h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I would like to apply for a position in the Alabaster Cabinet, Mr. President.

I thought I could be Minister for Facts and Government Statistics, being in charge of supplying all the information that couldn't possibly come from a credible source and verifying the unverifiable.

1 in 3 women is called Bob.
75% of ducks are incapable of understanding the basic tennants of Taoism.
Every eight seconds someone is born who will, if given the opportunity, always let you pay the bill.
Smoking makes you smarter.
Short men are 20% more likely to be midgets than tall men.

If that isn't proof positive of my capabilities then I don't know what is.

--David, who can also be expressed numerically

Superb! I'll definitely add you to the cabinet!

Sorry I didn't earlier... I did read your request about a week ago but my computer died and I've only just resussetated it!

You're in the list, if you ever decide to make a ministry page tell me and I'll add a link to that too

Thank you, thank you.

As Minister for Facts and Gvmnt. Statistics I will not be responsible for anything remotely controversial or likely to lose me my job, since 100% of screw-ups are not my fault. And that's an official statistic.

Currently the enormous Victorian building which houses the hydra-like beast of statistics is being kept in a matchbox in my pocket. The wonders of modern technology. If a sufficiently large area of h2g2 can be found I will release it. Search for sufficient virtual-estate goes on.

-- David, currently carrying a ministry in his pocket

Good good. I'll link to your pocket then. If people lose more than 30% of their fingers following the link, then it's 50% your fault, but you can blame it on borderline statistical error and give them the paperwork to fill in, which in 93% of cases gets lost in the post, and the other 7% eat it by mistake.