Gig Etiquette
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Oh, how one deplores the actions of certain young rapscallions in the live arena; not all seem to realise that in every situation life offers up there is opportunity for courtesy. Even at gigs, one can be well-mannered, if only certain rules could be adhered to...
Do NOT Masturbate
Even if it is Garbage onstage.
Tidy Up Loose Long Hair
Those persons attending a gig, whom are possessors of long hair, ought not to leave it untied. This is both for both the sake of their own comfort, and also that of those around them. Loose hair can easily become entangled in the jewellery or watches of others, and simply on the whim of the pushing crowd can be pulled in several directions at once. Vanity ought not to be an issue within this context; equally, an alluring presentation of self ought not to be the gig-goer’s highest priority. (N.B. The lead singer / swoonsome guitarist are not going to be any more likely to notice an audience member with loose hair than one who favours plaits.) It should also be noted that those stood behind long haired individuals are unlikely to appreciate the whiplash sensation of it hitting their face(s); neither will they form willing participants in an informal test to see whether it is possible to identify shampoo brands by being forced to taste the hair itself. In order to retain a full head of hair, therefore, and the affability of those around you within a crowd, it is prudent to restrain your mane.
Give Consideration Towards Ornamentation
When choosing items to compliment a gig-going outfit, an individual must give consideration to three separate agendas: how such items will make them look, how safe such items will be in a crowd situation, and how comfortable such items will be to other crowd-members. Context is very important, when reaching a decision on these subjects. If, for example, you are planning on diving into the mosh-pit, your faery-wings-and-plastic-tiara ensemble will probably not survive the night. Equally, a feather boa is never the same after a gig night-out. (When the crowd has been emptied, the buildings which host Manics concerts tend to look like boa graveyards, as between the broken pint glasses, feathers of all different hues are strewn across the floor.) The mouth-factor ought also to be remembered, when considering feather boa or scarf adornment; as previously recommended for those with long hair, it is advisable to think of those who will be behind you when making a final ornamentation decision, as few appreciate a mouthful of feathers during their favourite song.
Try Not To Sweat Too Much On Other People
Keeping your torso covered during the gig itself helps in this.
Refrain From Heckling
There are those who, when attending a gig, choose to vociferously insult the band, a choice member thereof, or even their material. By this action, such people tend to mark themselves out as unimaginative, badly-styled, unintelligent, greasy, identikit, sexually frustrated, beered-up, inadequate, Spice-Boy virgins incapable of stringing together a sentence with more than one adjective and the minimum verb. Such individuals, intent on parading their rampant heterosexuality, appear unaware of the dangerous nature of such an action; certain band members have been noted to react with violence to taunting, and many loyal fans in the crowd can also follow suit. And heckling itself surely begs the question: if you don't like the band, why are you in the building? While it is to be agreed that we all have the right to freedom of speech, dissatisfaction ought to be able to be voiced in the way in which people are doing their jobs only if it will not disrupt their performing of that job. I would advise hecklers that, if they do not like the entertainment on offer, they ought to remove themselves from it; the mass exodus of an audience is far more damning a gesture than a repeated two-fingers, or slurred insult.
Avoid Smoking in a Crowd Situation
It is advisable, when ensconced within a densely populated crowd, to refrain from smoking. Such an action is both polite, as involuntary passive smoking can be most unpopular, and is also humane. To cigarette-burn another crowd-member is considered to be terribly bad form.
Think Carefully Before Choosing To Crowd-Surf
As with smoking, the decision as to whether to crowd-surf sees the gig-going individual choose whether to put their own wants and desires before that of the crowd as a whole. Aside from the fondling and the finger-nails, crowd-surfing can be, I am assured, a wholly euphoric experience. This feeling is not, however, reciprocated by the crowd. For those expected to support the body of the surfer, such an action involves wildly flailing appendages, a growing headache, and the incessant opportunity to have earrings kicked out. Crowd-surfing can seriously mar an audience’s enjoyment of a night, particularly if the individual concerned favours heavy footwear and abrasive fabrics. Those considering such an action ought to keep in mind that their body-weight needs to be within acceptable parameters (i.e. be that which an audience is capable of supporting), and ought also to remember that serial offenders are quite likely to just be dropped by an unappreciative crowd.
Do NOT Crowd-Surf If Wearing Wellies
Glastonbury Festival experience dictates that those persons wearing dripping muddy wellies ought always to stay very firmly on the ground.
Never Sexually Harrass Another. Obviously.
Despite the crowd being just one seething mass of people, pressing in from all sides, individuals can still tell if those hands need to be positioned upon their person in quite such a manner. And if the lecherous opportunist is lucky, the only physical after-effects of such an action will be Security-propelled building-ejection.
and finally...
Respect Others
Taking a lesson from *The Water Babies*, Do As You Would Be Done By. Try to extend the same courtesy to others as you would wish extended to you... and we should all live happily ever after.
Do NOT Masturbate
Even if it is Garbage onstage.
Tidy Up Loose Long Hair
Those persons attending a gig, whom are possessors of long hair, ought not to leave it untied. This is both for both the sake of their own comfort, and also that of those around them. Loose hair can easily become entangled in the jewellery or watches of others, and simply on the whim of the pushing crowd can be pulled in several directions at once. Vanity ought not to be an issue within this context; equally, an alluring presentation of self ought not to be the gig-goer’s highest priority. (N.B. The lead singer / swoonsome guitarist are not going to be any more likely to notice an audience member with loose hair than one who favours plaits.) It should also be noted that those stood behind long haired individuals are unlikely to appreciate the whiplash sensation of it hitting their face(s); neither will they form willing participants in an informal test to see whether it is possible to identify shampoo brands by being forced to taste the hair itself. In order to retain a full head of hair, therefore, and the affability of those around you within a crowd, it is prudent to restrain your mane.
Give Consideration Towards Ornamentation
When choosing items to compliment a gig-going outfit, an individual must give consideration to three separate agendas: how such items will make them look, how safe such items will be in a crowd situation, and how comfortable such items will be to other crowd-members. Context is very important, when reaching a decision on these subjects. If, for example, you are planning on diving into the mosh-pit, your faery-wings-and-plastic-tiara ensemble will probably not survive the night. Equally, a feather boa is never the same after a gig night-out. (When the crowd has been emptied, the buildings which host Manics concerts tend to look like boa graveyards, as between the broken pint glasses, feathers of all different hues are strewn across the floor.) The mouth-factor ought also to be remembered, when considering feather boa or scarf adornment; as previously recommended for those with long hair, it is advisable to think of those who will be behind you when making a final ornamentation decision, as few appreciate a mouthful of feathers during their favourite song.
Try Not To Sweat Too Much On Other People
Keeping your torso covered during the gig itself helps in this.
Refrain From Heckling
There are those who, when attending a gig, choose to vociferously insult the band, a choice member thereof, or even their material. By this action, such people tend to mark themselves out as unimaginative, badly-styled, unintelligent, greasy, identikit, sexually frustrated, beered-up, inadequate, Spice-Boy virgins incapable of stringing together a sentence with more than one adjective and the minimum verb. Such individuals, intent on parading their rampant heterosexuality, appear unaware of the dangerous nature of such an action; certain band members have been noted to react with violence to taunting, and many loyal fans in the crowd can also follow suit. And heckling itself surely begs the question: if you don't like the band, why are you in the building? While it is to be agreed that we all have the right to freedom of speech, dissatisfaction ought to be able to be voiced in the way in which people are doing their jobs only if it will not disrupt their performing of that job. I would advise hecklers that, if they do not like the entertainment on offer, they ought to remove themselves from it; the mass exodus of an audience is far more damning a gesture than a repeated two-fingers, or slurred insult.
Avoid Smoking in a Crowd Situation
It is advisable, when ensconced within a densely populated crowd, to refrain from smoking. Such an action is both polite, as involuntary passive smoking can be most unpopular, and is also humane. To cigarette-burn another crowd-member is considered to be terribly bad form.
Think Carefully Before Choosing To Crowd-Surf
As with smoking, the decision as to whether to crowd-surf sees the gig-going individual choose whether to put their own wants and desires before that of the crowd as a whole. Aside from the fondling and the finger-nails, crowd-surfing can be, I am assured, a wholly euphoric experience. This feeling is not, however, reciprocated by the crowd. For those expected to support the body of the surfer, such an action involves wildly flailing appendages, a growing headache, and the incessant opportunity to have earrings kicked out. Crowd-surfing can seriously mar an audience’s enjoyment of a night, particularly if the individual concerned favours heavy footwear and abrasive fabrics. Those considering such an action ought to keep in mind that their body-weight needs to be within acceptable parameters (i.e. be that which an audience is capable of supporting), and ought also to remember that serial offenders are quite likely to just be dropped by an unappreciative crowd.
Do NOT Crowd-Surf If Wearing Wellies
Glastonbury Festival experience dictates that those persons wearing dripping muddy wellies ought always to stay very firmly on the ground.
Never Sexually Harrass Another. Obviously.
Despite the crowd being just one seething mass of people, pressing in from all sides, individuals can still tell if those hands need to be positioned upon their person in quite such a manner. And if the lecherous opportunist is lucky, the only physical after-effects of such an action will be Security-propelled building-ejection.
and finally...
Respect Others
Taking a lesson from *The Water Babies*, Do As You Would Be Done By. Try to extend the same courtesy to others as you would wish extended to you... and we should all live happily ever after.
