A Dying Art

Know Your Note

1. Friendly Chat

This is a note you share with a close buddy.  These can get horribly personal depending on how much you and the other person trust each other, however most close friends have a language all their own made of inside jokes and secret codes, if this is the case you have little to worry about.  These can be passed back and forth during class or a meeting with both sides of the conversation contained on a single sheet of paper, or they can be formally written and traded regularly.  These are a great way to communicate with a friend when you can't use other mediums.  They come especially in handy in cases where your time spent physically in the presence of your friend has been dramatically reduced, you can only say so much in five minutes but you can write a whole day's worth of events and give that to your friend in a fraction of the time.



2. Hate Note

In a perfect world these wouldn't exist.  The point is to tell someone you no longer like him or her or that you never liked him or her at all.  These are usually motivated when an action by the recipient-to-be causes the writer to snap.  It is best to never even attempt writing one of these, and if you do, never deliver it.  If you are ending a friendship/relationship have the guts to do it in person.



3. Love Note (Conversational)

   Despite its name, this is much more closely related to the friendly chat note (see above) than the introductory love note (see below).  The main difference here is that the recipient is a lover rather than solely a friend.  Since every couple has their own set of rules about what is acceptable to say to each other, there is no clear set of rules for these, just don't let them fall into the wrong hands.
   
   

4. Love Note (Introductory)

   This is by far one of the most common reasons note passing still lives today, if it is not the very reason it started in the first place.  The purpose of an introductory love note is simply to tell another person you are romantically interested in them without having to confront them face-to-face.  The key here is to not come off as a psychopath.  Don't flaunt any obsessive knowledge of the person's life to him or her.  It is nice to be noticed, it is terrifying to be stalked.  On a similar note, don't mention the prospect of marriage.  Keep it simple and to the point.
   
   

5. Questionnaire

   The name says it all, unless three syllable words confuse you.  If that's the case I have no idea how you even found your way to this guide.  You can be asking a single question (ex. Will you go to the dance with me?) or a series of questions.  Just remember some simple rules: 1) if you have to be asking this person questions, it is likely you don't know them that well, so be very careful with how personal of questions you ask and 2) if you're going to ask a large list of questions make sure you keep a reference guide to what you asked, the person may return their answers on a different sheet of paper with the questions not noted anywhere, you don't want to be stuck wondering if blue is his or her favorite color or how he or she feels.

Know Your Recipient

Some Notes on Notes

• Your teacher/boss/nosey peer can see you looking under your desk.  Only open and read your note when everyone is looking at something else.
• If you're using middle people to pass your note for you, make sure you trust them.
• Personalize your notes.  Those margins will go to waste otherwise.  Draw some fish in them or play Tic-Tac-Toe.
• Be pretty about it.  Start your note Dear _______³, and sign your name at the end.  (The obvious exception is when the two of you are having an entire conversation on one sheet of paper.  Here the formality can be avoided to conserve time and space.)
• Have fun.  Nobody likes it when a note gets too serious.
• Write legibly.  For the love of neon lights write legibly!
• With close friends, use a code to rate content much like that used for movies or video games.  Simply place it on the outside of the note, this way if Bobby's or Susie's father is your teacher/boss you'll know not to open a note containing discussion on right triangles where he might be able to take it from you.  This will save a whole lot of trouble (and in some cases dignity).
• Fold your note neatly.  If you're adventurous you may try some oragami⁴, but remember, too many wrinkles in the paper makes it hard to read.

There Now