Jester's Condescending English Dictionary - N

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Nachman's Rulen
When it comes to foreign food, the less authentic the better.

-- Gerald Nachman
Naeser's Lawn
You can make it foolproof, but you can't make it damnfoolproof.
The contagious action of yawning, causing everyone in sight
to also yawn.

-- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends
A place to stash your gum on the way down.
nerd packn
Plastic pouch worn in breast pocket to keep pens from soiling
clothes. Nerd's position in engineering hierarchy can be measured
by number of pens, grease pencils, and rulers bristling
in his pack.
(1) When there are too many fishermen.

(2) When the fish find their way out of the net. See also Network
When you have to repair your fishing net. See also Netscape (2)
neutron bombn
An explosive device of limited military value because, as
it only destroys people without destroying property, it
must be used in conjunction with bombs that destroy property.
Never Everadj
At least once in the not-too-distant future; maybe more.

-- Good News Week *2
Different color from previous model.
New Yorkn
Where men are men, sheep enjoy it, and lepers laugh their heads off.
Newlan's Truismn
An "acceptable" level of unemployment means that the
government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.
Newman's Discoveryn
Your best dreams may not come true; fortunately, neither will
your worst dreams.
Newton's Law of
What goes up must come down. But don't expect it to come down where
you can find it. Murphy's Law applies to Newton's.
Newton's Little-Known
Seventh Law
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
Nick the Greek's
Law of Life
All things considered, life is 9 to 5 against.
Ninety-Ninety Rule
of Project Schedules
The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of
the time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent.
Lower than the day rate.
no brainern
A decision which, viewed through the retrospectoscope,
is "obvious" to those who failed to make it originally.
no maintenanceadj
Impossible to fix.
Was aware of.
nolo contendere
A legal term meaning: "I didn't do it, judge, and I'll never do
it again."
nominal eggn
New Yorkerese for expensive.
Laws of
pl, n
Negative expectations yield negative results.

Positive expectations yield negative results.
A man with an erection who walks into a wall and breaks his nose.
Nouvelle cuisinen
French for "not enough food".
See also Continental breakfast, Dim Sum and Tapas
England winning back-to-back test matches.
The eleventh twelfth of a weariness.

-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
When comes the revolution, things will be different --
not better, just different.
Nowlan's Theoryn
He who hesitates is not only lost, but several miles from
the next freeway exit.
Nusbaum's Rulen
The more pretentious the corporate name, the smaller the
organization. (For instance, the Murphy Center for the
Codification of Human and Organizational Law, contrasted
to IBM, GM, and AT&T.)

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