The Puma

0 Conversations


The puma (otherwise known as ‘cougar’ or ‘mountain lion’) is not really a ‘big cat’. The true big cats – the lion, the tiger, the jaguar and the leopard – are members of the genus Panthera. The puma, on the other hand, belongs to the genus Felis – the same genus as the domestic cat. So really it is no more than an overgrown pussycat and this provides useful clues on how to deal with a puma, should you encounter one in the wilds of North or South America.


Step 1: Clap your hands loudly. This will Startle the puma. If you accompany the clapping with a fierce shout of ‘No! Bad Kitty!’ or a dog-like growling sound, the animal will undoubtedly bound away and leave you alone.


Step 2: Squirt it with water. Always have a household squirt bottle handy for just this kind of emergency. Make sure it is full of water. There is no-one more embarrassed than the hiker who boldly stands up to a hungry puma with a squirt bottle held determinedly in front of him, then realises that he used the last of the water therein to wash his toothbrush that morning.


Step 3: Switch on the vacuum cleaner. This will totally Freak Out the puma and send it running scared. It will hide behind a tree or under a large bush and not even a tempting piece of fish will entice it out for at least an hour afterwards.


If all three of these steps fail, then you may Panic. An adult puma can grow to more than eight feet in length and weigh in excess of 200 pounds. It can run a lot faster than you, has lightning reflexes, and can leap fifteen feet vertically into the air in order to come down hard on your back after a short sprint. This is a puma’s favourite method of tackling prey and it is exceptionally good at it.


Bookmark on your Personal Space


Conversations About This Entry

There are no Conversations for this Entry

Entry

A395778

Infinite Improbability Drive

Infinite Improbability Drive

Read a random Edited Entry


Written and Edited by

Disclaimer

h2g2 is created by h2g2's users, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of the Not Panicking Ltd. Unlike Edited Entries, Entries have not been checked by an Editor. If you consider any Entry to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please register a complaint. For any other comments, please visit the Feedback page.

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more