also orders these gross but delightful cheese fries. The fries are skin on. Darn they are good. I get fat just thinking of them. And instead of a beer, I'll chug a hard cider or lemonade. Ordering hint: if more than one hard (meaning alcoholic) lemonade is available, base your selection on the color of the ade. A deeper, richer, color is a more robust ade.
A bonus for Grills is that it's possible to get there by boat. Mooring slips are usually available right in front. Not so at Rusty's. (Yes, CatCarousers have a boat. And jetskis!)
Schoolies
This used to be a long rickety flight of stairs above a bait shop and marina warehouse. Very good fish sandwiches, especially the scallops. Grab a Bud and watch the boats chug in and out of the Port.
Schoolies just opened a big new restaurant a block away from the water. Now it offers a full menu, etc. I miss the old place. But the scallop sandwich remains heavenly.
For all these good eats, be sure to check the local papers and tourii fliers for coupons. Grills and Punjab regularly run $$ off coupons. Space Grill will give you a coupon for your next meal.
That's it, and we've covered the major Cocoa Beach (and environs) food groups: Cuban, Brazilian, Chinese, Punjabian, fish, butt steak..... And there are a few other places, like the Sunrise Cafe and Dino's, about which I hear good things.
But there are some foods you cannot find here. Right on the oceanfront, and is there a shrimp/spinach/bacon thin crust pizza to be found?
Heck, no! Even though half the names in the local phone book have a vowel on the end, pizza (or decent Italian generally) is just plain not available in Cocoa Beach, with or without shrimp or spinach. The best Italian is at Carrabas. _A chain_.
Let's not get started about Mexican cuisine. Around here, if it doesn't have a glop of avocado, it just ain't authentic.
This means I buy my pizzas at Pizzaria lo Spizzicolo and my burritos at La Pasada, both in Chicago, and fly 'em down here. A good excuse for a business trip. God help me, I have actually _eaten a chalupa_ since moving here!!!
Okay, the gripes are complete.
Using the recommendations above, anyone who comes for a week is covered! Some of the restaurants aren't in the phone book yet; if you're visiting, you can get numbers by dialing 321 (blastoff) 555-1212 in the US, or 411 from anywhere in Brevard County.
And don't let the state of sanitation at the Port dissuade you. The restaurants around here keep things clean where it counts, in the kitchen. Just stay away from the shellfish in months without an "R".
By the way, as I write, we're just ten minutes away from a shuttle launch. Cool!
Mongo the CatCarouser
It's by the Kennedy Space Center on the east coast of Florida, USA, Earth. It's the only place on this planet where we can easily see the rocket's red glare send humans into space. Cocoa Beach is just minutes away from Orlando's big, beautiful, almost-a-joy-to-fly-into-or-out-of International Airport. (In comparison, just try to get a flight into Baikonur, the only other human-capable space port within at least seven light years.)
There is plenty of good eatin' here in Cocoa Beach, if you know where to look, starting with...
Roberto's Little Havana
It's at the corner of Minuteman Causeway and AIA (Orlando Avenue).
Roberto's is a charming diner serving Cuban-American dishes. The wait staff is fun and friendly; food is plentiful and reasonably priced. You're just two blocks from the ocean here, in 'downtown' Cocoa Beach.
Do not come in a hurry. Diner or not, everything is cooked to order. (And for those of you who collect them, you will find the phrase 'cooked to perfection' used a few times.)
The outside is funky '60s -- inside, Roberto's is seriously clean, sparkling even. Appreciate the hand-stenciled pineapples.
The steak/garlic shrimp combo will stay with you for two days. It's that good (and strong). In fact, garlic permeates everything here. Fantastico! (Sorry!) Go for the palmico steak at the top of the page. Order a pitcher of Sangria. Black beans on the side. Yellow rice. Try the yucca. (Yes, you can enjoy Roberto's without eating flesh, but palettes other than ours should be consulted.)
This is a great place to take up to, say, eight people, although they'll slide tables around for more, if need be. It's (not too) noisy, fun, and just up the street from Cocoa Beach's best nudie bar, if that's your reason for visiting.
Roberto's closes early -- 9 or so -- so eat first, then frolic. Two people can have dinner, sangria, and leave a tip for under $30, easy. Lunches run five to eight bucks, and you'll be nicely filled at the end.
Roberto's is a landmark, and will be around. So if you have one meal to eat in Cocoa Beach, we suggest....
Space Grill
Get thee to this primo place quickly. It's so good and inexpensive that no one goes there, except us CatCarousers. (Just because our neighbors really _are_ rocket scientists doesn't mean they necessarily know good food.)
Heading South on AIA from Ron Jon's, the Space Grill is on your right, just past the split in the road and beyond the awful "welcome to downtown Cocoa Beach' fountain. (If you see Roberto's or the Minuteman Causeway, you're too far south. Turn left, then left again, then left again when you see the backside of the aforementioned fountain. Say 'yabba dabba doo!' as you pass, and I wish I had that foot-pounding sound effect to play right about now.)
The Space Grill is a grill -- every entree is indeed grilled -- and then again, it's not. The dining room is clever, with a big ol' mural of the shuttle in flight on one end, a plaster & hardboard art deco space shuttle model planted in the center of the room, aqua walls, and extremely comfortable chairs at tables with leatherette tableclothes and honest-to-gosh gold-leafed china and stemware.
It's a surprisingly subdued, handsome room. Not like a grill at all.
But it's a grill menu. Printed on thin, glossy stock, all menu entrees are named for a celestial body (try the Cindy Crawford!). Mrs. CatCarouser generally eats the Earth. Mr. CatCarouser tackles one of the superb pork entries, such as the Pluto or its tenderloin cousin.
The wonderful owners are Brazilians (who apparently love chunks of cow and pig as much as any Argentinian or Iowan). Their kids are the wait staff. The mouse we saw on the first visit has since been dispatched. Poor Topo Gigio!
Mouse or not (not at this point), this is a fabulous eatery, even more sparkling clean than Roberto's. Quiet enough so adults can talk without shouting and spewing food. Soft lighting so even ugly people look OK; bright enough so the vain among us can read the menu without reaching for the glasses we left at home. (Darn!)
Two can eat, drink reasonably, and have an appetizer for $25, tip included. And if you go often enough, you might be rewarded with a free dessert to take home, like we were!
Mmmm! Spacey!
Punjab
In a land without burritos or pizza, surprise, surprise, one can eat some of the best Indian food in the States. This is no idle boast; I know my vindaloos from my biryanis, just don't check my spelling. (No burritos? No pizza? More on that later...)
Punjab is on the north side of the 520 Causeway, just west of AIA, in a small strip mall. Also in the mall is a rather unique store called "Bones' selling purported dinosaur parts, none of them edible. Bones is on the corner of the mall, has huge bones propping up the entrance, and is utterly unmissable. See it, and you've found Punjab, located a few doors east.
Lunch costs five bucks. It is excellent. Lamb, chicken or vegetarian curry, hot or mild as you like. (Veteran Indian eaters know it takes a few visits before the chefs truly believe that when you say hotter than the fires of hell, you really mean hotter than the fires of hell. Once the wait staff says, "Oh my goodness, sir, even _I_ don't eat it that hot!" you will have arrived.)
Absolutely every item on this menu is a treasure. This is one of the rare Indian restaurants where diners may enthusiastically order and eat the seafood curries. Spectacular! Go native with a Kingfisher beer. Stay away from the wine. They have a formidable array of bottles, but those who have tried tend not to reorder.
Mr. CatCarouser picks some kind of vindaloo (finding the biryanis a tad dry), and orders extra hunks of Nan or potato bread to soak up the juices. Mrs. goes for the tandoori chicken tikka, moist and flavorful.
At night, figure on $15-20 per person. It's more than worth it; go once, return often.
The proprietors are Sikh; headresses, beards and all. Very formal; you may find them standoffish. Nope. Just polite. The room is very pleasant: booths on either side, white linen, nice china. Isn't the word 'pukka'?
Five bucks for lunch! It's like robbery!
Yen Yen
Outstanding Chinese. Inventive. Flavorful. Beautiful presentation. Lovely room. Everybody knows about Yen Yen. Northwest corner of Minuteman and northbound AIA.
North of Ron Jon's (you will have been mesmerized by its looming billboards for some time, then dazzled by its neon lights, and awed by its sand sculptures. At least, that's the plan), the Cocoa Beach Pier restaurant's Sunday brunch, and the Tokyo Steak House (sushi, too), are worth a nod. The former's over the ocean; dress up a bit. The latter's on AIA next to dunkin' donuts, and is close to a dive, but fun. If it's grease you crave, there is a Wafffe House, south of 520 on AIA. Their hash browns -- covered, smothered, scattered, chunked, and peppered -- may well be a late night CatCarouser's best friend.
Daniel's Motorcycle Cafe
This stylish cafe offers, among other treats, the closest thing to good pizza in Cocoa Beach. Their soups and sandwiches are flavorful and filling. Don't be put off by the unexpected ingredients. Try the seafood pizza for one, filled with crabmeat and other goodies. You'll thank me.
Yes, they do have a couple Indian motorcycles on the dining rom floor, one of which leaks oil. There is a large display of hot sauces for sale. One particular potboiler is named "the bomb'. Kevorkian could use it. The bomb is hotter than the surface of the sun which, I recall, is plenty hot. Do not buy one. Just nod and speak sagely about it.
Grease and bombs aside, this is yet another very clean restaurant. Lots of glass block, comfortable chairs, a nice diner counter. And leather Daniel's bras for sale, among other motorcycle aficionado accessories! Daytona Beach, an hour or so to the North, is something of a motorcyclists' mecca; hordes of bikers regularly rumble up and down the Coast Road, because once you've ridden on the beach at Daytona, there's not much else to do. So the motorcycle enthusiasts -- a term coined by Harley Davidson, by the eway -- spend most days day trippin'.
Daniel's is located on the ground floor of a blue-hued office building on the east side of AIA in Cape Canaveral, on the way to Port Canaveral (more on that in a moment). It is easy to miss. In fact, it took us six months to find it and I was looking, since their advertisements promised 'gourment pizza' .
Daniel's is right by the Cape Canaveral Post Office. So if your search fails, stop at the huge Speedway gas station to ask where the post office is. (Assuming locals know ... they aren't all rocket scientists....) Daniels is south of Speedway, on the east side of AIA.
Daniel's lunch is great, especially on Friday, when you can indulge in one or more of their vast stock of imported beers, or Monday, when you need some of the hair of the dog, perhaps. If you stop for lunch, afterwards head across the street (Columbia at AIA) to All About Hair for a $7 cut (guys). Say hi to Rosie and Christine, and maybe bring 'em a bowl of soup or a sandwich. They're swell.
Fancy something a bit fancier?
Mangroves
Right by Daniel's -- a bit south, on the west side of AIA, is Mangrove's, also in Cape Canaveral. Look for the sign for the natural foods grocery; Mangrove's in that group of shops.)
My rule of thumb is that when you see a baseball butt steak on the menu, order it. Mangroves has it. God it's good.
Mangroves has local art on the walls, and usually a local artist on stage, painting local art. On our last visit, the artists' little girl was playing more creatively than dad was painting, but I could be wrong. I can't draw stick people.
For the technoids among us (and I suspect that's almost everyone -- back in 1992, when I tried to register "zaphod" as my AOL screen name, "zaphod6892" was the lowest number available), Jennifer the wait person is both a geek and a major babe. Yes, she can discuss C++ as well as your Shiraz. Not that you'll remember. And yes, your napkin is probably stuck to your forehead as you come down with a serious, potentially fatal, case of AWS -- "Attractive Woman Syndrome," the bane of programmers everywhere.
I found the decor a bit schmaltzy, but the concrete palm trunks and other oddities rather grow on you, especially after a bottle or two from the reasonably priced, and rather good, wine list.
Eat anything on the menu. I won't claim it's Wolfgang Puck working the oven, but it is artful, fresh, and tasty. Figure $20-25 each plus wine. And tip Jennifer generously, especially if she solves that pesky memory leak.
Finally...
Port Canaveral
When we moved here, locals told us to 'try out the Port.' Huh? What port?
Turns out Port Canaveral -- just north of the city of Cape Canaveral, which is just north of Cocoa Beach -- is one of the busiest cruise ports in the country, albeit largely for the gambling cruises offered several times a day.
There is no easy way to get there. The main Port intersection is torn up, making way for a cloverleaf (no bypass jokes please). From the Bee Line (528), heading East, do not exit at the 401 ramp. Continue to the first stop light, where you need to slide left amongst the construction barriers. Turn left, then left again at the "T". Good luck!
Coming up AIA from Cocoa Beach, move to the right lane once the construction barricades appear. Turn right at the light, then left at the T.
Proceed North (like it matters), then follow the road to the right. Rusty's will loom.
Rusty's
This was the first place we visited at the Port. Mr. and Mrs. CatCarouser, and his mother in law. The waitresses (not wait staff), were wearing tight blue satin shorts and even tighter T-shirts. Rusty's is not what you would call clean, morally or hygenically. Plastic tableclothes. Booze-stained wood floors. The layer of buttery grease found in every restaurant that serves literal tons of shrimp and other shellfish..
Oh, great idea. Lap dance, Mom? (Surprisingly, that's not on the menu.)
But great food. Wahoo. Cobia.
You don't know what those are, do you? And you never will, except here and very few other places. In short, Wahoo and Cobia are the finest-tasting fish on this planet.
Wahoo is in the mackerel family, but has none of its cousin's greasy, oily, attributes. Served "steaked" -- which means the fish is cut into pieces perpendicular to the backbone -- Wahoo is firm enough to grill, and stalwart enough to stand up to Rusty's tasty "Montreal" and "jerked" presentations. Blackened is an option, too, but that requires a skill generally not present behind Rusty's grill.
If Wahoo is rather handsome, as mackerel go, Cobia may be the uglist fish on the planet, looking for all the world like an overstuffed channel catfish. This is not what you'd pick to eat upon visual inspection. But as a grilled fillet -- meaning the fish is pieced by cutting parallel to the backbone, and all skin removed -- Cobia is hard to beat.
Rusty's also has a raw bar, but the preparers are not particularly skilled at the art of oyster shucking. This is one of the toughest jobs around. It requires strength, stamina, and the ability to identify even the smallest imperfection in an oyster. There are all types of creeping crud caused by oysters contaminated by sewage and other human execrensces. If the shucker isn't skilled, you can get sick. People do.
So stick with the shrimp. Nice big Atlantic shrimp, caught right outside the Port, frequently. A half pound of peel 'n' eats will do nicely as an appetizer for two persons.
For the main course, here is the order of fish to order:
Wahoo. Cobia. Tuna. Grouper. Dolphin aka mahi-mahi. Get the tuna seared, and rare. If you're lucky enough to arrive at Rusty's during a fishing tournament, ask for a piece of whichever of the above fish have been brought in. Its fresh flavor will dazzle you.
They've got this thing called mozarella bread that is positively gross and delicious. Get more sauce on the side.
There's a full bar at Rusty's, and most everyone _is_ drunk or on the way to inebriation, which helps explain the general disarray of the place.
It's expensive, too. Figure $20-35 each, if you order a special fish., which seems a bit pricy for food served in plastic baskets, a roll of 'generic' paper towels on a post instead of napkins, and plastic cutlery.
Which is one of the reasons we mostly go to Grill's when we're at the Port.
Grills
A couple hundred yards east of Rusty's, Grill's has live music on weekends, a fabulous fish sandwich, and the most decrepit restrooms outside the Ozarks. Not to mention a leaky roof, food served in plastic baskets with plastic cutlery, and the occasional bird flying around the rafters.
But, Grill's does have its fish sandwich! Order one (under $8), with the fish of the day. If tuna's in, ask for it rare. (Sadly, there's rarely wahoo or cobia to be had here.)
Mrs. CatCarouser also orders these gross but delightful cheese fries. The fries are skin on. Darn they are good. I get fat just thinking of them. And instead of a beer, I'll chug a hard cider or lemonade. Ordering hint: if more than one hard (meaning alcoholic) lemonade is available, base your selection on the color of the ade. A deeper, richer, color is a more robust ade.
A bonus for Grills is that it's possible to get there by boat. Mooring slips are usually available right in front. Not so at Rusty's. (Yes, CatCarousers have a boat. And jetskis!)
Schoolies
This used to be a long rickety flight of stairs above a bait shop and marina warehouse. Very good fish sandwiches, especially the scallops. Grab a Bud and watch the boats chug in and out of the Port.
Schoolies just opened a big new restaurant a block away from the water. Now it offers a full menu, etc. I miss the old place. But the scallop sandwich remains heavenly.
For all these good eats, be sure to check the local papers and tourii fliers for coupons. Grills and Punjab regularly run $$ off coupons. Space Grill will give you a coupon for your next meal.
That's it, and we've covered the major Cocoa Beach (and environs) food groups: Cuban, Brazilian, Chinese, Punjabian, fish, butt steak..... And there are a few other places, like the Sunrise Cafe and Dino's, about which I hear good things.
But there are some foods you cannot find here. Right on the oceanfront, and is there a shrimp/spinach/bacon thin crust pizza to be found?
Heck, no! Even though half the names in the local phone book have a vowel on the end, pizza (or decent Italian generally) is just plain not available in Cocoa Beach, with or without shrimp or spinach. The best Italian is at Carrabas. _A chain_.
Let's not get started about Mexican cuisine. Around here, if it doesn't have a glop of avocado, it just ain't authentic.
This means I buy my pizzas at Pizzaria lo Spizzicolo and my burritos at La Pasada, both in Chicago, and fly 'em down here. A good excuse for a business trip. God help me, I have actually _eaten a chalupa_ since moving here!!!
Okay, the gripes are complete.
Using the recommendations above, anyone who comes for a week is covered! Some of the restaurants aren't in the phone book yet; if you're visiting, you can get numbers by dialing 321 (blastoff) 555-1212 in the US, or 411 from anywhere in Brevard County.
And don't let the state of sanitation at the Port dissuade you. The restaurants around here keep things clean where it counts, in the kitchen. Just stay away from the shellfish in months without an "R".
By the way, as I write, we're just ten minutes away from a shuttle launch. Cool!
Mongo the CatCarouser
