The H2G2 Guardian Angels
Created | Updated Oct 20, 2010
<ARTICLE>
<SUBJECT>H2G2 Guardian Angels...</SUBJECT>
<HTML><BODY>
<TABLE>
<TABLE BACKGROUND= [broken link] "http://homestead.deja.com/user.matkershaw/files/Cloud2.gif" TABLE BORDER=5 WIDTH=85% CELLPADDING=10 >
<TR><TD>
<CENTER>
<IMG SRC=[broken link]"http://homestead.deja.com/user.matkershaw/files/guardian2.gif" WIDTH=380><P>
<P>
<IMG SRC=[broken link]"http://homestead.deja.com/user.matkershaw/files/Flowers1.gif" WIDTH=400><P>
<IMG SRC=[broken link]"http://homestead.deja.com/user.matkershaw/files/GA.jpg" HEIGHT=150 WIDTH=150 BORDER=5><P></CENTER>
<SCRIPT>
<!--
document.linkColor="orange";
document.alinkColor="red";
document.vlinkColor="pink";
//-->
</SCRIPT>
<FONT FACE="Arial">
<DL>
<DD><A HREF="#Section1">1. So What Are The Angels All About...</A>
<DD><A HREF="#Section2">2. The Registry Of Angels...</A>
<DD><A HREF="#Section3">3. How Do I Become An Angel...</A>
<DD><A HREF="#Section4">4. Angel Resources Page...</A>
</DL>
<HR>
<A NAME="Section1"><FONT SIZE=4; FONT COLOR=#FF0000>1. So What Are The Angels All About...</A><P><FONT SIZE=3; FONT COLOR=#0000FF>
The Angels are a collective of pious souls, who are here to help out newbies who have recently logged-on at H2G2. We feel duty bound to help you through your early navigation of the wonderful possibilities that H2G2 offers. As with most groups in society, a number of cliques & in-jokes are cultivated, we hope we can help you understand the locals. <P>
Well, most of them...<P>
The Angels have been 'called' to help the H2G2 community. In the quest for knowledge, friendship & in the general pursuit of happiness. So, quiet a roving brief you might say...<P>
So if you simply want to know where are the happening places at H2G2, or you have just signed-up and your feeling a little lonely & left out of things. The Angels can help you get on the right road heading to Happyville.<P>
If you have any general questions about Life, the Universe & Everything. I’m sure the Angels will get you across some of the hard-yards, or at least point you in the general direction of the minefield. ;-) <P>
If you want advice regarding finding resources for your homepage, I’m sure the Angels will give you help finding the files, finding a place to ‘dump’ your files and how to manipulate them. They can render you all the basic or advanced computing advice you need. So you can fast track your way towards your very first web-page ! <P>
Who knows, if you ask nicely, you might even end up with your own Guardian Angel... <P>
So, don’t be shy. The Angels will show you the way...<P>
You may also like to take a look at our new...<P>
<CENTER><FONT SIZE=5><A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/A450172">NEW USER'S GUIDE</A><BR/>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/A352667"><IMG SRC=[broken link]"http://homestead.deja.com/user.matkershaw/files/Angel.gif" BORDER=10></A><P></CENTER>
<FONT COLOR=#FF00FF; FONT SIZE=4><CENTER>
If you want to ask the Angels Questions<BR/>
<FONT SIZE=2><A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/F55445?thread=81032&latest=1">CLICK HERE</A><BR/>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/F55445?thread=81032&latest=1"><IMG SRC="http://www2.h2g2.com/images/notfound.gif"></A>
<P><P><FONT SIZE=4>
If you would like to have your very own Guardian Angel<BR/><FONT SIZE=6>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/F55445?thread=81029&latest=1">CLICK HERE</A><P></CENTER>
<IMG SRC=[broken link]"http://homestead.deja.com/user.matkershaw/files/Flowers1.gif" WIDTH=400><P>
<A NAME="Section2"><FONT SIZE=4; FONT COLOR=#FF0000>2. The Registry Of Angels...</A>
<FONT SIZE=3; FONT COLOR=#0000FF><P>
You will probably recognise the Angels by their Black Clothes, Dark Shades & White Wings. You might even have involuntarily swooned as one of them went past, don't worry. It's to be expected...<P>
<FONT COLOR=#FF00FF<U>Here are the Saints, who are willing to render you assistance...</U><P><FONT COLOR=#0000FF>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U116730">Saint Zax </A> - Patron Saint of Alcoholic Indulgence <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U33706">Saint Ioreth </A> - Patron Saint of Happy Accidents <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U117338">Saint Jeltz </A> - Patron Saint of Poetic License <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U118119">Saint Benji </A> - Patron Saint of the Barking Mad <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U109641">Saint Tweetie </A> - Patron Saint of Impossible Escapes <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U81931">Saint "Asteroid" Lil </A> - Patron Saint of Graphic Detail <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U96026">Saint Quorthon </A> - Patron Saint of Furry Metal <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U107594">Saint Thistle </A> - Patron Saint of Prickly Personalities <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U108118">Saint Desinagro </A> - Patron Saint of Double Entendrés <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U100945">Saint Cheese </A> - Patron Saint of Long Lunches <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U50758">Saint Lisa </A> - Patron Saint of Unrequited Love <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U116798">Saint Cloughie </A> - Patron Saint of Flying Pigs <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U109504">Saint 'Evil' Dan </A> - Patron Saint of Weekendism <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U113301">Saint (Doctor) John </A> - Patron Saint of the Chemically Challenged <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U91211">Saint Cutlery </A> - Patron Saint of Cutting Remarks <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U116348">Saint KoRn BaLl </A> - Patron Saint of Corny Remarks <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U55075">Saint Irving Washington </A> - Patron Saint of the Highly Strung <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U25551">Saint Bruce </A> - Patron Saint of the Pixelly Challenged <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U99947">Saint Sporkulious Eglon </A> - Patron Saint of Creative Truth's <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U108409">Saint Justin </A> - Patron Saint of Paper-Cuts <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U38390">Saint Technicolor Yawn </A> - Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U37132">Saint Paperdoll </A> - Patron Saint of the Painfully Shy <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U114004">Saint Possum </A> - Patron Saint of Creatures of the Night <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U55795">Saint Jester </A> - Patron Saint of Village Idiots <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U91961">Saint 'Nameless' </A> - Patron Saint of Brevity <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U115142">Saint Taco-Chako </A> - Patron Saint of Mixed Metaphors <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U115769">Saint 'Silent' Bob </A> - Patron Saint of the Silent Majority <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U129266">Saint Halo </A> - Patron Saint of the Lucky Charms <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U121753">Saint Moo Juice </A> - Patron Saint of Country Folk <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U120129">Saint John (the Rather Ordinary) </A> - Patron Saint of the Technologically Frustrated <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U103051">Saint William Jenkins </A> - Patron Saint of Tea <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U113174">Saint Canadian Girl </A> - Patron Saint of Frogs <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U132763">Saint Manxie </A> - Patron Saint of Sociable Hermits <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U114221">Saint Chrome101 </A> - Patron Saint of Bad Dancing <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U137089">Saint Fashion Cat </A> - Patron Saint of Indolent Students <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U132228">Saint Jimmiejaz </A> - Patron Saint of Nadsat Fashion <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U135575">Saint Girleight </A> - Patron Saint of the Accident Prone <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U112331">Saint "Capt." Al Boy </A> - Patron Saint of Missing Links <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U133060">Saint Courtney </A> - Patron Saint of Social Embarrassment <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U139455">Saint Clelba </A> - Patron Saint of Chocolate Cats <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U140459">Saint Bob of Bobsville </A> - Patron Saint of Original Spelling <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U128652">Saint Galaxy Babe </A> - Patron Saint of Tantrums <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U135793">Saint "Alias" </A> - Patron Saint of Insignificant Coincidences <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U139456">Saint Wampus </A> - Patron Saint of Apathy <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U140051">Saint (Mr.) Indifferent </A> - Patron Saint of Uncertainty <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U106773">Saint Alicat </A> - Patron Saint of Good Taste <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U143346">Saint Zoe </A> - Patron Saint of Multiple Personalities <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U129889">Saint Nim the Cat </A> - Patron Saint of Intricate Complexes <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U143907">Saint M'niki </A> - Patron Saint of Anonymous Artists <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U145189">Saint Pletch </A> - Patron Saint of Semi-Lost Causes <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U124956">Saint Kasia </A> - Patron Saint of Syncopation <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U145043">Saint Lys </A> - Patron Saint of Asylum Seekers <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U115764">Saint Don Alfredo </A> - Patron Saint of Family Business <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U95192">Saint Thomas </A> - Patron Saint of Small Shiny Things <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U99492">Saint Jax Armani </A> - Patron Saint of the Wholly Unremarkable <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U100633">Saint Lou Lou </A> - Patron Saint of Triplets <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U132526">Saint Angelwings </A> - Patron Saint of Blue Skies <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U145912">Saint Amanda Panda </A> - Patron Saint of Novel Ideas <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U147055">Saint Lizard Prince (Court of the Lizard King) </A> - Patron Saint of Dead Rock Stars <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U147663">Saint Tide </A> - Patron Saint of Snack Foods & Small Animals <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U145245">Saint Triv </A> - Patron Saint of Merry-Go-Rounds <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U139689">Saint Sea </A> - Patron Saint of the Easily Amused <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U115656">Saint Agony Aunt </A> - Patron Saint of Busy Bodies <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U139239">Saint Kes </A> - Patron Saint of Lost Poetry <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U124084">Saint Arutha </A> - Patron Saint of Personal Magnetism <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U103536">Saint Greedyman </A> - Patron Saint of Sarcasm <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U135628">Saint Titania </A> - Patron Saint of Mythical Characters <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U149453">Saint Vince </A> - Patron Saint of the Indecisive & Nyphomaniacs <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U48898">Saint LePerdyMonkee </A> - Patron Saint of the Selectively Ignored <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U98816">Saint Dragonfly </A> - Patron Saint of Muses <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U146196">Saint Redfish </A> - Patron Saint of Aquatic Life <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U146289">Saint Jezzrian </A> - Patron Saint of Dubious Reasoning <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U146591">Saint Salam Saberhagen </A> - Patron Saint of Indomitable Spirits <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U148120">Saint Egon </A> - Patron Saint of Vodka <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U150867">Saint Jamazon </A> - Patron Saint of the Hyperactive <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U150777">Saint Dargent </A> - Patron Saint of Sticky Affairs <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U100796">Saint Wilson Brown Bear </A> - Patron Saint of the Unbearably Depressed <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U54754">Saint Pegasus </A> - Patron Saint of Procrastination <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U152725">Saint Lord Sin </A> - Patron Saint of White Lies <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U152281">Saint Seven Of Nine </A> - Patron Saint of Empathy <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U146152">Saint Mixed Nuts </A> - Patron Saint of Nutty Behaviour <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U153857">Saint Aunt B '93 </A> - Patron Saint of Painted Dolls <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U1137209">Saint JFSJBB </A> - Patron Saint of Asymmetric Hydrochronology <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U149781">Saint Hezher </A> - Patron Saint of Chocoholics <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U43646">Saint Jenny & Fred the Cheese </A> - Patron Saint of the Fantastically Creative <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U152745">Saint Arthur Dentist </A> - Patron Saint of Novocaine <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U142501">Saint Matt </A> - Patron Saint of Random Probability <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U144092">Saint Blue </A> - Patron Saint of the Lonely & Blue <P>
<A NAME="Section3"><FONT SIZE=4; FONT COLOR=#FF0000>3. How Do I Become An Angel...</A><FONT SIZE=3; FONT COLOR=#0000FF><P>
Have you ever watched Wings of Desire and thought, ‘I could do that’. Have you ever felt the need to contribute to society by simply looking cool ? Have you ever felt the need to live your life on a wing & a prayer ?<P>
Well, why not become a H2G2 Guardian Angel !<P>
We are looking for people who want to help out the H2G2 community, but are perhaps unable to take on the formal role & demands of an ACE.<P>
So, if you think that you would like to help, and of course your pious enough ;-) , please read on... <P>
* Back to the Spiel * <P>
Due to a shortfall in worthy applicants, I have been forced to delve into the realm of the living, to recruit souls for the important task of being Guardian Angels...<P>
Here is just a list of some of the highly valued accessories a newly recruited Guardian Angel receives :-) <P>
° An Access All Areas Pass to Heaven<BR/>
° A personally signed Autograph from GOD - almighty<BR/>
° The new jet black longcoat, trousers and shirt, to really standout (if milling in the background weren’t the height in ‘couldn’t-care-less’ sheik)<BR/>
° Jet Black Paranormal Specs - For seeing how BLACK peoples souls are.<BR/>
° A set of beautifully sculptured white wings, personally designed by Jean Paul Gaultier.<BR/>
° Membership to the highly sort after ‘Wings Club’<BR/>
° Oh, and immortality...<P>
So, what does a newly recruited Guardian Angel do ?<P>
Bring joy & happiness to the world... Usually though, they tend to find someone in need, who is after information, help or comfort. Generally, showing them around the great big, wide cosmos known as H2G2, and the beyond...<P>
Not just anybody can walk in off the street, and by that evening, be walking around with a fashionable set of wings. I have lined up a series of probing questions, to tax the very essence of your humanity...<P>
If you saw a road accident, would you ?<P>
a) Giggle.<BR/>
b) Take photos and/or hire a video camera.<BR/>
c) Help.<P>
If someone confides that they are an Atheist, what would you do ?<P>
a) Start a Holy War.<BR/>
b) Consider taking them off your Christmas card list (...for what’s it really to them).<BR/>
c) Show some understanding.<BR/>
<P>
If you were to choose between saving the life of Douglas Adams and a small puppy, from falling off a cliff, would you ?<P>
a) Procrastinate, as they fell to their doom. <BR/>
b) Grab the authors hand and say ‘Aren’t you the guy who wrote Mostly Harmless’, before releasing his hand, whilst maniacally laughing.<BR/>
c) Save the puppy.<P>
If you could think of a way of bringing eternally world peace ?<P>
a) Would you hold the world to ransom, by offering to sell the information at an exorbitant price.<BR/>
b) Skip Town on an alien spacecraft, just to spite the rest of humanity.<BR/>
c) Seek medical help.<P>
If you won the lottery, would you ?<P>
a) Buy 8/10th’s of the worlds water supply, and bump the price up to $5 a litre.<BR/>
b) Become a professional Miser.<BR/>
c) Give a large sum of your money to the ‘Bankrupt Millionaires Charity’, so they need not suffer the indignity of eating No-Name brand caviar.<P>
If you have answered C to any of the above, you are worthy of joining our ranks...<P>
<A NAME="Section4"><FONT SIZE=4; FONT COLOR=#FF0000>4. Angel Resources Page...</A><FONT SIZE=3; FONT COLOR=#0000FF><P>
Archangel Big 'Evil' Dan is continually creating handy new snippets of code that you might like to add to your homepage (such as the handy drop-down menu containing links to all the other saints & code for including the GA logo on your page). So why not venture over to the Angel's Resource Page... <A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/A450145">HERE...</A><P>
<FONT SIZE=4; FONT COLOR=#000000>
<CENTER>If you would like to help others, why not sign up <BR/>
<FONT SIZE=6>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/F55445?thread=81031&latest=1">HERE</A><P></CENTER>
<IMG SRC=[broken link]"http://homestead.deja.com/user.matkershaw/files/Flowers1.gif" WIDTH=400><CENTER><P>
</TD></TR></TABLE>
</BODY>
</HTML>
</ARTICLE>
<SUBJECT>H2G2 Guardian Angels...</SUBJECT>
<HTML><BODY>
<TABLE>
<TABLE BACKGROUND= [broken link] "http://homestead.deja.com/user.matkershaw/files/Cloud2.gif" TABLE BORDER=5 WIDTH=85% CELLPADDING=10 >
<TR><TD>
<CENTER>
<IMG SRC=[broken link]"http://homestead.deja.com/user.matkershaw/files/guardian2.gif" WIDTH=380><P>
<P>
<IMG SRC=[broken link]"http://homestead.deja.com/user.matkershaw/files/Flowers1.gif" WIDTH=400><P>
<IMG SRC=[broken link]"http://homestead.deja.com/user.matkershaw/files/GA.jpg" HEIGHT=150 WIDTH=150 BORDER=5><P></CENTER>
<SCRIPT>
<!--
document.linkColor="orange";
document.alinkColor="red";
document.vlinkColor="pink";
//-->
</SCRIPT>
<FONT FACE="Arial">
<DL>
<DD><A HREF="#Section1">1. So What Are The Angels All About...</A>
<DD><A HREF="#Section2">2. The Registry Of Angels...</A>
<DD><A HREF="#Section3">3. How Do I Become An Angel...</A>
<DD><A HREF="#Section4">4. Angel Resources Page...</A>
</DL>
<HR>
<A NAME="Section1"><FONT SIZE=4; FONT COLOR=#FF0000>1. So What Are The Angels All About...</A><P><FONT SIZE=3; FONT COLOR=#0000FF>
The Angels are a collective of pious souls, who are here to help out newbies who have recently logged-on at H2G2. We feel duty bound to help you through your early navigation of the wonderful possibilities that H2G2 offers. As with most groups in society, a number of cliques & in-jokes are cultivated, we hope we can help you understand the locals. <P>
Well, most of them...<P>
The Angels have been 'called' to help the H2G2 community. In the quest for knowledge, friendship & in the general pursuit of happiness. So, quiet a roving brief you might say...<P>
So if you simply want to know where are the happening places at H2G2, or you have just signed-up and your feeling a little lonely & left out of things. The Angels can help you get on the right road heading to Happyville.<P>
If you have any general questions about Life, the Universe & Everything. I’m sure the Angels will get you across some of the hard-yards, or at least point you in the general direction of the minefield. ;-) <P>
If you want advice regarding finding resources for your homepage, I’m sure the Angels will give you help finding the files, finding a place to ‘dump’ your files and how to manipulate them. They can render you all the basic or advanced computing advice you need. So you can fast track your way towards your very first web-page ! <P>
Who knows, if you ask nicely, you might even end up with your own Guardian Angel... <P>
So, don’t be shy. The Angels will show you the way...<P>
You may also like to take a look at our new...<P>
<CENTER><FONT SIZE=5><A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/A450172">NEW USER'S GUIDE</A><BR/>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/A352667"><IMG SRC=[broken link]"http://homestead.deja.com/user.matkershaw/files/Angel.gif" BORDER=10></A><P></CENTER>
<FONT COLOR=#FF00FF; FONT SIZE=4><CENTER>
If you want to ask the Angels Questions<BR/>
<FONT SIZE=2><A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/F55445?thread=81032&latest=1">CLICK HERE</A><BR/>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/F55445?thread=81032&latest=1"><IMG SRC="http://www2.h2g2.com/images/notfound.gif"></A>
<P><P><FONT SIZE=4>
If you would like to have your very own Guardian Angel<BR/><FONT SIZE=6>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/F55445?thread=81029&latest=1">CLICK HERE</A><P></CENTER>
<IMG SRC=[broken link]"http://homestead.deja.com/user.matkershaw/files/Flowers1.gif" WIDTH=400><P>
<A NAME="Section2"><FONT SIZE=4; FONT COLOR=#FF0000>2. The Registry Of Angels...</A>
<FONT SIZE=3; FONT COLOR=#0000FF><P>
You will probably recognise the Angels by their Black Clothes, Dark Shades & White Wings. You might even have involuntarily swooned as one of them went past, don't worry. It's to be expected...<P>
<FONT COLOR=#FF00FF<U>Here are the Saints, who are willing to render you assistance...</U><P><FONT COLOR=#0000FF>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U116730">Saint Zax </A> - Patron Saint of Alcoholic Indulgence <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U33706">Saint Ioreth </A> - Patron Saint of Happy Accidents <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U117338">Saint Jeltz </A> - Patron Saint of Poetic License <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U118119">Saint Benji </A> - Patron Saint of the Barking Mad <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U109641">Saint Tweetie </A> - Patron Saint of Impossible Escapes <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U81931">Saint "Asteroid" Lil </A> - Patron Saint of Graphic Detail <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U96026">Saint Quorthon </A> - Patron Saint of Furry Metal <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U107594">Saint Thistle </A> - Patron Saint of Prickly Personalities <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U108118">Saint Desinagro </A> - Patron Saint of Double Entendrés <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U100945">Saint Cheese </A> - Patron Saint of Long Lunches <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U50758">Saint Lisa </A> - Patron Saint of Unrequited Love <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U116798">Saint Cloughie </A> - Patron Saint of Flying Pigs <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U109504">Saint 'Evil' Dan </A> - Patron Saint of Weekendism <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U113301">Saint (Doctor) John </A> - Patron Saint of the Chemically Challenged <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U91211">Saint Cutlery </A> - Patron Saint of Cutting Remarks <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U116348">Saint KoRn BaLl </A> - Patron Saint of Corny Remarks <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U55075">Saint Irving Washington </A> - Patron Saint of the Highly Strung <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U25551">Saint Bruce </A> - Patron Saint of the Pixelly Challenged <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U99947">Saint Sporkulious Eglon </A> - Patron Saint of Creative Truth's <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U108409">Saint Justin </A> - Patron Saint of Paper-Cuts <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U38390">Saint Technicolor Yawn </A> - Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U37132">Saint Paperdoll </A> - Patron Saint of the Painfully Shy <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U114004">Saint Possum </A> - Patron Saint of Creatures of the Night <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U55795">Saint Jester </A> - Patron Saint of Village Idiots <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U91961">Saint 'Nameless' </A> - Patron Saint of Brevity <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U115142">Saint Taco-Chako </A> - Patron Saint of Mixed Metaphors <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U115769">Saint 'Silent' Bob </A> - Patron Saint of the Silent Majority <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U129266">Saint Halo </A> - Patron Saint of the Lucky Charms <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U121753">Saint Moo Juice </A> - Patron Saint of Country Folk <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U120129">Saint John (the Rather Ordinary) </A> - Patron Saint of the Technologically Frustrated <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U103051">Saint William Jenkins </A> - Patron Saint of Tea <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U113174">Saint Canadian Girl </A> - Patron Saint of Frogs <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U132763">Saint Manxie </A> - Patron Saint of Sociable Hermits <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U114221">Saint Chrome101 </A> - Patron Saint of Bad Dancing <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U137089">Saint Fashion Cat </A> - Patron Saint of Indolent Students <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U132228">Saint Jimmiejaz </A> - Patron Saint of Nadsat Fashion <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U135575">Saint Girleight </A> - Patron Saint of the Accident Prone <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U112331">Saint "Capt." Al Boy </A> - Patron Saint of Missing Links <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U133060">Saint Courtney </A> - Patron Saint of Social Embarrassment <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U139455">Saint Clelba </A> - Patron Saint of Chocolate Cats <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U140459">Saint Bob of Bobsville </A> - Patron Saint of Original Spelling <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U128652">Saint Galaxy Babe </A> - Patron Saint of Tantrums <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U135793">Saint "Alias" </A> - Patron Saint of Insignificant Coincidences <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U139456">Saint Wampus </A> - Patron Saint of Apathy <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U140051">Saint (Mr.) Indifferent </A> - Patron Saint of Uncertainty <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U106773">Saint Alicat </A> - Patron Saint of Good Taste <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U143346">Saint Zoe </A> - Patron Saint of Multiple Personalities <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U129889">Saint Nim the Cat </A> - Patron Saint of Intricate Complexes <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U143907">Saint M'niki </A> - Patron Saint of Anonymous Artists <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U145189">Saint Pletch </A> - Patron Saint of Semi-Lost Causes <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U124956">Saint Kasia </A> - Patron Saint of Syncopation <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U145043">Saint Lys </A> - Patron Saint of Asylum Seekers <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U115764">Saint Don Alfredo </A> - Patron Saint of Family Business <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U95192">Saint Thomas </A> - Patron Saint of Small Shiny Things <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U99492">Saint Jax Armani </A> - Patron Saint of the Wholly Unremarkable <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U100633">Saint Lou Lou </A> - Patron Saint of Triplets <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U132526">Saint Angelwings </A> - Patron Saint of Blue Skies <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U145912">Saint Amanda Panda </A> - Patron Saint of Novel Ideas <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U147055">Saint Lizard Prince (Court of the Lizard King) </A> - Patron Saint of Dead Rock Stars <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U147663">Saint Tide </A> - Patron Saint of Snack Foods & Small Animals <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U145245">Saint Triv </A> - Patron Saint of Merry-Go-Rounds <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U139689">Saint Sea </A> - Patron Saint of the Easily Amused <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U115656">Saint Agony Aunt </A> - Patron Saint of Busy Bodies <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U139239">Saint Kes </A> - Patron Saint of Lost Poetry <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U124084">Saint Arutha </A> - Patron Saint of Personal Magnetism <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U103536">Saint Greedyman </A> - Patron Saint of Sarcasm <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U135628">Saint Titania </A> - Patron Saint of Mythical Characters <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U149453">Saint Vince </A> - Patron Saint of the Indecisive & Nyphomaniacs <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U48898">Saint LePerdyMonkee </A> - Patron Saint of the Selectively Ignored <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U98816">Saint Dragonfly </A> - Patron Saint of Muses <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U146196">Saint Redfish </A> - Patron Saint of Aquatic Life <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U146289">Saint Jezzrian </A> - Patron Saint of Dubious Reasoning <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U146591">Saint Salam Saberhagen </A> - Patron Saint of Indomitable Spirits <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U148120">Saint Egon </A> - Patron Saint of Vodka <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U150867">Saint Jamazon </A> - Patron Saint of the Hyperactive <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U150777">Saint Dargent </A> - Patron Saint of Sticky Affairs <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U100796">Saint Wilson Brown Bear </A> - Patron Saint of the Unbearably Depressed <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U54754">Saint Pegasus </A> - Patron Saint of Procrastination <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U152725">Saint Lord Sin </A> - Patron Saint of White Lies <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U152281">Saint Seven Of Nine </A> - Patron Saint of Empathy <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U146152">Saint Mixed Nuts </A> - Patron Saint of Nutty Behaviour <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U153857">Saint Aunt B '93 </A> - Patron Saint of Painted Dolls <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U1137209">Saint JFSJBB </A> - Patron Saint of Asymmetric Hydrochronology <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U149781">Saint Hezher </A> - Patron Saint of Chocoholics <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U43646">Saint Jenny & Fred the Cheese </A> - Patron Saint of the Fantastically Creative <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U152745">Saint Arthur Dentist </A> - Patron Saint of Novocaine <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U142501">Saint Matt </A> - Patron Saint of Random Probability <P>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/U144092">Saint Blue </A> - Patron Saint of the Lonely & Blue <P>
<A NAME="Section3"><FONT SIZE=4; FONT COLOR=#FF0000>3. How Do I Become An Angel...</A><FONT SIZE=3; FONT COLOR=#0000FF><P>
Have you ever watched Wings of Desire and thought, ‘I could do that’. Have you ever felt the need to contribute to society by simply looking cool ? Have you ever felt the need to live your life on a wing & a prayer ?<P>
Well, why not become a H2G2 Guardian Angel !<P>
We are looking for people who want to help out the H2G2 community, but are perhaps unable to take on the formal role & demands of an ACE.<P>
So, if you think that you would like to help, and of course your pious enough ;-) , please read on... <P>
* Back to the Spiel * <P>
Due to a shortfall in worthy applicants, I have been forced to delve into the realm of the living, to recruit souls for the important task of being Guardian Angels...<P>
Here is just a list of some of the highly valued accessories a newly recruited Guardian Angel receives :-) <P>
° An Access All Areas Pass to Heaven<BR/>
° A personally signed Autograph from GOD - almighty<BR/>
° The new jet black longcoat, trousers and shirt, to really standout (if milling in the background weren’t the height in ‘couldn’t-care-less’ sheik)<BR/>
° Jet Black Paranormal Specs - For seeing how BLACK peoples souls are.<BR/>
° A set of beautifully sculptured white wings, personally designed by Jean Paul Gaultier.<BR/>
° Membership to the highly sort after ‘Wings Club’<BR/>
° Oh, and immortality...<P>
So, what does a newly recruited Guardian Angel do ?<P>
Bring joy & happiness to the world... Usually though, they tend to find someone in need, who is after information, help or comfort. Generally, showing them around the great big, wide cosmos known as H2G2, and the beyond...<P>
Not just anybody can walk in off the street, and by that evening, be walking around with a fashionable set of wings. I have lined up a series of probing questions, to tax the very essence of your humanity...<P>
If you saw a road accident, would you ?<P>
a) Giggle.<BR/>
b) Take photos and/or hire a video camera.<BR/>
c) Help.<P>
If someone confides that they are an Atheist, what would you do ?<P>
a) Start a Holy War.<BR/>
b) Consider taking them off your Christmas card list (...for what’s it really to them).<BR/>
c) Show some understanding.<BR/>
<P>
If you were to choose between saving the life of Douglas Adams and a small puppy, from falling off a cliff, would you ?<P>
a) Procrastinate, as they fell to their doom. <BR/>
b) Grab the authors hand and say ‘Aren’t you the guy who wrote Mostly Harmless’, before releasing his hand, whilst maniacally laughing.<BR/>
c) Save the puppy.<P>
If you could think of a way of bringing eternally world peace ?<P>
a) Would you hold the world to ransom, by offering to sell the information at an exorbitant price.<BR/>
b) Skip Town on an alien spacecraft, just to spite the rest of humanity.<BR/>
c) Seek medical help.<P>
If you won the lottery, would you ?<P>
a) Buy 8/10th’s of the worlds water supply, and bump the price up to $5 a litre.<BR/>
b) Become a professional Miser.<BR/>
c) Give a large sum of your money to the ‘Bankrupt Millionaires Charity’, so they need not suffer the indignity of eating No-Name brand caviar.<P>
If you have answered C to any of the above, you are worthy of joining our ranks...<P>
<A NAME="Section4"><FONT SIZE=4; FONT COLOR=#FF0000>4. Angel Resources Page...</A><FONT SIZE=3; FONT COLOR=#0000FF><P>
Archangel Big 'Evil' Dan is continually creating handy new snippets of code that you might like to add to your homepage (such as the handy drop-down menu containing links to all the other saints & code for including the GA logo on your page). So why not venture over to the Angel's Resource Page... <A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/A450145">HERE...</A><P>
<FONT SIZE=4; FONT COLOR=#000000>
<CENTER>If you would like to help others, why not sign up <BR/>
<FONT SIZE=6>
<A HREF="http://www.h2g2.com/F55445?thread=81031&latest=1">HERE</A><P></CENTER>
<IMG SRC=[broken link]"http://homestead.deja.com/user.matkershaw/files/Flowers1.gif" WIDTH=400><CENTER><P>
</TD></TR></TABLE>
</BODY>
</HTML>
</ARTICLE>
