To Appear Proffesional
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
To appear profesional is to appear non-offensive, but in power. It is to appear in charge of what is going on, in control, but just as much as everyone else. There is a dress code.
One must have professional appearing hair.
It does not have to be one's natural hair color as long as it can be accounted for as someone else's natural hair color. This is because unnatural colors of hair such as fire-engine red, or electric blue are offensive and project a rebellious and irresponsible attitude.
The hair can have as much harmful hairspray or goop in it as one would desire as long as it is not in a rebellious fashion. This is because styles of mowhawks and liberty spikes and such are offensive and project a non-professional appearance as well.
It is a plus for one to have his hair an even brown color (even if he is sixty years old) and parted on the left side.1
her weekly manicure. It would not be acceptable for a woman to wear dark colors such as blue or black.
Only the half-smile is required. The smile the professional wears never has to meet his eyes.
Power suits are the best professional clothing. The more expensive the better. If you do not have a power suit you will not be taken seriously.
Hair:
One must have professional appearing hair.
It does not have to be one's natural hair color as long as it can be accounted for as someone else's natural hair color. This is because unnatural colors of hair such as fire-engine red, or electric blue are offensive and project a rebellious and irresponsible attitude.
The hair can have as much harmful hairspray or goop in it as one would desire as long as it is not in a rebellious fashion. This is because styles of mowhawks and liberty spikes and such are offensive and project a non-professional appearance as well.
It is a plus for one to have his hair an even brown color (even if he is sixty years old) and parted on the left side.1
1If one is balding it is imparitive to either wear a toupee or to comb over the bald spot which further promotes the side part.
Fingernails:
Men:
For some reason it is professional for one to have neat manicurd unpainted fingernails if one is a man. It would be highly grotesque for a man to wear nailpolish.Women:
It is accepted for a woman to have a quarter inch to three quarters inch fingernails painted in the traditional colors of reds, pinks, or light purples, and if not painted at all at least haveher weekly manicure. It would not be acceptable for a woman to wear dark colors such as blue or black.
Make-up:
Men:
It is not allowed for men to wear make-up in most places, but in some cases, such as in front of the camera, it is required to evenly touch up his baked tan skin.Women:
It is acceptable and perfectly professional for a woman to paint her face up like a clown as long as she uses a base foundation and loose powder close to the shade of her baked, or natural, skin color beneath her rouge and rouge-matching lipstick with her goopy mascara and rouge-matching eyes.Smile:
Only the half-smile is required. The smile the professional wears never has to meet his eyes.
Clothing:
Power suits are the best professional clothing. The more expensive the better. If you do not have a power suit you will not be taken seriously.
IMPORTANT:
To be professional is to search out and cut down those who are not. This is a very important duty!2 The unprofessional are usually strange-looking and wierd and we do not understand or like this. If the professional appearing let down their guard who knows what chaos will ensue!2This is especially important if one lives in Oklahoma, USA, Earth, Milky Way, Backwaters of the Universe.
MORE IMPORTANTLY:
If one follows these guidelines then one will be respected. After all it is not what is on the inside that matters as long as we all appear professional.1If one is balding it is imparitive to either wear a toupee or to comb over the bald spot which further promotes the side part.2This is especially important if one lives in Oklahoma, USA, Earth, Milky Way, Backwaters of the Universe.
