The Three Bears
Created | Updated Oct 20, 2010
<html>
<body>
<center>
<h1>Goldielocks and the Three Bears.</h1>
<p>Most people grow up hearing all the little sing-songs and nursery rymes according to what ever culter they were born in. In western civilizations most modern day versions of the stories they heard as a child are a farse, hiding the often horrible and grotesk nature of how they were told in the past. And so now I present to you the classic Goldielocks and the Three Bears <h2> as it was told long ago!!!</h2></P>
<BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/>
<p>Once upon a time there was three bears. The father bear, a 5' grissly who was often angry and went through violent rages; The mother bear who is kinder then the father bear but thats not saying much;... And of course there was Jr. Junior was a giant. A 7' giant that was....alittle slow. How slow you ask? Like 'run forest run' slow. You would spend hours just trying to say something to him.</p>
<p>And so one day Momma Bear cooked up a mean batch of oatmeal. It was good except...except it was missing something. What? We will find out soon enoughe....</p>
<BR/><BR/>
Momma Bear: "Now look gang, I slaved all morning for this so you guys better eat it."
<BR/>
Pappa Bear: "Damn women! It ain't your food I can't stand.... it's you!"
<BR/>
Junior: "Duee.. O-boy some food for the tummy. Thank ya Ma."
<BR/>
Momma Bear: "Now listen! We are all gonna sit hear here and eat are food like a desent family!"
<BR/>
Pappa Bear: "Yeah! Well whats so desent about us? We got no car, no clothes, the niebors all left, Nobody will hirer us cuz wes a bunch a bears, and the only thing we got to eat is this lousy Oatmeal! "
<BR/>
Junior: "Umm.. Duee.. I like Momma's oatmeal."
<BR/>
Momma Bear: "Well thankyou junior." Mamma Bear goes to junior to give him a 'smootchy pootchy' on the cheeck, "O-come here my little pressious."
<BR/>
Pappa Bear: Looks terribly at his no-good family, "I think I'm gonna be sick. I can't eat this anyways... its missing something."
<BR/><BR/><BR/>
<p> And so the three bears go out side to find something hardy to put into the oatmeal. Meanwhile, down the path was a little girl skippin along and singin to herself...do-wa-diddy-diddy-dum-diddy-do...and so forth. Suddenly she came upon a house she never seen before. 'Wow!' she told herself, "I think I will check it out." First thing she saw was the table and the oatmeal still warm. The little B-$%&* ate all three bowls. She never had such good oatmeal before, and never so much in one setting. It made her very tired so she went into the bedroom and crawled into one of the three beds thier.</p>
<BR/><BR/><BR/>
<p> But soon after the three bears were home with no luck.</p>
<BR/>
Pappa Bear: "Jesus! This place don't got nothin to skronge. Hey! Who ate all the damn oatmeal!!!!!!!"
<BR/>
Momma Bear: "O-dear, My bowl is emty, too."
<BR/>
Junior: "Dueee---Yeah! Uh-Someones been eatin my oatmeal."
<BR/>
Pappa Bear: "That does it! First thing tomorrow, were gonin back to Pennsilvanilla. Now I'm dog tired and goin to catch some ZZZZZ......I will kill anyone who makes too much noise." He said that last part looking at Junior.
<BR/>
Momma Bear: "Good idea, Chuck, Lets all take a nap and restore ourselves from are afternoon excursion."
<BR/><BR/><BR/>
<p>But what a surprise they found when they went upstairs to the bedroom....</p>
<BR/>
<BR/>
Pappa Bear: "Wha.. Someones been sleepin in my bed!!!!!!"
<BR/>
Momma Bear: "Y-I'll be a monkeys uncle..... Someone has been sleepin in my bed."
<BR/>
Pappa Bear: "Well you could have fooled me to begin with."
<BR/>
Junior: "Dueeee....Look it!....Ahhh!....Ahhhh!...Someone was sleepin in my bed...And someone.....ahhhh...is still was sleepin in my bed!"
<BR/>
<BR/>
<p> That was all the three bears needed to hear. It was a scary sight for Goldie to awaken to, for sure. CLAWS! TEETH! And momma's cooking utensals. And so Goldielocks got her just deserts, I guess you could say.</p>
<BR/><BR/><BR/>
<p>And so the three bears didn't move back to pennsilvanilla, Pop got a cherry mustang, And oatmeal was renamed 'Golden Goo!'</P>
<BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/>
Don't you just love happy endings?<BR/>
<a href="http://www.h2g2.com/U134671">Back to Harder theys a comin'</a>
</center>
</body>
</html>
<body>
<center>
<h1>Goldielocks and the Three Bears.</h1>
<p>Most people grow up hearing all the little sing-songs and nursery rymes according to what ever culter they were born in. In western civilizations most modern day versions of the stories they heard as a child are a farse, hiding the often horrible and grotesk nature of how they were told in the past. And so now I present to you the classic Goldielocks and the Three Bears <h2> as it was told long ago!!!</h2></P>
<BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/>
<p>Once upon a time there was three bears. The father bear, a 5' grissly who was often angry and went through violent rages; The mother bear who is kinder then the father bear but thats not saying much;... And of course there was Jr. Junior was a giant. A 7' giant that was....alittle slow. How slow you ask? Like 'run forest run' slow. You would spend hours just trying to say something to him.</p>
<p>And so one day Momma Bear cooked up a mean batch of oatmeal. It was good except...except it was missing something. What? We will find out soon enoughe....</p>
<BR/><BR/>
Momma Bear: "Now look gang, I slaved all morning for this so you guys better eat it."
<BR/>
Pappa Bear: "Damn women! It ain't your food I can't stand.... it's you!"
<BR/>
Junior: "Duee.. O-boy some food for the tummy. Thank ya Ma."
<BR/>
Momma Bear: "Now listen! We are all gonna sit hear here and eat are food like a desent family!"
<BR/>
Pappa Bear: "Yeah! Well whats so desent about us? We got no car, no clothes, the niebors all left, Nobody will hirer us cuz wes a bunch a bears, and the only thing we got to eat is this lousy Oatmeal! "
<BR/>
Junior: "Umm.. Duee.. I like Momma's oatmeal."
<BR/>
Momma Bear: "Well thankyou junior." Mamma Bear goes to junior to give him a 'smootchy pootchy' on the cheeck, "O-come here my little pressious."
<BR/>
Pappa Bear: Looks terribly at his no-good family, "I think I'm gonna be sick. I can't eat this anyways... its missing something."
<BR/><BR/><BR/>
<p> And so the three bears go out side to find something hardy to put into the oatmeal. Meanwhile, down the path was a little girl skippin along and singin to herself...do-wa-diddy-diddy-dum-diddy-do...and so forth. Suddenly she came upon a house she never seen before. 'Wow!' she told herself, "I think I will check it out." First thing she saw was the table and the oatmeal still warm. The little B-$%&* ate all three bowls. She never had such good oatmeal before, and never so much in one setting. It made her very tired so she went into the bedroom and crawled into one of the three beds thier.</p>
<BR/><BR/><BR/>
<p> But soon after the three bears were home with no luck.</p>
<BR/>
Pappa Bear: "Jesus! This place don't got nothin to skronge. Hey! Who ate all the damn oatmeal!!!!!!!"
<BR/>
Momma Bear: "O-dear, My bowl is emty, too."
<BR/>
Junior: "Dueee---Yeah! Uh-Someones been eatin my oatmeal."
<BR/>
Pappa Bear: "That does it! First thing tomorrow, were gonin back to Pennsilvanilla. Now I'm dog tired and goin to catch some ZZZZZ......I will kill anyone who makes too much noise." He said that last part looking at Junior.
<BR/>
Momma Bear: "Good idea, Chuck, Lets all take a nap and restore ourselves from are afternoon excursion."
<BR/><BR/><BR/>
<p>But what a surprise they found when they went upstairs to the bedroom....</p>
<BR/>
<BR/>
Pappa Bear: "Wha.. Someones been sleepin in my bed!!!!!!"
<BR/>
Momma Bear: "Y-I'll be a monkeys uncle..... Someone has been sleepin in my bed."
<BR/>
Pappa Bear: "Well you could have fooled me to begin with."
<BR/>
Junior: "Dueeee....Look it!....Ahhh!....Ahhhh!...Someone was sleepin in my bed...And someone.....ahhhh...is still was sleepin in my bed!"
<BR/>
<BR/>
<p> That was all the three bears needed to hear. It was a scary sight for Goldie to awaken to, for sure. CLAWS! TEETH! And momma's cooking utensals. And so Goldielocks got her just deserts, I guess you could say.</p>
<BR/><BR/><BR/>
<p>And so the three bears didn't move back to pennsilvanilla, Pop got a cherry mustang, And oatmeal was renamed 'Golden Goo!'</P>
<BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/>
Don't you just love happy endings?<BR/>
<a href="http://www.h2g2.com/U134671">Back to Harder theys a comin'</a>
</center>
</body>
</html>
