What a Goatee Beard says about you.
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Facial hair has been responsible for much that is great in human civilisation, from WG Grace to ZZ Top. The beard itself has been a good friend to man since the time of dodgy Raquel Welch dinosaur pics, and it boldly states 'I cannot, or cannot be bothered to, shave myself. Insult my shaggy jawline all you wish, as it is either beyond my control or the abuse is something I am willing to endure in the cause of slothfulness.'
What, though, of the elusive Goatee Beard where only the top lip, point of jaw, and area around mouth remain unshaven? This person clearly can be bothered to shave. He clearly has access to shaving equipment. Obviously we must conclude he thinks the beard adds to his physical allure. Not for him the nonchalant indifference of the fully-bearded fellow. The goatee beard is a beard with a purpose, a beard intended to make one look better (oxymoron though that be). One may therefore savagely ridicule the appearance of a goatee beard wearer in the knowledge that he secretly really does care what you think.
What, though, of the elusive Goatee Beard where only the top lip, point of jaw, and area around mouth remain unshaven? This person clearly can be bothered to shave. He clearly has access to shaving equipment. Obviously we must conclude he thinks the beard adds to his physical allure. Not for him the nonchalant indifference of the fully-bearded fellow. The goatee beard is a beard with a purpose, a beard intended to make one look better (oxymoron though that be). One may therefore savagely ridicule the appearance of a goatee beard wearer in the knowledge that he secretly really does care what you think.
