The Human/Chicken Theory
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth. We all agree about that, right? On the sixth day, God created humans in his own image. Well, yeah. But not quite the way we usually think about it. (NOTE: This is just a theory. I'm not saying I proved it or anything like that.) In other words, humans are really chickens, and vice versa. What I mean by that is, the Bible was meant for the chickens.
Moses was a chicken. All the Hebrew slaves were chickens. They left Egypt. They wandered across the desert for many years. Then finally they reached Mount Sinai. Moses went up the mountain to get the Ten Commandments. Meanwhile, down at the bottom of the mountain, the other chickens were worshipping the golden calf. They lost their faith, and left. Along came what we call humans, and what for the sake of not being confusing, will be called humans by this theory as well. They saw all the cool smoke coming out of the top of the mountain, and decided to stay there for the night and watch it. Down came Moses from the mountain, carrying the tablets. He was old, and his eyesight was not very good, so he thought the humans were the chickens. He gave them the tablets. Then he gave them the bible. When the walls of Jericho fell down, they were supposed to fall outwards, onto the humans. But they went in the wrong direction. Jesus was supposed to explain the mistake. But they misquoted him.
And that is The Human/Chicken Theory (yes, I know it's a horrible name).
Moses was a chicken. All the Hebrew slaves were chickens. They left Egypt. They wandered across the desert for many years. Then finally they reached Mount Sinai. Moses went up the mountain to get the Ten Commandments. Meanwhile, down at the bottom of the mountain, the other chickens were worshipping the golden calf. They lost their faith, and left. Along came what we call humans, and what for the sake of not being confusing, will be called humans by this theory as well. They saw all the cool smoke coming out of the top of the mountain, and decided to stay there for the night and watch it. Down came Moses from the mountain, carrying the tablets. He was old, and his eyesight was not very good, so he thought the humans were the chickens. He gave them the tablets. Then he gave them the bible. When the walls of Jericho fell down, they were supposed to fall outwards, onto the humans. But they went in the wrong direction. Jesus was supposed to explain the mistake. But they misquoted him.
And that is The Human/Chicken Theory (yes, I know it's a horrible name).
