If you hate road maps and have to find your way
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Road maps and other kinds of finding your way
All humans on earth you can divide into two groups: That ones, who can use road maps to find one's way, and all the other thousand of people, who start to sweat every time they see one, because they have to think on all the times they failed on using a road map. If you belong to the first group of humankind: Congratulations! You don't have to go on reading this entry, as you are ready for the wild, friendless world full of road maps.
If you belong for all this pitiable guys, don't panic! I have some really usable tips for you.
How can I find my way without a map?
Tip no. 1
You are in a car, alone, parking somewhere and with an useless map on your knees and you are shortly before doing something really stupid, like jumping out of you car and running yelling around? Don't do that. Other people would think you are mad and put you in a place, where you wouldn't get out very fast. Well, in that place, there wouldn't be any maps, either.
Solution no. 1
It's one of the easiest solution any way: Get out of your car, put that map into the garbage and cool down. Then go to anyone near you who looks like he could read maps or even knows the place you want to go to. Smile, be friendly and ask that guy for help! Good Luck!
Tip no. 2
Don't scream at useless maps. They can't hear you.
Solution no. 2
You did all the steps of solution no. 1? The boy/girl you asked looks very good? Here is your solution no. 2! You have to be a good actor, if this should go in the way you like.
Step 1:
Try to look very harmless.
Step 2:
Make sure your opposite thinks you can't follow his/her explanations of the way you have to take.
Step 3:
Try to find out the place your opposite wants to get to, without letting him/her know what you're planning.
Step 4:
Change your mind and let your opposite know, that you don't want to go to the place you first mentioned. Your real destination is just the place he/she wants to go to, too. What a coincidence! Say, that you are that kind, that you offer him/her to drive with you in your car. Then he/she can show you the way, you can drive him/her home, and all what's following then lies just in your hands!
Tip no. 3:
If you are male: Don't cry because of that stupid map! Real men don't cry.
If you are female: Don't cry because of that stupid map! Your make-up could run away.
Solution no. 3:
Look at the street-name signs, stupid! Then look at your map again! Where's that street in your map? Where's your destination? Now, in which way do you have to drive????
Tip no. 4:
Stop driving when you're going to look on a map. If you don't listen, the only place that could bring you to, is an undertaker.
Solution no 4:
Are you sure you're holding the map the right way? Can you read the text? No? Turn the map over 90°. Can you read it now? No? Turn it over again please. Can you read it NOW? NO?????? Take one of the other solutions.
Enlargements to my entry are always wanted.
All humans on earth you can divide into two groups: That ones, who can use road maps to find one's way, and all the other thousand of people, who start to sweat every time they see one, because they have to think on all the times they failed on using a road map. If you belong to the first group of humankind: Congratulations! You don't have to go on reading this entry, as you are ready for the wild, friendless world full of road maps.
If you belong for all this pitiable guys, don't panic! I have some really usable tips for you.
How can I find my way without a map?
Tip no. 1
You are in a car, alone, parking somewhere and with an useless map on your knees and you are shortly before doing something really stupid, like jumping out of you car and running yelling around? Don't do that. Other people would think you are mad and put you in a place, where you wouldn't get out very fast. Well, in that place, there wouldn't be any maps, either.
Solution no. 1
It's one of the easiest solution any way: Get out of your car, put that map into the garbage and cool down. Then go to anyone near you who looks like he could read maps or even knows the place you want to go to. Smile, be friendly and ask that guy for help! Good Luck!
Tip no. 2
Don't scream at useless maps. They can't hear you.
Solution no. 2
You did all the steps of solution no. 1? The boy/girl you asked looks very good? Here is your solution no. 2! You have to be a good actor, if this should go in the way you like.
Step 1:
Try to look very harmless.
Step 2:
Make sure your opposite thinks you can't follow his/her explanations of the way you have to take.
Step 3:
Try to find out the place your opposite wants to get to, without letting him/her know what you're planning.
Step 4:
Change your mind and let your opposite know, that you don't want to go to the place you first mentioned. Your real destination is just the place he/she wants to go to, too. What a coincidence! Say, that you are that kind, that you offer him/her to drive with you in your car. Then he/she can show you the way, you can drive him/her home, and all what's following then lies just in your hands!
Tip no. 3:
If you are male: Don't cry because of that stupid map! Real men don't cry.
If you are female: Don't cry because of that stupid map! Your make-up could run away.
Solution no. 3:
Look at the street-name signs, stupid! Then look at your map again! Where's that street in your map? Where's your destination? Now, in which way do you have to drive????
Tip no. 4:
Stop driving when you're going to look on a map. If you don't listen, the only place that could bring you to, is an undertaker.
Solution no 4:
Are you sure you're holding the map the right way? Can you read the text? No? Turn the map over 90°. Can you read it now? No? Turn it over again please. Can you read it NOW? NO?????? Take one of the other solutions.
Enlargements to my entry are always wanted.
