“We should have realised a bit sooner
We should all hold up our hands and admit
That we should have spotted the omens
Like when Death and Pestilence gave up and quit
The hail of frogs, the plague of locusts
Was someone trying to send us a sign?
Mice threw themselves into traps, did we notice?
As this interviewee sat down to dine
Interview day wasn’t much better
Endless black rain hammering down
Did no-one else look out the window
To see the plague-ridden rats ship out of town?
The vampires took up sunbathing
The bogey-man fled out the door
Famine made a run for the border
Rapidly followed by War
All the birds stopped their singing
During this guy’s tour of the site
And was that a church bell I heard ringing
As the surprise eclipse blotted out all the light?
Dismissive and rude to the staff here
Talked complete drivel all day
Kept asking about the size of his office
And how much we were willing to pay
Clearly not a team player
Track record of persecuting the meek
And did anyone notice his T-shirt
With the slogan of “Trample the Weak”?
In summary, an outstanding candidate
Exactly the type of manager we need
This is quite a coup for the company
And so what if he can’t actually read.
Well done everyone, thanks for your input
Exactly the calibre of manager we seek
I’m sure he’ll feel right at home here
Could he start as soon as next week?”