The Addictive Properties Of Online Football Management Games.
Created | Updated Mar 11, 2005
For many years now scientists have believed that the most habit-forming things that a human being could possibly indulge in were either; Crack Cocaine, Milk Chocolate Hob Nobs, Bubble-wrap or finding a really nice long bit of dead skin to peel and pick away at in a hard, calloused area such as the heel or elbow.
However radical new research has thrown up the possibility that these three may well be superceded in the near future by the meteoric rise in popularity of online football management games. Initial reports filtering through from bleeding-edge research teams put the number of man-hours lost to British industry to simulations such as these as eclipsing the sneaky extended fag break, internet dating sites, or even workers looking busy when they actually aren't and doing lots of unnecessary filing because they 'just can't be arsed today', combined. Indeed many feel that education minister Ruth Kelly's recent decision not to uphold any of the reccomendations in the Tomlinson report on the structural reform of britain's schools was in some part, due to her having only managed to glance at it briefly during half-time in a crunch match with SouthLondonAllStarz, whilst in the middle of a three week www.sundayleague.com bender.
Recent calls from certain sections of the media and some conservative back-benchers for sites like these to be banned have floundered however, after moderators of www.soccerleague.com pointed out that the majority of the journalists and politicians involved with the campaign had in fact previously been playing the game heavily and were; 'just jealous and bitter and out to spoil it for everyone else because they hadn't got beyond the qualifying rounds of The Elite Cup this season.'
But one thing is certain. The thrill of training up a bunch of clod-hopping dullards to the peak of physical perfection, fine tuning tactics and making lightning smash-and-grab raids on the transfer market is an undeniably heady one. Enthusiasts point out that assembling an awesome footballing dynasty and leading them to glorious victory over a worldwide community of real human managers is fun, free, relatively harmless and anyway a damn site better way of spending a Sunday afternoon than slogging all the way up to bloody Ikea to look at picture frames.
notoriousrory@kitty
However radical new research has thrown up the possibility that these three may well be superceded in the near future by the meteoric rise in popularity of online football management games. Initial reports filtering through from bleeding-edge research teams put the number of man-hours lost to British industry to simulations such as these as eclipsing the sneaky extended fag break, internet dating sites, or even workers looking busy when they actually aren't and doing lots of unnecessary filing because they 'just can't be arsed today', combined. Indeed many feel that education minister Ruth Kelly's recent decision not to uphold any of the reccomendations in the Tomlinson report on the structural reform of britain's schools was in some part, due to her having only managed to glance at it briefly during half-time in a crunch match with SouthLondonAllStarz, whilst in the middle of a three week www.sundayleague.com bender.
Recent calls from certain sections of the media and some conservative back-benchers for sites like these to be banned have floundered however, after moderators of www.soccerleague.com pointed out that the majority of the journalists and politicians involved with the campaign had in fact previously been playing the game heavily and were; 'just jealous and bitter and out to spoil it for everyone else because they hadn't got beyond the qualifying rounds of The Elite Cup this season.'
But one thing is certain. The thrill of training up a bunch of clod-hopping dullards to the peak of physical perfection, fine tuning tactics and making lightning smash-and-grab raids on the transfer market is an undeniably heady one. Enthusiasts point out that assembling an awesome footballing dynasty and leading them to glorious victory over a worldwide community of real human managers is fun, free, relatively harmless and anyway a damn site better way of spending a Sunday afternoon than slogging all the way up to bloody Ikea to look at picture frames.
notoriousrory@kitty
