Reasons NOT to Eat Rat Poison
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Believe it or not, Rat Poison is one of the many items that you should NOT eat (others include sulfur, upholstery, and Ed Asner). Rat Poison has decidedly been added to this list for number of reasons.
1. IT KILLS YOU.
Although this is documented oftentimes and for certain people as a change for the better, most critics agree that it is an altogether unpleasant experience. In the past, it has potentially interfered with a number of every day activities, such as eating, reading, and laying cement. Beside all this, the surgeon general recommends to avoid death.
2. IT HAS A RATHER BLAND TASTE.
Researchers have found, through extensive testing, that Rat Poison makes a very tasteless side dish, and goes well with very few meats. George Williams, one of the scientists involved in testing rat poison said, "Rat Poison lacks the poignant flavor of most culinary dishes. If it were slightly more tangy, it might have the correct taste to counter a..." Williams' statements after this point were merely interpreted as a series of unintelligible gurgles.
3. LEAVE SOME FOR THE RATS
Rats, being names after rat poison, decidedly are entitled to a large portion of the Rat Poison of our country. Numerous rats have made complaints about the limited store of Rat Poison, and the rising need. People keeping Rat Poison for themselves have been characterized as uncaring villians, who can't even share with the needy rats of our country.
As we can see, there is a volumnious store of reason we should not eat rat poison. So do what's best for you, your taste buds, and needy rats everywhere.
::If you would like to contribute your Rat Poison to needy rats of America please call 1-800-555-RATS. Thank you for your support.
1. IT KILLS YOU.
Although this is documented oftentimes and for certain people as a change for the better, most critics agree that it is an altogether unpleasant experience. In the past, it has potentially interfered with a number of every day activities, such as eating, reading, and laying cement. Beside all this, the surgeon general recommends to avoid death.
2. IT HAS A RATHER BLAND TASTE.
Researchers have found, through extensive testing, that Rat Poison makes a very tasteless side dish, and goes well with very few meats. George Williams, one of the scientists involved in testing rat poison said, "Rat Poison lacks the poignant flavor of most culinary dishes. If it were slightly more tangy, it might have the correct taste to counter a..." Williams' statements after this point were merely interpreted as a series of unintelligible gurgles.
3. LEAVE SOME FOR THE RATS
Rats, being names after rat poison, decidedly are entitled to a large portion of the Rat Poison of our country. Numerous rats have made complaints about the limited store of Rat Poison, and the rising need. People keeping Rat Poison for themselves have been characterized as uncaring villians, who can't even share with the needy rats of our country.
As we can see, there is a volumnious store of reason we should not eat rat poison. So do what's best for you, your taste buds, and needy rats everywhere.
::If you would like to contribute your Rat Poison to needy rats of America please call 1-800-555-RATS. Thank you for your support.
