Jester's Condescending English Dictionary - J

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Jacquin's Postulate
on Democratic
No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the
legislature is in session.
The friendship one woman shares with another.
Jenkinson's Lawn
It won't work.
A hoopy frood
Jewish Dileman
Free pork.
Jim Nasium's
In a large locker room with hundreds of lockers, the few people
using the facility at any one time will all have lockers next to
each other so that everybody is cramped.
job interviewn
The excruciating process during which personnel officers
separate the wheat from the chaff -- then hire the chaff.
job placementn
Telling your boss what he can do with your job.
An odd sort of person with a thing for pain.
Johnny Carson's
The smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs
in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the
taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.
Johnny Carson's
on Geriatrics
Sex in the sixties is great, but it improves if you pull
over to the side of the road.
First Law
When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the
most inconvenient possible time.
Johnson's lawn
Systems resemble the organizations that create them.
Jones' Motton
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
First Law
Anyone who makes a significant contribution to any field of
endeavor, and stays in that field long enough, becomes an
obstruction to its progress -- in direct proportion to the
importance of their original contribution.
Second Law
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone
to blame it on.
Juall's Law
on Nice Guys
Nice guys don't always finish last; sometimes they don't finish.
Sometimes they don't even get a chance to start!
A decision in your favor.

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