Building Muscles
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Ever since I was a boy I was the size of a tractor and twice as strong. The secret to building big muscles is to be single minded. Each day you have to work hard at getting the right nutrition and the right exercise. So from a small child I tr5ied to eat my own body weight in greasy food each day and throw my friends across the fields.
Oh how we laughed.
Life was good in the country.
And then I discovered aerobics.
It is like my religion.
Say it gently and it sounds like your praying.
Aerobics who art in Heaven. See it even fits!
And weights.
That's like S - E - \ - / (you have to put the last two lines on top of each other to see what I was spelling. But be prepared for a shock. It's a bit rude).
I had to start out with sacks of corn with a tractor axle between them.
Up, down, up, down,
and that was just my eyebrows.
And then one day I saw a little sparrow sitting on the sack of corn trying to pull one of the corns out of the loose stitching on the sack. And all of a sudden a stone hit the little bird and killed it. Right in front of me.
I was so angry I nearly bit my lip.
I looked to see who had thrown the stone and there by the field was Smorl Freye the boy who used to make fun of me at school for not knowing the answers in the arithmetic tests. i get a bit stuck when they won't let me take off my shoes and socks for hte high numbers.
I saw red.
I wiped the sparrows offal from my eye and started to chase Smorl. He ran so fast I couldn't catch him. But from that day to this I carry a raspberry to remind me of the sparrow and I fight to defend the small and weak.
So beware of me and my raspberry.
You can sometimes see it hanging out of my thong.
Oh how we laughed.
Life was good in the country.
And then I discovered aerobics.
It is like my religion.
Say it gently and it sounds like your praying.
Aerobics who art in Heaven. See it even fits!
And weights.
That's like S - E - \ - / (you have to put the last two lines on top of each other to see what I was spelling. But be prepared for a shock. It's a bit rude).
I had to start out with sacks of corn with a tractor axle between them.
Up, down, up, down,
and that was just my eyebrows.
And then one day I saw a little sparrow sitting on the sack of corn trying to pull one of the corns out of the loose stitching on the sack. And all of a sudden a stone hit the little bird and killed it. Right in front of me.
I was so angry I nearly bit my lip.
I looked to see who had thrown the stone and there by the field was Smorl Freye the boy who used to make fun of me at school for not knowing the answers in the arithmetic tests. i get a bit stuck when they won't let me take off my shoes and socks for hte high numbers.
I saw red.
I wiped the sparrows offal from my eye and started to chase Smorl. He ran so fast I couldn't catch him. But from that day to this I carry a raspberry to remind me of the sparrow and I fight to defend the small and weak.
So beware of me and my raspberry.
You can sometimes see it hanging out of my thong.
