Vague thoughts......
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Thinking processes of the drunk and drunker.....
* A bus station is where a bus stops; a train station is where a train stops; on my desk I have a work station.
* If quitters never win and winners never quit , who came up with "Quit while you're ahead ?'"
* Older people read the Bible more often than younger people because they are cramming for their Finals.
* I thought about mothers feeding their babies with little spoons and forks so I wondered what Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?
* How much deeper would the oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
* If we are supposed to be here to help others , then what are the others here for ?
* Ever wonder what the real speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
* Light travels faster than sound , that's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
* Why is "abbreviation" such a long word ?
* Who invented alphabetical order ?
* Why is there only one Monopolies Commission ?
* What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an aeroplane?
* Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
* If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
* If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
* Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
* What do you call a male ladybug?
* When dog food has a "New and Improved Taste", who tests it?
* Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
* Why do they sterilise the needle for lethal injections?
* Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
* Why isn't "phonetic" spelled the way it sounds?
* Why are there Interstates in Hawaii?
* Why are there flotation devices under airplane seats instead of parachutes?
* Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?
* Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?
* How does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work?
* If the supermarket is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why does it have locks on the door?
* You know that indestructible black box that is used on aeroplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
* If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?
* If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
* If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
* Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called shipment, but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?
* Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
* A bus station is where a bus stops; a train station is where a train stops; on my desk I have a work station.
* If quitters never win and winners never quit , who came up with "Quit while you're ahead ?'"
* Older people read the Bible more often than younger people because they are cramming for their Finals.
* I thought about mothers feeding their babies with little spoons and forks so I wondered what Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?
* How much deeper would the oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
* If we are supposed to be here to help others , then what are the others here for ?
* Ever wonder what the real speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
* Light travels faster than sound , that's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
* Why is "abbreviation" such a long word ?
* Who invented alphabetical order ?
* Why is there only one Monopolies Commission ?
* What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an aeroplane?
* Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
* If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
* If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
* Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
* What do you call a male ladybug?
* When dog food has a "New and Improved Taste", who tests it?
* Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
* Why do they sterilise the needle for lethal injections?
* Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
* Why isn't "phonetic" spelled the way it sounds?
* Why are there Interstates in Hawaii?
* Why are there flotation devices under airplane seats instead of parachutes?
* Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?
* Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?
* How does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work?
* If the supermarket is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why does it have locks on the door?
* You know that indestructible black box that is used on aeroplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
* If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?
* If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
* If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
* Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called shipment, but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?
* Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
