This is a collection of the Most Profound Thoughts Eeyore has had since becoming an h2g2 researcher.

Obviously, Eeyore had Thoughts before that but they were mostly about Food.

"If Lord Archer ends up with a prison sentence, it will be extremely badly written."

"Psychopath is the posh name for crazy paving."

"If carrots help you see in the dark, can they give you insomnia?"

"Jars and vase. Rhyming pottery."

"Many people have been hit on the head by falling apples, but Newton was the first man to realise the gravity of the situation."

"Comatose is what you get when your feet have gone to sleep."

"I bumped into my optician in the street. Bad sign, eh?"

"Shoes kick one another in the cupboard when youÕre not looking."

"When they excavated Pompeii, they discovered a cast of thousands."

"If all the world was paper and all the sea was ink, writers would live at the coast."