If some beetroot dropped out of your sandwich onto your pristine Jag shirt, you could wash it forty times and there would still be the pink silhouette of a space invader telling the world that you should wear a bib while eating.

If you tried to invigorate an old pair of jeans by adding a blue sock and soaking it for 3 days, the rinse water would run dark blue and, if anything, the jeans would appear to have faded.

Step on a piece of chewing gum and then scrape it with a wire brush, a pointy stick and a brick wall and you’ll still feel the build-up on the bottom of your shoe as you walk along.

Stick a loose tile back onto the bathroom wall with some well-masticated gum and the next morning you’ll find a blank piece of wall, a shattered tile and a chip out of the floor.