Morecambe.
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
To put it bluntly Morecambe is a dump. It's dead, it's as dead as a parrot - it has ceased to be.
I've just moved north and someone suggested looking at the local sights. Well I jumped at the chance......well sort of hopped at the cha....well perhaps walked interestingly towards the possibility of the chance.
When I got there I was just in time for the switching on of the illuminations- it was a string of fairy lights hung along the street lamps. And one of the bulbs must have gone because half of the lights didn't work.
OK so this isn't Blackpool, so what. As long as it has a beach then it's fine, I mean what sort of seaside resort doesn't have a beach - this sort of seaside resort that's what. Instead of beach there are huge bays of rocks, and not the naturally occurring type either- building site lumps of rock. Apparently the sea has washed the beach away, so in order to stop this from happening the council think that these rocks will keep the sand in. Sand in, everything else out.
The council have also been spending money on the promenade along the "beach". Now that looked quite nice, but the shops and stalls along the promenade are all based on what I thought to be a very peculiar theme, and that theme is spaghetti westerns. I mean, the wild north-west just doesn't have the same ring to it does it!
After all that I was hungry so I decided to have the traditional seaside fish 'n' chips. But there were only two places open, and one of them seemed to charge a pound a chip. Then I went home.
To be fair to Morecambe it was just after peak time and in the evening too. But apparently even the locals think it's a dump and only go for the bowling.
I've just moved north and someone suggested looking at the local sights. Well I jumped at the chance......well sort of hopped at the cha....well perhaps walked interestingly towards the possibility of the chance.
When I got there I was just in time for the switching on of the illuminations- it was a string of fairy lights hung along the street lamps. And one of the bulbs must have gone because half of the lights didn't work.
OK so this isn't Blackpool, so what. As long as it has a beach then it's fine, I mean what sort of seaside resort doesn't have a beach - this sort of seaside resort that's what. Instead of beach there are huge bays of rocks, and not the naturally occurring type either- building site lumps of rock. Apparently the sea has washed the beach away, so in order to stop this from happening the council think that these rocks will keep the sand in. Sand in, everything else out.
The council have also been spending money on the promenade along the "beach". Now that looked quite nice, but the shops and stalls along the promenade are all based on what I thought to be a very peculiar theme, and that theme is spaghetti westerns. I mean, the wild north-west just doesn't have the same ring to it does it!
After all that I was hungry so I decided to have the traditional seaside fish 'n' chips. But there were only two places open, and one of them seemed to charge a pound a chip. Then I went home.
To be fair to Morecambe it was just after peak time and in the evening too. But apparently even the locals think it's a dump and only go for the bowling.
