Orbital Weapons Platforms
Created | Updated May 17, 2005
When considering plans for world domination, cost is a major factor. After building your milti-billion pound orbital weapons platform (or OWP), you will be fortunate indeed if you have enough capital remaining to employ the staff necessary to run it.
There are only really 3 options for the budget conscious megalomaniac:
1. Blokes in orange jumpsuits.
Whilst this is the more expensive option, bear in mind that their training will be comparatively easy and they are less likely to make mistakes.
2. Chimpazees.
Cheaper, but require extensive training and also likely to betray you when bribed with bananas.
3. Macaques.
DON'T! Whilst very cheap to run, the cost of re-wiring their brains to perform even simple tasks has bankrupted many a budding dictator and even if you can somehow afford it, all they will do is get pi**ed and have drunken monkey sex in the airlock when they should be blowing up major cities.
Other options, such as Squirrels, Pigeons or anything associated with Microsoft should also be avoided.
There are only really 3 options for the budget conscious megalomaniac:
1. Blokes in orange jumpsuits.
Whilst this is the more expensive option, bear in mind that their training will be comparatively easy and they are less likely to make mistakes.
2. Chimpazees.
Cheaper, but require extensive training and also likely to betray you when bribed with bananas.
3. Macaques.
DON'T! Whilst very cheap to run, the cost of re-wiring their brains to perform even simple tasks has bankrupted many a budding dictator and even if you can somehow afford it, all they will do is get pi**ed and have drunken monkey sex in the airlock when they should be blowing up major cities.
Other options, such as Squirrels, Pigeons or anything associated with Microsoft should also be avoided.
