Customer Services Representatives
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
(those voices on the other and of the phone when you dial corporate free phone numbers.)
when dealing with these magnanimous beings it is best to adopt a tone of deferent respect. it may be that you believe you are talking to a personification of the faceless corporation in question.
you could not be more wrong. The being you have in fact made contact with is a highly intelligent, under-appreciated malevolent spirit who is imprisoned by this corporation and sellotaped to a telephone.
In most cases they will serve to accomodate the wishes and rectify the problems of those who call them seeking assistance.
If however the caller is someone seeking to exact revenge upon the corporation by earbashing it's representative with wild threats and curses, the spirit is quite liable to go ahead and magnify the customer's problems.
For instance, someone dealing with the Customer Services Office of the Post Office for a problem with their mail deliveries:
1) the customer rings up and calmly explains the problem and deferently requests that the Representative fix it. The representative takes measures to stop the problem and the customer is happy; or
2) the customer dials the number and begins the conversation by insulting the representatives mother, pets, company, and husband or wife. eventually channels their ranting into describing the problem and then brings their colourful demonstration of expletive to a crescendo at which point they slam the phone down.
the representative then proceeds to redirect all their mail to spain and instructs their postman to come back after their round and smack their letterbox of it's post with a sledgehammer.
when dealing with these magnanimous beings it is best to adopt a tone of deferent respect. it may be that you believe you are talking to a personification of the faceless corporation in question.
you could not be more wrong. The being you have in fact made contact with is a highly intelligent, under-appreciated malevolent spirit who is imprisoned by this corporation and sellotaped to a telephone.
In most cases they will serve to accomodate the wishes and rectify the problems of those who call them seeking assistance.
If however the caller is someone seeking to exact revenge upon the corporation by earbashing it's representative with wild threats and curses, the spirit is quite liable to go ahead and magnify the customer's problems.
For instance, someone dealing with the Customer Services Office of the Post Office for a problem with their mail deliveries:
1) the customer rings up and calmly explains the problem and deferently requests that the Representative fix it. The representative takes measures to stop the problem and the customer is happy; or
2) the customer dials the number and begins the conversation by insulting the representatives mother, pets, company, and husband or wife. eventually channels their ranting into describing the problem and then brings their colourful demonstration of expletive to a crescendo at which point they slam the phone down.
the representative then proceeds to redirect all their mail to spain and instructs their postman to come back after their round and smack their letterbox of it's post with a sledgehammer.
