Scunthorpe
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Ive just read in a magazine about the yearly 'Miss Scunny Honey' " beauty....????!!!!!!" contest .
The first question that comes to mind is "Isn't this against the trade desciptions act ?".
Someone must have a real good sense of humor to try and pull off a stunt like this in sC**Thorpe (oops, typing error...honest).
In the magazine,the left hand page had the article about the scunthorpe "beauty?" contest,the right hand page ,an advert for a computer game depicting several pictures of decomposing zombies.
To be honest,for the first ten minutes i thought it was a spot the difference competition.
Lets face it,if your female and moved to scunthorpe in the last six months and your maiden name isn't Frankenstien your on for a dead cert if you enter the contest.Easy money if i've ever seen it.Come to think of it,if your male i wouldn't place a bet at the odds that would probally be offered either.
Don't get me wrong,Scuthorpe has a lot going for it,it has an excellent open air modern art museum in the main park with exhibits by the local youths,mainly constructed from burnt out cars (donated unknowingly by the owners?).
The antiqes road show visited there only last year,if you own a television without it getting stolen in six months its classed as a family heirloom,nine moths qualifies it as an antique.
The number of designer clothes outlets has doubled since Oxfam classified it as a third world country.
A unique genetic trait means that any locals can play the dueling banjo's theme from the film Deliverence by the age of nine.
So remeber if your planning on visiting Scunthorpe,make sure your wheels nuts are good and tight,don't stop for and any red lights and if the town centre looks like a scene out of "The day of the dead", its only kicking out time at the Miss Scunny Honey Beauty Contest.
The first question that comes to mind is "Isn't this against the trade desciptions act ?".
Someone must have a real good sense of humor to try and pull off a stunt like this in sC**Thorpe (oops, typing error...honest).
In the magazine,the left hand page had the article about the scunthorpe "beauty?" contest,the right hand page ,an advert for a computer game depicting several pictures of decomposing zombies.
To be honest,for the first ten minutes i thought it was a spot the difference competition.
Lets face it,if your female and moved to scunthorpe in the last six months and your maiden name isn't Frankenstien your on for a dead cert if you enter the contest.Easy money if i've ever seen it.Come to think of it,if your male i wouldn't place a bet at the odds that would probally be offered either.
Don't get me wrong,Scuthorpe has a lot going for it,it has an excellent open air modern art museum in the main park with exhibits by the local youths,mainly constructed from burnt out cars (donated unknowingly by the owners?).
The antiqes road show visited there only last year,if you own a television without it getting stolen in six months its classed as a family heirloom,nine moths qualifies it as an antique.
The number of designer clothes outlets has doubled since Oxfam classified it as a third world country.
A unique genetic trait means that any locals can play the dueling banjo's theme from the film Deliverence by the age of nine.
So remeber if your planning on visiting Scunthorpe,make sure your wheels nuts are good and tight,don't stop for and any red lights and if the town centre looks like a scene out of "The day of the dead", its only kicking out time at the Miss Scunny Honey Beauty Contest.
