Lift
Created | Updated Apr 15, 2002
A lift is a box that carries you from floor to floor in a tall building
without you having to pant your way up the staircase. Elisha Otis invented
the lift in America in 1852 and, apart from the mistake of calling it an
elevator got it right first time. Little has changed since then with one
notable exception. Lifts now use "artificil intelligence" to work out how
to screw you up. If you're on the third floor and the lift is on the ground,
it will wait until you've taken the stairs before it BINGS on your floor,
looks around sees that your not there and goes away laughing. Even more
recently lifts have begun to talk to you. "Ground floor", "Please mind the
doors" just as Douglas Adams suggested. Has anyone heard what it says when
the lift is overloaded? I understand it says "Would the fattest person
please get off".
without you having to pant your way up the staircase. Elisha Otis invented
the lift in America in 1852 and, apart from the mistake of calling it an
elevator got it right first time. Little has changed since then with one
notable exception. Lifts now use "artificil intelligence" to work out how
to screw you up. If you're on the third floor and the lift is on the ground,
it will wait until you've taken the stairs before it BINGS on your floor,
looks around sees that your not there and goes away laughing. Even more
recently lifts have begun to talk to you. "Ground floor", "Please mind the
doors" just as Douglas Adams suggested. Has anyone heard what it says when
the lift is overloaded? I understand it says "Would the fattest person
please get off".
