The Truth About the Internet
Created | Updated Oct 20, 2010
<p><strong>Like so many things in life - UFO's, car mechanics,
Dale Winton's tan - everything is not as it seems with the
Internet.<BR/>
Various far fetched theories abound as to how it all works,
citing things such as magic, ley-lines and demonic possesion, yet
no-one has actually revealed the facts. Join me, as we go in
search of... </strong><em><strong>the truth about the Internet.</strong></em></p>
<p>Have you ever wondered why the Windows installation files are
so unutterably vast? It has nothing to do with the incredible
complexity of the operating system itself. Far from it; Bill
Gates' billions have paid the most skilled technicians in the
world to compress the core code down to just 2.5 bytes.</p>
<p>You see, everything you think you have ever accessed through
the so-called 'magic' of the Internet is actually contained
within you Windows 95/98 program files, thus making the
installation so large. Built in slowdown programs make sure
everything is accessed at appropriately depressing speed. A
global conspiracy cornered the Internet Service Provider and has
been coining it in ever since, taking your money and effectively
doing nothing in return.</p>
<p>But still, this means that armed with this new truth you can
now look at the filthiest smut around, safe in the knowledge that
it's already on your PC, so you needn't feel guilty anymore.</p>
Dale Winton's tan - everything is not as it seems with the
Internet.<BR/>
Various far fetched theories abound as to how it all works,
citing things such as magic, ley-lines and demonic possesion, yet
no-one has actually revealed the facts. Join me, as we go in
search of... </strong><em><strong>the truth about the Internet.</strong></em></p>
<p>Have you ever wondered why the Windows installation files are
so unutterably vast? It has nothing to do with the incredible
complexity of the operating system itself. Far from it; Bill
Gates' billions have paid the most skilled technicians in the
world to compress the core code down to just 2.5 bytes.</p>
<p>You see, everything you think you have ever accessed through
the so-called 'magic' of the Internet is actually contained
within you Windows 95/98 program files, thus making the
installation so large. Built in slowdown programs make sure
everything is accessed at appropriately depressing speed. A
global conspiracy cornered the Internet Service Provider and has
been coining it in ever since, taking your money and effectively
doing nothing in return.</p>
<p>But still, this means that armed with this new truth you can
now look at the filthiest smut around, safe in the knowledge that
it's already on your PC, so you needn't feel guilty anymore.</p>
