Tenchi CGE: No need for Joa

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Re-edited on 13/06/06 by author.

Chapter 1: No need for a messiah

“We are losing!” yelled the Prompter.

“Pardon” replied Kenji, to busy looking into the darkness of space rather than listen to his Prompter. The two were standing over a table on a space station orbiting the planet of Chinon, a Juraian colony, however the threat was looming so ever closer and they believe they couldn’t hold it for long.

“We are being wiped out” said the prompter, in a quieter voice, as some subordinates were looking in there direction. He then smiled at them.

“So you’ve heard the bad news, then” said Kenji, hoping he wouldn’t have to tell him the bad news.

“The news that the Joa are only a few parsecs from Orléa, that bad news” replied the Prompter.

“No it’s worse than that” replied Kenji, taking a sip of his mauve tea, he then examined the inside of the cup.

“THEY'RE COMING HERE” shouted the Prompter, starring at Kenji, not taking a moment to blink. The entire populous of the room looked at the Prompter.

“No…“said Kenji after taking another sip”…but it’s kind of on the same level”.

“Just tell me” said the Prompter grabbing Kenji on the scruff.

“You know the High Lord Admiral” said Kenji.

“What about him” replied the Prompter, grabbing tighter.

Kenji took a sigh before answering, “he’s dead”.

The Prompter let go and remained still and silent. Kenji turned to a subordinate.

“Can you get me another cup, put more flavour in it this time” asked Kenji, the subordinate walked off, while the rest of them starred at Kenji, waiting for his response.

Once it never came someone asked “what will be your response, Sir”

“We’ll have to appoint a new High Lord Admiral, I’m going to see Lord Funaho to discuss the candidates. Can I ask you all the keep it stumfp though” said Kenji, mainly speaking to the group of reporters that had gathered in the corner.


The nights on Chinon are purple, mainly because of pollution and the fact that Chinon is in binary star system and that the binary star happens to look purple, in the right light. The Governor of Chinon liked the purple sky, what the Governor didn’t like was sharing his manor with the Prince Regent of Jurai.

Kenji met Lord Funaho in an elaborate Baroque office that was completely out of proportion. The room was massive, with huge paintings and graffiti, it had dangling aertex swirls with golden chandeliers. Lord Funaho was sitting on his three-piece sofa looking through the candidates profiles, while Kenji was drinking Lavender tea on a wicker basket.

“This Tenchi bloke looks good” said Funaho admiring the piece of paper with Tenchi’s details on it, as though it was sacred.

“Yeah, but he couldn’t organise a party in a brewery, what chance has he got with the Jurai armada” replied Kenji, looking inside the tea cup. “I suggest you choose Admiral Fenchurch, she’s currently covering our backs in the Compté sector, she’s got the experience and the military training. Funaho swirled Fenchurch’s résumé and then gave it a glance.

“Yes, but it’s Tenchi, the savour of Jurai, without him Kagato would be in charge“.

Kenji, moved closer to Funaho and said in a slow voice “I really doubt Princess Ayeka would allow you to pull Tenchi away from her, she would remove your title and I’ll back where we started”. He then sat back. “In fact have you told her that Jurai has been invaded by the Joa, she’ll have your head on a pike”.

Funaho thought about this, “I agree, bring Admiral Fenchurch to me as quick as you can”. Kenji stood up, bowed courteously and finished his tea.

A few sectors away things were going bad, unimaginarally bad, read for yourself.

“Admiral, we’ve just lost the Tebgu!” shouted the liaison officer over the noises of explosions, electrical sparks, falling trees and fire extinguishers.

“Oh dear...”, Fenchurch slipped off her seat knowing that she’d lost another battleship and thousands of lives.

“We’ve lost the Tratenga”, Fenchurch knew she was losing it, she began crying. A fleet captain walked up the stairs to where Fenchurch was crying.

“Admiral, please” said the fleet captain, “pull yourself together we need you”.

“We’ve lost the Yusu, and the Yoko reports intruders onboard the ship”.

Fenchurch stood up, “Niigata order the fleet to take a defensive stance around Pyre, any ships that are unable to reach the planet should retreat to the nearest friendly planet”.

“Yes Admiral” said Niigata, as he started typing the orders to the fleet at the speed of light.

Fenchurch sat down, the fleet captain walked out of the command centre, after giving each other slight nods.

“Admiral, there is two Jurian battleships entering the sector” said the sensor controller.

“Niigata, tell those ships if there not busy to stand point at the planet Pyre” said Fenchurch, at that point a giant screen popped up, showing the face of Kenji.

“I am Kenji, Admiral Fenchurch, I am ordered to escort you to the planet Chinon immediately, by order of Lord Funaho”.

Fenchurch didn’t care about what Kenji said, she would rather win the battle.

“If your not to busy take up a defensive position at Pyre, otherwise get out of here while you still can”, yelled Fenchurch, she switched the screen off.

“How long until the fleet will regroup?” asked Fenchurch to sensor control.

“forty-five atus admiral” replied sensor control, he was about take another sip of his tea when his monitor filled up with purple dots, and spilled his tea. “Admiral, the Burgens have sent another fleet, they’ll be here in five-hundred atus”.

Fenchurch ran down the stairs to sensor control, “tu-skatzi” she swore and looked in awe at the number of purple dots, “there’s millions of them”. Fenchurch walked back at to her seat, “sound the retreat order, instruct the fleet to Chinon”, she then sat down starred at the floor and said in a quiet voice “we’ve lost”.

Chapter 2: No need for Orléa

“I don’t want to do it” shouted Fenchurch, standing on the stage overlooking an audience of respected Lords and Officers of the Jurai slowly dwindling kingdom.

“Admiral, please I implore you” said Funaho, standing on the other side of the stage.

“I will not do it, I refuse to do it!” replied Fenchurch.

“Come on, just one song” pleaded Funaho.

“I can’t sing that well, and I’m not going to embarrass myself in front of the Royal family” said Fenchurch as she walked off the stage deliberately knocking into Kenji.

Kenji followed her behind the stage, just to ask her a simple question that he asked her when she first arrived, but still she gave no response.

“Admiral Fenchurch…”

She turned around quickly to interrupt him, “No” she yelled, she walked closer to him “listen, just give a few extra ships, I can retake the Compté system”, she then turned to Kenji looking for a response.

“The Compté system” he said, “I don’t care about that”

“YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT THAT”, Fenchurch yelled, she walked up to him and grabbed his scruff. He began to wonder why people do this to him, as this was the second time this week someone was had threatened him. “Listen you pencil-pusher, I’ve been defending that system for five sodding years against the Nubs, the Kais, the Kaisers and the Burgens, and that’s not including all the internal squabbles I’ve settled. I’ve negotiated peace treaties, held governor elections and represented the Jurai military for over 1.5 million Jurians that are now being bossed around by people who can’t see the colour purple properly just because you lot wouldn’t send reinforcements”.

Fenchurch released him, as she knew the stress was getting to her, she sat down on a chest. Kenji knew the information he was about to tell her was classified however it was the only way to sway her mind and to win the argument.

“What about the threat that an extra one billion Jurians will be living under Joa rule by the end of the week” he said.

“What?” Fenchurch replied starring at Kenji without blinking.

“What about the threat that an extra one billion Jurians will be living under Joa rule by the end of the week” he said again, he then explained, “an armada of Joanion fleets is heading for Orléa and will arrive in three days time”, he then cleared any miscommunications, “that’s Orlése days not Chino days, which probably doesn’t mean to much to you”.

He nodded then walked away.

“Hang on a minute” shouted Fenchurch to Kenji, she then followed him.

He turned around, “an Orlése minute or a Chino minute”.

She ignored him, “what do you plan to do about it?” she asked.

“I don’t know, that is up to you” replied Kenji, he then continued walking.

She starred out the ground for a bit, considering her options, there wasn’t many, she decided to accept Kenji’s offer. She ran to find Lord Funaho.

“Lord Funaho” she said, as she kneeled in front of him “I accept your offer to become the position of High Lady Admiral of the Jurai military”, then she muttered under her breath “well, what’s left of it”.

“Ooh good, it means Princess Ayeka won’t rip my head off” said Funaho cheerfully as he walked out onto the stage ready for his number.

Kenji appeared in front of Fenchurch, “High Admiral, your ordered to the Blois system, where you will rendezvous with the Jurai armada, you may charge for Orléa from there”.

Fenchurch stood up, “Fine, I’ll take my fleet, I’ll be there by tomorrow”.

“NO, that’s not quick enough” angered Kenji, although he turned back into his normal neutral self. “Tsunami’s in orbit, she’ll be your ship for now on, you’ll be in Blois in a couple of hours”.

Fenchurch looked in awe and began to stutter, “the flagship of Jurai”, she began to shake and release what she was taking on.

Kenji said some other things but Fenchurch didn’t listen, she was still in shock.

Fenchurch began to realise what she was talking on and asked a really important question while kenji was still speaking “Hang on a minute, why me?”.

Kenji of course didn’t have a clue what she just said, but as time ticked on and the silence continued , he came up with spiel to make himself look less ignorant.

“After consolidating all the facts, it was based on performance that…” Kenji moved his arms around looking for words “…err…after an impendent inquiry that…err…the best option was to consolidate the facts and in my humble opinion that was a good idea”. kenji crossed his arms and made a smirk that would make Ian Beale jealous.

“Eh?” replied Fenchurch

“Sorry, what did you say?” asked kenji

“Why me?” she quickly clarified the question before he made a sarcastic comment “Why did Lord Funaho, place me in a charge of the Jurai armada?”

Kenji came up with more spiel that most spin doctors and PR executives would be proud of “…well based on your experience in the Compté system and your epic strategies in the face of combat…”.

Fenchurch interrupted “What codswallop, Admiral Chelsea of the Provence system is far more qualified than I am, even Admiral Brentford can operate a fleet better than I can”.

“You shouldn’t put yourself down, you’re a good admiral” said kenji with overwhelming optimism.

“Tell that to the people of Tyre and Compté Prime”.

Just as she said that, Funaho finished his song, and so kenji went to congratulate him. Fenchurch tried to yell at kenji but couldn’t be heard over the round of applause. She went over to Tsunami, the flagship of Jurai standing near the drinks counter.

“So are you Tsunami?” asked Fenchurch

“I take it your Fenchurch, would you like a drink” she asked

“No thank you”, replied Fenchurch, an awkward silence followed before Fenchurch said something “Do you know I’m now in charge of the Jurai armada?”

“No” said Tsunami taking a sip of ice tea, she then glanced inside the cup.

More Silence followed

“So where are you parked then” asked Fenchurch

“In orbit…near the station” she said.

The crowd went quiet as Kenji began singing badly.

“Do you want to leave now?” asked Tsunami paying for her drinks.

“If you don’t mind” replied Fenchurch

“It means you won’t find an answer to your question” said Tsunami
“Yes, but it’s not important for me to remain until the end of the song”

As Fenchurch walked away, Kenji smiled and began singing with more conviction.

Tsunami’s bridge was the most beautiful forest that Fenchurch had ever seen. It was wonderful mix of confers, deciduous trees and solar panels. Fenchurch looked up, and saw bright stars that had been amplified by the glass. The command chair was on top of a step-pyramid in front of Tsunami’s tree which had been removed from Jurai before it’s fall. The tree was the greenest thing Fenchurch had ever seen. People were standing in behind there consoles while Fenchurch walked up to the command chair. When she sat down, so did everyone else. She then stood up, so did everyone else.

“Alright guys this is the plan…” shouted Fenchurch, Tsunami whispered to her “the chair has a microphone, me lady”.

“Yes, but if I stand up it makes me look more powerful and when I speak, gives me more conviction” she whispered back.

Tsunami stood there with a confused look, and then shook her head for a bit.

“…anyway, were going to rendezvous with the Jurai armada at Blois then we are ordered to Orléa in case the Joa intend to attack” shouted Fenchurch “any questions?”

Some geezer at the bottom of the pyramid stuck his hand up and spoke into his microphone “err…High Admiral”, he took a while to think of an operate title as the last leader was a High Lord Admiral, so this made her a High Lady Admiral which sounded silly. “When Kenji told us our mission this morning, he said we were ordered there because the people of Orléa were demoralised after months of air raids and the Jurai military weren’t doing much about it”

“Well he told me that the Joa armada was being sent there to conquer the planet, and I was ordered to stop it.” yelled Fenchurch in reply.

Everyone starred at Fenchurch and then she realised she fell into a verbal trap.

“Oops” said Fenchurch sitting down on her chair.

“Why did you lie?” replied a subordinate.

“the truth sounded demoralising” she replied into her microphone. “Helmsman, take us to Blois please”

“Excuse me” said Tsunami, “I pilot this ship, I’m not letting anyone forcing me to go anywhere”

“Sorry” said Fenchurch, “I completely forgot, Tsunami, please will you kindly take us to Blois”

“Yes, High Lady Admiral” Tsunami replied as the dots outside the sunroof turned into streaks.

The flight was too long thought Fenchurch, she was having a really bad day, she had managed to insult half the crew by accident, and lie to the rest. She had decided to go to her room in order to stop hurting people, stuck her head under a pillow and cry.


Blois was a lovely small cerulean blue planet, which Tsunami hated, she found it really difficult to park in orbit around small planets with great big ozone layers. Fenchurch like them, she felt really strong on low gravity planets, and you could walk further without getting tired or fall from high buildings without bruising to much. When Fenchurch trained for the Jurai military it was on a low gravity planet, she once got into a fight with another girl over the love of a fellow student. When Fenchurch hit her with a chair, she flew fifteen feet (or five metres to continental Europe readers) into a wall.

Fenchurch, Tsunami and the two people on the ship she hadn’t managed insult, lie to or injure walked into a seedy space bar in which the fleet captains had decided to call GHQ until Tsunami arrived. Even when Tsunami arrived, they weren’t ready to leave the GHQ.

“The Joa fleet are a matter of days away from Orléa” said Fenchurch to rather stubborn fleet captain, who was mildly tipsy compared to his fellow Fleet Captains.

“It doesn’t matter, I never liked that grey planet anyway” said the Fleet Captain taking a swag of Mead“ it was very dull”

“Well I think one billion people happen to like it very much” said Fenchurch getting really angry, Tsunami decided to try her luck, since she was famous.

“Excuse me…” said Tsunami before she was interrupted.

“Well your hot for a tree, we don’t we settle down here babe, we can get engaged and raise saplings” garbled the Fleet Captain before him and his mates began laughing.

“How dare you speak to the saviour of Jurai like that, I ought to punish you right here and now” shouted Fenchurch.

“It’s unbecoming of you babe” replied the Fleet Captain, in response Fenchurch whipped out her two-handed light sword and severed his hand which was holding his Mead glass.

“Get back to your ship before I slice your other hand off, or something slightly more important”

“Yes ma’am” said the fleet captain, picking up his hand heading for his ship.

“And that goes for the rest of you” said one of the security guards that was on Fenchurch’s ‘persons that I haven’t insulted yet’ list.

Fenchurch looked at him with a glancing stare “I wanted to say that” she said without blinking.

“Sorry Grand Admiral”

“High Lady Admiral”

“Sorry again, my High Lady Admiral” he said, as he turned around and began to cry solemnly.


...and so the armada was on it’s way to Orléa, the following morning the fleet captains were forced to meet Fenchurch onboard Tsunami, and none of them were looking forward to it, apart from Fleet Captain Niigata who wasn’t there at the time. The Fleet Captains walked in one by one and sat around a round table with a tree in the centre, when Fleet Captain Niigata walked in, Fenchurch cuddled him tightly.

“How you doing, Niigata” Said Fenchurch letting him go from her death grip.

“Well after the battle of Compté, I was posted to a new fleet which became part of the Jurai armada. I haven’t seen you for a day”.

“Finally I have a friend onboard” she said to herself, before laughing.

“Alright everyone…before I start how is the hand?”

“I don’t know, I dropped it the way to my ship and I’ve comply lost it. A Nark probably ate it by now. I must apologise for my behaviour, I must have had too much to drink”

“I must apologise as well, I had a bad day yesterday, well in fact it hasn’t been a good week altogether. Why didn’t you grow a new one?”

“I don’t want a new one, it was my fault, I must be punished”

Fenchurch decided to leave it at that, after giving him a strange look “anyway…if any of you lot decide to do that again…” quickly adding “on duty”, just in case Niigata remembered a certain event on Compté Prime. “I’ll probably won’t hack one of your limbs off, but I will punish you severely. Now I know we all got off on the wrong foot so let’s forget the whole incident…” as she said this she was looking a missing hand from a certain Fleet Captain “…and start things afresh. I’m High Lady Admiral Fenchurch, and this is Tsunami, although you probably already know that. Any questions?”

“What’s the plan when we arrive at Orléa, High…Lady…Admiral” said a Fleet Captain with a strong resemblance to the geezer on the bridge, who also thought that High Lady Admiral was silly title.

“Well…” Fenchurch was interrupted.

“High Lady Admiral we under attack from a Burgen fleet” said a PA. Fenchurch nodded at Tsunami and they were both transported to the bridge.

“tell the aft fleet to about face and open fire” Fenchurch turned her attentions to another subordinate “order the fore and dorsal fleets to encompass…”

The Sensor controller interrupted her “The fleet are retreating”

“Well that was easy, why didn’t we see them coming Sensor controller” yelled Fenchurch.

“I didn’t see them until they opened fire, they must have invented a new technology to hide there ships” he replied.

“Can I have a battle report, please”

A screen appeared in front of Fenchurch and Tsunami showing that no ships had been lost although two ships engines were disabled and could no longer continue onto Orléa.

“Order the ships which have disabled engines back to Blois, they can make it on the galactic currents” said Fenchurch, the screen disappeared “well I don’t know about you but I’m tired”.

“I’m tree, as long as there’s light, I’m fine” replied Tsunami “Good night High Lady Admiral”

For the first time that week, Fenchurch didn’t cry herself to sleep. However during her sleep the Burgen fleet attacked again.

“aft…" she yawned then continued "…fleet turn back and the starboard and port fleets to encompass…”

“The fleet has withdrawn” said the Sensor Controller.

“Tsunami read the battle report take necessary actions, I’m going back to bed” she said as she yawned.

The next morning the fleet attacked twice, by the afternoon Fenchurch needed to do something about it.

“Were breaking the armada formation” said Fenchurch confidently, both Tsunami and Niigata nodded in agreement with the decision.

“Why?” said Fleet Captain Kamata, who is the bridge geezer’s older bro which Fenchurch wasn’t shocked to find out.

“Is everyone in the Honcho family this idiotic when it comes to asking questions” said Fenchurch to Tsunami, but intentionally did so everyone would hear.

“So the Burgen fleet will stop slowing the whole armada down which is what the Joa want, so there armada can reach Orléa first. I’ve calculated, well my subordinates have calculated that the Joa fleet will arrive a maximum of one kiloatus before we do, and every attack is reducing that time. We must split the armada.”

...And so the armada was split, the fleets still in formation although there bigger distances between them. So it was only a matter of time, before one the fleets was attacked, and it was.

“The Port fleet is under attack from the Burgen fleet”

“Tell Fleet Captain Kamata to engage them in direct combat and make sure the Burgen fleet doesn’t retreat. How long until we reach Orléa anyone”

“Two kiloatus” said the sensor controller.

“What about the Joa armada?”

“What about it?”

“How long until they reach Orléa?”

“Three kiloatus, although they’ve increased there speed”

“Tsunami, I want to communicate with all the Fleet Captains”

“Do you really?” replied Tsunami

“Please don’t muck about”

Screens appeared with the shocked images of Fleet Captains who didn’t realise there was a screen with Fenchurch on them, looking anxious.

“This is the plan, the dorsal and aft fleets will hide behind the star of Orléa and the others behind that gas giant, the name of which I can’t pronounce but it’s that really big one with the pretty cloud formations”. The Fleet captains nodded and the screens disappeared.

“Pretty clouds” Fenchurch then said to herself, “why did I say pretty clouds?”

“Maybe the stress is getting to you” said Tsunami, startling Fenchurch who forgot she was standing there.


When the Joa armada arrived they were surprised to find…nothing. The Orléa defence system was on-line and firing pot-shots at them since they were too far away for them to target. The armada spread out to begin bombarding the planet.

“It must be a trap, surely” barked a Joa subordinate to the Grand Admiral.

“They’re hiding from us, no matter, continue the bombardment…”

“Grand Admiral, the armada has appeared from the Orlése sun”.

“Good, once we’ve wiped out the armada of Jurai, all there planets will fall into hands”, he then gave out an evil stereotypical laugh and then began coughing as a fly flew into his throat. He then asked for a glass of Oxygen dihydrate.


“Continue the charge” yelled Fenchurch after she received the first battle report.

“Tsunami, let’s give the starboard fleet a hand”

“Don’t you already owe the starboard fleet captain a hand”

“Shut up” Fenchurch replied


“Sir, Tsunami’s appeared from behind the star”

“What” said the Grand Admiral “I thought we destroyed it when we took Jurai”

“She’s firing up her light hawk wings”

“Call the retreat, we’ll fight them another day” replied the Grand Admiral, after he gave yet another evil stereotypical laugh. One of his servants put a glass of water on stand by.

Chapter 3: No need for Fleet Captain Hire

Fleet Captain Hire looked at the end of his arm, where there was nothing. He felt ashamed to grow a new one yet embarrassed to leave the arm as it is. He thought about getting a hook or a grapple, however he thought those would be heavy and decided against it.

“We're holding a funeral for the crew of the Yucaipa tonight, it would be grateful if you could honour them” said Kashmir to Hire, except Hire was to busy looking at his limb to listen. “Sir…Sir”

“Sorry, what?” replied Hire

“How dare you?, the crew of the cruiser Yucaipa are all dead and your too busy about your hand to care”, they then starred at each other and then Kashmir stormed off.


Fenchurch loved Orléa and Orléa loved Fenchurch. The planet was incomplete celebration as the Jurai military moved there headquarters back there under request of the High Lady Admiral herself. The Jurai armada had pushed back the front lines away from Orléa ending after months of constant orbital bombardments. Parties were held in her honour and calling for a liberated Jurai, once word of these parties reached Chinon, Lord Funaho and Kenji went there to discuss the current situation with Fenchurch and to get some attention.

“You still haven’t told me why?” said Fenchurch when Kenji walked into the war room on Orléa. Kenji didn’t have a clue what she was talking about, and tried to stay as far as possible away from her.

“Told her what?” said Lord Funaho

“I don’t know” shouted Kenji from the other side of the room.

Fenchurch walked over to him, Kenji walked around the elliptical table which showed a holographic star map of the Milky Way keeping Fenchurch on the opposite side.

“Why are you after me?” yelped Kenji.

“We had a deal” shouted Fenchurch.

“Did we” said kenji standing still with his confident posture.

Fenchurch then walked up to him, grabbed his scruff of neck and shouted at him “I saved Orléa from the Joa armada and you’ll give me a fleet to retake the Compté system.

“No we didn’t” said kenji, trying to look confident, however Fenchurch just grabbed harder. “I told you about the plight of Orléa and you just popped off”.

“That’s before I came back to ask you why you choose me to be the High Admiral” she said yelling louder.

“Can you stop shouting in my ear”

“Shut up, and tell me what I want to know”

Kenji and everyone else looked confused.

“I’ll rephrase that, stop side tracking and tell me why you made me High Admiral?”

“If I tell you will you let me go” replied Kenji.

“I thought that would be obvious”.

“We didn’t want to disturb Princess Ayeka” said Funaho looking inside a cup of tea.

“What do you mean?” asked Fenchurch.

“Originally we wanted Tenchi” taking a slurp “Kenji then reminded me, we haven’t told Princess Ayeka about the fall of Jurai…oops”

“idiot” cried Kenji

“You haven’t told the ruler of Jurai that her home world has fallen!” yelled Fenchurch. Everyone the room gasped at the thought. “that is treason!”

Fleet Captain Hire walked in, however no one seemed to care. The room was silent, and Hire was to afraid to ask what was going on. He wouldn’t of guessed High Lady Admiral Fenchurch has accused Lord Funaho of treason.

Kenji thought of a way to turn the situation around, however nothing came up, so he started mouthing the best examples of spin.

“What’s wrong with him?” whispered Hire to a subordinate starring into space in a silent room.

“He’s a fish of water” he whispered back.

“I don’t get the metaphor” replied Hire.

“We wanted to protect the honour of Jurai” said Kenji finally. “Princess Ayeka placed Funaho in charge until she finally plucks up the courage to marry that Yosho bloke’s offspring”.

This made Fenchurch even more angrier than she already was, Tsunami moved into position ready to hold her back. “For one, the Princess left with much indication and secondly Lord Tenchi saved Jurai from that burke who had half the people in this room arrested during the coup…”

Kenji tried to interrupt but Fenchurch continued “…so get your facts right and show some respect to the people who deserve it”.

Fenchurch then stormed out, leaving Kenji in a particularly negative situation which he was unused to being in, Lord Funaho however didn’t understand what all that was about and kept quiet to protect his ignorance. Hire on the other hand had no ignorance to protect.

“Can someone explain to me what all that was about?” asked Hire.

“Something you wouldn’t understand” yelled Kashmir from the other side of the room.

“Try me?”

“I’d rather not waste my time” said Kashmir as he stormed out.

Kenji tut-tut himself, thinking of a really witty remark however the moment passed, so he ran down the corridor to find Fenchurch.

The war room remained silent.

“Anyone for a pint, first rounds mine” said Lord Funaho after lingering stares began scarring him.


Fenchurch cried yet again in her room, she felt betrayed by more or less everyone. After a while she got a headache however although she could withstand the pain it didn’t help the situation. She managed to quell any thoughts from the Joa that Orléa will fall and improved the morale of the reducing Jurai military, then they all betrayed her. Fenchurch was not the person to act out revenge unless they really hurt her, and kenji went to far this time.

“We are not only trying to restore peace and the liberation of Jurai, but are fighting for truth and all that’s good in the universe. How can I do that when you lie to Princess Ayeka in order to keep yourself in power?”

Kenji didn’t expect this question, he imaged she would ask him yet again about why she was chosen, but now she came up with this unanswerable question which he couldn’t respond to easily. He decided to answer her original question anyway.

“Do you know why you were chosen?” kenji asked.

“Answer my question first, then answer yours”

Kenji paused to think of response, the best he could come up with was “look over there” and ran away. Fenchurch felt insulted.


“If we destroy the Joa dreadnoughts, the fleet will have to withdraw from the Loire system” said Fleet Commodore Salome.

This made Fleet Captain Hire happy. Hire was raised in the Loire system, on the second planet until he reached four and on the fourth planet until he reached age three (Due to the orbits of planets, this is possible). He then remained on the third planet until he retired from Loire-sector University and joined the Jurai military. Most of his training was spent on the floor of the seediest space bar in the whole galaxy, he rose up the ranks by using a system of pulleys and hand-me-downs which no one else would accept. Once he got so drunk and insulted two female high ranking officials, so one of them cut his hand off, and as a sign of respect, kept it off.

“If only we knew where they were?” asked Hire.

A holographic star map appeared in the war room and three red blobs appeared on the screen surrounded by littler red dots. The room became silent until someone made a obvious point.

“Those blobs are the dreadnoughts, guv”

“Well narghhh” said Hire sarcastically “and you can stop calling me guv as well, and now you come to mention it stop using foul language when there’s women in the room”

“And you would know all about that!” he replied

“I can have you executed for that remark” yelled Hire, “get out before I’ll do exactly that”

“Your all talk and no words” he said as he stormed out, the doors were now particularly upset that people were keeping on storming out. So they began playing ancient Juraian classical music to calm people down.

Fenchurch walked in, still looking miserable and upset. She walked to the centre table and pressed some buttons to cheer herself up. Hire walked over too her…

“Turn that naffing music off” shouted Fenchurch to the doors. The doors did so without question.

…he stopped and turned back.

“You were to scarred to ask her?” whispered Salome to Hire

“shut up” he replied insincerely.

“High Admiral Fenchurch” Hire shouted with the sound of fear in his voice.

“What?” she yelled back

“well if you’ve got nothing planned…” spoke Hire with sheer terror, he coughed to cover the silence”…I recommend we destroy the dreadnoughts of the Loire system, then the system would fall to Fleet Admiral Hiroshima and his task force”.

“That would never work” informed Fenchurch, “those…”

“The sector two reports, high admiral” said a subordinate who barged in and interrupted her. She starred him off and he retreated out of the room. She looked at the reports vigorously, she then chucked it to the other side of the room.

“baka”* was her only response before she pressed some more buttons. Hire decided to end the conversation.


Fenchurch was cordially invited to enjoy a dinner at Lord Funaho’s palace, her response was remember able one, especially to the messenger who told her as she punched him. Hire went to the dinner in order to speak to Fenchurch, however he met some resistance as she wasn’t there.

“Are you sure she’s not here?” barked Hire to the doorman.

The doorman replied back in a drone monotonous voice “Yes sir, I’m sure she’s not here”, he began rubbing his bruise on his chest.

“When she’s coming here?”

He continued in his boring voice, “I quote her in saying”, he coughed and then shouted in quick angry voice “I’m not even going near that place until that lying git and his nark leave, and preferably never come back”.

“Do you know where I can find her?”

“Your asking the wrong person, sir”


Normally Fenchurch wouldn’t consider running away, or ‘pulling a Yosho’ as it became known however, this was a different situation. The Juraian way of life was about to die out and the only people who could stop it are in the hands of bureaucrats who think they can solve every problem with a party, so she began packing up her stuff on Tsunami.

“So where will you go?” asked Tsunami

“Anywhere that the galactic police patrol, I hear the backwater planet Princess Ayeka settled on is quite nice”

“After the Joa have finished with Jurai, they’ll go after the GP and there systems”.

“Fine, I’ll go to another galaxy, find a remote planet and make sandwiches for a living”, Fenchurch closed her suitcase and faced Tsunami. “Well you’ve been a great ship and friend, sayonara”, Tsunami just shook her head.


After Fenchurch took off, Hire barged onto Tsunami’s bridge and barked “where on Jurai is Fenchurch?”, it was late afternoon and he was getting tired.

“Don‘t barge onto me barking and screaming” said solemnly Tsunami standing by her tree, pruning it with a pair of scissors. “She’s left, heading towards Galaxy Police space, I think she‘s heading for that planet where princess Ayeka is residing”.

“we’ve got to get her back!”

“do we?”

“Yes, we do?” barked kenji, barging onto the bridge

“I really wish people would stop doing that”

“stop what?” asked Kenji

“Come onto my bridge barking and screaming like you own the place” said Tsunami, pointing at them with the sharp end of the scissors.

“anyway, despite the fact Fenchurch is the most annoying person I’ve ever met…”

“She said the same about you” replied Tsunami with a glorious smirk.

Kenji continued “she is the only person with the…” kenji wafted the air to look for words ”…strategy and err…inspiration to liberate Jurai”

Tsunami added “that and the fact you don’t want to tell Princess Ayeka about the whole Joa thing”.

Hire nodded and Kenji just ignored the remark. “Tsunami, set course for Fenchurch’s cruiser”

“No, you set course Fenchurch’s ship, I’m not your lap nark” replied Tsunami as she began preening again. After a few minutes of awkward silence she activated her engines.


On one of the Joa dreadnoughts the Grand Admiral of the Joa was pleased with what he was seeing, although severely confused.

“Is Tsunami breaking orbit of Orléa alone” said the Grand Admiral.

“It must be a trap Grand Admiral”.

“If we can destroy Tsunami, the rest of the Jurain systems will surely fall”.

“May I remind the glorious Grand Admiral” said a goon who recently replaced another goon who had been executed by the Grand Admiral, with tears of fear running down his cheeks “Tsunami destroyed two fleets alone, during the battle for the Jurai, a world which you personally captured using a finely executed strategy…”

“Shut up, I know what I’m doing” barked the Grand Admiral with confidence and pure hatred.

The goon was afraid to ask him how exactly they planned to destroy Tsunami, Kenji would have said with skill and great cunning but the Grand Admiral said with brute force. The goon wrote his will in his mind.


“…Fenchurch howhere!!!” said Hire without much conviction.

“Is that your argument” replied Fenchurch on a massive screen which covered half of Tsunami’s dome walls.

“How about I answer your questions?” asked Kenji.

“That’ll do me fine” replied Fenchurch

Silence roomed apart from Tsunami’s leaves which were rustling in wind of her ventilation system.

“We’ll pick you up” said kenji with less conviction than Hire “I’ll tell you anything”. Kenji hated telling the truth he’d rather sing, dance or bribe than tell the truth. He couldn’t get out of it now, he must tell the truth.

“I’d better hurry up” said Tsunami.

“Why?” asked Hire.

“The Joa armada are énroute completely bypassing the frontlines and heading straight for me…there trying crudely to hide behind certain star gravities…it would be quite clever if there ships didn’t emit the same amount of energies as those stars”.

“I’m heading for you at top speed” shouted Fenchurch as though she was yelling across space to them, “if I don’t make it get out of there”.

“it’s alright I can take them on” said Tsunami confidently “it’s you I’m worried about”.

“That’s very kind of you” replied Fenchurch.

Another screen appeared, smaller with the face of Fleet Captain Niigata, he didn’t bother with the standard optimistic approach which was standard for most admirals and fleet captains.

“You’re all dead if you don’t move it!” he shouted.

“If you’ve got nothing good to say, don’t bother speaking” said Kenji in his neutral voice in between his tea sipping.

“Is High Admiral Fenchurch onboard yet” yelled Hire to Tsunami, Tsunami just stared at him and thinking to herself “How would I naffing know”. She just replied politely “no”.

At that point a long range graviton beam whacked Tsunami, she fell over and screamed. The power flickered on and off. She felt disoriented as Hire helped her up, Kenji just had the look that he couldn’t have cared less, the look of complete ignorance.

“Can you put your Light hawk wings up” asked Hire.

Tsunami almost took this an offence, but realised he was just trying to help. He held as she could barely stand up. “I…”, Tsunami could barely speak. Just then another beam struck, she screamed again and fell out of Hire’s arms. She then yelled in pain “I can’t activate my Light hawk wings otherwise Fenchurch wouldn’t be able to board.

Fenchurch saw what was happening on Tsunami, she felt the guilt as an axe in the back. She increased power to the engines, using every Watt available from every system available. She rammed the ship towards Tsunami faster than most Tachyons. Tsunami just managed to open the doors in time before Fenchurch flew into the hanger.

“She’s in” said Tsunami starring at the wall as though she was blind. She stood up, activating her Light hawk wings and began glowing. Tsunami fired a Light hawk beam towards one of the dreadnoughts completely blowing it up. The first of the Joa fighter squadrons attacked Tsunami however the lasers just reflected off the wings. She fired another beam at another dreadnought, however she just disabled it. More fighters joined in with the first squadron and some of the large cruisers opened fire. The power on Tsunami began flickering more rapidly, kenji’s cup and sorcer began shacking as he became slightly concerned for his well being.

“Tsunami, what are we still doing here?” shouted Fenchurch without the slightest bit of concern of what was now going on around the ship.

“I’m a bit busy at the moment” replied Tsunami

“GET US OUT OF HERE” said Fenchurch slowly but loudly.

“I agree” said Tsunami looking at the stars above her head, which became stretched out as she speed up towards the speed of light.

“Go go go go” shouted kenji dropping his tea on Tsunami’s plush grass floor. He then looked around as though nothing had happened when people started starring at him.

The Joa armada followed Tsunami as she retreated towards Orléá, the Jurai armada were intercepting them from the other direction, the following battle would be between the two biggest empires in the galaxy and the outcome would either be death to the Jurai or the annex of Joa, read the next chapter to the prelude of battle.

Chapter IV: No need for an uprising

Tsunami raced towards the Jurai armada at several times the speed of light, the only surviving Joa dreadnought occasionally firing graviton beams towards them. Tsunami occasionally dodged the beams, however whenever one did hit Tsunami screamed in pain and she slowed down. High Admiral Fenchurch knew she had to keep her conscience or they’ll stop, she also needed a plan to speed up.

“Hire, keep on prodding her if you have to” said Admiral Fenchurch passing up and down the stars rubbing her hands together trying to think. Tsunami was lying by her tree, some leaves were falling off as the power was flickering. Hire was sitting next to her, prodding her with his only remaining arm.

Kenji had asked one of the subordinates who wasn’t clinging onto her console to fetch a cup of tea. She then replied “Now is not the time”, he then asked “when was the time?”. She then made him a cup of tea.

“There is a wormhole in a nearby star system” shouted the sensor controller.

Fenchurch jumped some hedges to reach sensor control in order to get there quickly. “Yes” shouted Fenchurch in glee, “where does it go?”

“It’s an unstable wormhole, we could end up anywhere” replied the sensor controller.

“Hire” shouted Fenchurch

“No I’m over there” replied Kenji, he then hung his head in shame.

“Tell Tsunami to head towards the wormhole towards that close Orangey-yellow star”

Hire nodded in response, “Tsunami, did you here that”

Tsunami turned towards Hire and nodded slowly, the star streaks above them changed direction as Tsunami changed course. As look would have it, as soon as Tsunami flew into the wormhole it disappeared leaving the Joa fleet ready for the battle for the galaxy. “Where are we then?” asked Kenji.

“Ironically enough were in the middle of Jurai space, well ex-Jurai space which is now occupied by the Joa”.

“How far to Orléa?” asked Hire.

“To be fair Jurai is closer to us than Orléa, I say we let Tsunami regenerate then make a run for it” said Fenchurch hopping the hedges back to the command chair.

Kenji’s eyes lighted up, he had the thought of the century.

“We could take Jurai!” he said amidst the silence. The bridge then erupted in laughter, even Tsunami smirked half unconscious.

“Seriously, we ought to find a strong magnetic field to hide behind” said Fenchurch hopping over the hedges to reach sensor control.

“I’m being serious” said Kenji, “we could liberate some planets in the area, and use there resources to retake Jurai, think of the prestige, the glory, the mentioning in history. Stories will be told of how the first crew of Tsunami saved Jurai”.

“Back in the real universe” said Fenchurch, “there is a pulsar just around the corner which we can hide behind”

“What corner” asked Kenji.

“Didn’t you know the universe was spherical?” replied Fenchurch.

“High Admiral, we’re receiving a distress call, from about three different planets” said the communications official who hadn’t said much until now, just popping up massive screens whenever anybody wanted to speak to someone else. She wasn’t used to people on audio signals, so there was an eerie sense of panic in her voice “The Rhiems resistance, the resistance group of Chalón and the independent Jurai front of Troy all wish to speak to Tsunami”. Tsunami just wafted her hand towards the Communications official as though she couldn’t care less.

“They all want Tsunami to help liberate Jurai, then Tsunami replied she couldn’t be bothered and can they speak to her in a few hundred atus”.

They all looked at Tsunami who just wafted her hand at them. They decided to call it a day until she regenerated.


“I felt really refreshed after that” said Fenchurch waling onto the bridge.

“I feel more stable and less ominous after that” said Tsunami leaning against her tree.

Kenji barged onto the bridge with a subordinate pushing a tea trolley, who then sat at the communications console, and pressed some buttons to be useful.

“Alright, everyone that’s important is here” said Fenchurch looking around and rubbing her hands in perpetual glee, “let’s make a run for the border if it’s still there”. Tsunami nodded and engaged.

Kenji decided to make a stand, however Fenchurch kept on interrupting deliberately, so he couldn’t speak.


“Nice stellar rift, up there” said Fenchurch pointing up there.


“let’s have a look at that lovely Pulsar”

A screen showing a pulsar popped up incorporating half the wall.


“It’s very pretty”

Kenji decided this wasn’t getting very far, so he shout at a level that would echo the ship for days to come, “Liberate those worlds and I’ll let you tell Ayeka”

Everyone looked at Fenchurch, who then swivelled on her chair, contemplating her response. “How about I don’t liberate those worlds until I have enough resources and just tell Princess Ayeka anyway”. She then gave kenji a sly look.

“Because Lord Funaho will get you done for treason”

“Then Princess Ayeka will get you and Lord Funaho done for treason”.

The bargaining table was open, Kenji had to make an offer that Fenchurch or anyone else could not refuse. He then remembered the map activated the war room. “I’ll let you capture the Loire system”.

Hire walked forward, and stood by kenji, who then smirked towards Fenchurch. He then let out the final blow, “and the Compté sector”. Fenchurch stood up. “I’ll make it nice and kosher, then you can resign as high admiral and go back to your little planets while I’ll remain in power”. He roared in evil laughter.

“Deal” said Fenchurch, “Tsunami, are you in?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Yes” said Fenchurch insincerely.

Everyone looked at Tsunami, Tsunami looked at everyone although with more fear.

“Fine, what would you like me to do?” Tsunami asked regrettably.

“Can you speak to one of those resistance groups that you were rude to yesterday?” said Kenji.

“Do I have to?” said Tsunami to Fenchurch.

Fenchurch just shrugged her shoulders.

“…and tell them you’ll be willing to help them in anyway possible”

“…or I could just show up guns blazing, destroy the Joa guard and then you can go off and kill the governor” said Tsunami sarcastically.

“That’s a good plan” said Hire, both him and Tsunami exchanged blushes.

“I agree” said Fenchurch, just to spite Kenji.

“You’ll do anything to spite me!” said Kenji.

People shook there heads in a mass display of sarcasm.

“Tsunami set course for Chalón, please” said Fenchurch.


The sky was stormy over the capital of Chalón. Thunder streaked the sky, no one was on the street apart from the Joa martial guard as a curfew was in affect. They were getting hit by the graphite rain which was a bizarre thing to be hit by, well not on this planet. The guard marched in formation when they noticed a bright light in the sky, it could be seen through the black clouds of solid-carbon.

The Joa general stopped his unit, when the light became of significant concern to stop his unit. The light then streaked across the sky towards the Joa command centre which was as high as mountain and could be seen on the horizon. The light hovered over the mountain and fired a beam, which caused the centre to blow up. Sirens then echoed the city, as anti-aircraft batteries opened fire on the bright light, the light dodged most of the blasts as it headed for orbit.

The general then waited for his orders, but received no word. Him and his unit stood there and watched the skies as beams of light rained down on Joa installations along with the graphite rain. Some Juraians watched from there windows and cheered every explosion of Joa. The barracks blew up, the temple to the religion of Joa exploded and when the Sulphur mines were hit, it emitted an awful smell. After all the batteries were hit, the bright light then became beneath the clouds, when it came closer the Juraians at the windows recognised the object then cried out and shouted “Tsunami, Tsunami”. The ships speakers then echoed the city.

“This is Tsunami…in case you didn’t already know…people of Chalón, stand up against your Joa oppressors and fight while my mate Kenji here drinks his tea”.

A purple light sword then appeared in front of the general’s face, “I don’t suppose you wish to surrender” said Fenchurch.


The Chalón capital fell easy to Tsunami, the resistance and the militia. The rest of the planet was still largely in Joa control however resistance movements in other cities had over run the Joa guard. Tsunami destroyed some Joa bases in rural areas. Fenchurch however was in the Chalón colony hub, trying to organise a provisional government, so she could go off and liberate some other worlds.

“What’s wrong with a committee?” yelled Fenchurch, who was rubbing her head in dismay.

“Call to order!” shouted Kenji, this was the tip of the iceberg for Fenchurch who stormed out. Hire followed her, while people began arguing just to spite Kenji.

Fenchurch leant against a wall in sheer tiredness. “The people in the Compté system weren’t as bureaucratic as this”

“In fairness, you had the backing of the Jurai government and the people haven’t been oppressed by an occupied force”.

Fenchurch slumped down the wall onto the floor. Hire would have sat down next to her, but it would have been hard for him too get up.

“Sorry” said Hire, Fenchurch turned to face him.

“If I ever get back to Compté, I hope I never have to witness anything like this”.

Hire would have liked to say something comforting, but nothing like that came up, “why don’t you get some rest?”. Fenchurch then feel asleep.


“I say we make a run for the border now and leave Kenji” said Fenchurch to Tsunami and Hire.

“Soon as we do that” said Hire “a Joa fleet will just show up and invade the planet again”.

“Are you saying were stuck here until Jurai gets liberated?” said Fenchurch outraged at the idea.

“There must be something we can do?” asked Tsunami.

“Whose bright idea was this?” said Hire.

“I think it was mine” replied Tsunami.

“Well it was kenji’s stupid plan” said Fenchurch slamming down on the command chair.

“Which we all agreed to…”.

“only on condition…”

“can you stop arguing” said Hire

“Nooooo” shouted Fenchurch as Kenji walked in, she feel to floor in distress.

“Next one” said kenji rubbing his hands in glee.

“Next one, what do you mean ‘next one’?” said Fenchurch starring at him as he approached up the stairs.

“next world to liberate”

“Are you drunk on the 'special tea' again?”

“What do you mean?”

“You can’t be serious in leaving here?”

“There’s a Joa fleet in the adjacent system which is ready to pounce as soon as we leave” said Tsunami, popping up a star map which different colour blobs on it, as though they were significant.

“Well that and the place is in complete anarchy, it would have been better if we‘d never interfered” said Fenchurch.

“Don’t you know?”

“Obviously not”

“I’m in charge”

“Two questions, what? And why?”

“Well they would have voted for Tsunami, however you stormed out before they thought about asking you. So since I’m the only member of the crew…”

“Your not a member of my crew” Tsunami shouted.

Kenji just starred and continued “…who showed any interest in the politics of Chalón…”

“Rubbish” said Fenchurch, “it’s just that everyone else stormed out and you were the only one left in the room“.

“I used to get respect before I met you” said kenji loosely.

“I could say the same” said Fenchurch, even more loosier.

“Just remain in orbit” said kenji walking back down the stairs.

“Tsunami…” said Fenchurch

Kenji turned around to look at her.

“…leave orbit, please”

“anything to spite Kenji” said Tsunami

“you wouldn’t” said kenji bluffing.

Fenchurch just starred at him.

“What do you want High Admiral?”

“You know what I wanted but it’s too late now, now I want the truth”

“what truth?” asked Hire with an element of confusion.

“there is a hidden agenda here somewhere, there are too many problems that must fit together in some way”

Kenji just walked away with a smirk, waving his hand pointlessly.

“Do you know?” Fenchurch asked Tsunami

“How would I know, I don’t know what your talking about” replied Tsunami

“Do you want to continue this in private” asked Hire

Fenchurch looked at the gazing eyes of half the bridge crew since it was lunch time. Half of the gazing eyes wanted to stand up and say something however the optic nerve wouldn’t allow them.

“There’s no need to hide the truth” said Fenchurch, rather optimistically.

“Which is why you went ballistic during the war meeting on Orléa” said Hire as though he had all the pieces of Jigsaw all put together and ready to cut through wood.

“It’s only the one thing in this universe, I hate more than bureaucracy…"

“…and the Joa obviously” interrupted Tsunami

“obviously” Fenchurch continued “…is when people hide the truth, and that man is the truth-hider general”

“Should I get you a thesaurus for your birthday” said the tea lady/communications official who came up with the tea.

“That would be nice” said Tsunami jokily.

“There’s normally galactic day off for your birthday, Tsunami”

“For death and life, there’s a day off for strife” replied Tsunami

“I still don’t understand that?”

“Neither do I, I was on the Sake at the time”


“Yes, well I just wanted to get rid of the scribe, I just thought of something that rhymed and sounded good then I just wanted to kill Janine Butcher” she said crashing her fist into her other hand, hurting it in the process.

The tea lady/communications official just nodded at Tsunami, “well I suppose I’ll start monitoring communications again”. Fenchurch and Hire picked up cups of tea. She then went away.

“Well what should we do now” said Tsunami after an awkward silence.

“Well we can’t leave in case the Joa fleet attacks…” said Hire

“…and we can’t stay, the Juraian armada need us” said Tsunami

Fenchurch pondered this and sat down with a classic thinking posture.

The sounds of leaves can be heard rustling by the air conditioning system. Tsunami nodded as this was fairly normal for her operations.

“Is it me or is it cold in here” said Hire.

Tsunami looked at him shockingly with a minor sense of insult.

“I’m getting a headache, I don’t know what I’m doing” shouted Fenchurch, standing up whacking her hands against her head.

“No wonder your getting a headache” asked Tsunami.

Fenchurch give up at this point, “Tsunami, you decide, you’re the one who does the actual fighting, I’m going to bed”.

Tsunami look bewildered, she sat in the command chair taking the exact posture as Fenchurch did a moment before.

“Whatever I decide people die”

“Whatever you decide people live” said Hire optimistically.

The idea then hit Tsunami like a tonne of bricks, “We go to Earth?”

“Where, why?” asked Hire as he’d never heard of the world before.

“We need to tell Princess Ayeka what’s going on”

“What about the Joa?” he asked with concern.

“There is one thing I’ve realised over these past thousands of years, the Juraians can look after themselves for five minutes”.

The stars then streaked above there heads as Tsunami engaged her engines, on Chalón Kenji looked at the sky from his residential palace. The darkness was ironic as he watched in horror as the brightest star in the night disappear.

Chapter V: No need for Princess Ayeka

The night on Earth was similar to that on Chalón. Princess Ayeka looked at the sky through on the Veranda thinking of home. She had been on Earth excluding the whole Kagato fiasco for a year almost exactly. First she began wondering about Jurai about a month ago, soon she became depressed regretting leaving the home world to pursue her own happiness. She felt guilty, selfish and traitorous.

Ryoko on the other hand was getting happier by the minute, the fact she was drinking mouthfuls of Sake probably didn’t help much. She was becoming louder by the hour which is why Ayeka retreated outside. Tenchi was asleep, well trying to get some sleep, he placed two pillows over his head trying to dampen the noise of Ryoko. Ayeka went back inside as she was getting cold and tired.

“Ahh, if it isn’t princess scaredy” said Ryoko, completely losing balance in the progress. Ayeka walked through the living room without giving much attention to the drunken pirate on the floor.


In the morning, Ayeka quickly realised she was still alive, which was becoming rather a disappointment. She descended the stairs slightly disorientated. The stress was really affecting her health, not only was she becoming sleep deprived, sleeping only a few hours each night. She became shaky and edgy at any situation, someone just speaking to her often caused her to panic. She noticed Ryoko on the floor however she didn’t care, she sat on the sofa staring out the window towards the lake where Ryu-Oh was growing. The ship by now had completely repaired itself but remained parked in the lake. She thought about going to Jurai, just to meet her people, but the thought never took off.

“What would you like for breakfast” said Susami, wearing a cute chefs uniform which Mihoshi bought for her for Christmas. “What happened to Ryoko”

Ayeka forced to say something started by breathing quicker was saved by Tenchi who walked down the stairs rather distraught as well. “Well she sure got some sleep last night” he said.

Ayeka breathed a sigh of relief, she knew she had to do something about her situation. Tenchi and Susami began talking, Ayeka ignored the conversation, and was about to cry until Tenchi spoke to her “Are you alright miss Ayeka”

“Fine Lord Tenchi” replied Ayeka, she found it easy to hide her feelings in front of Tenchi easily. Well she had practice. She ascended the stairs.

“Are you still on for the celebration of light?” asked Tenchi before as she reached the top of the stairs.

Ayeka didn’t respond. At this point Ryoko teleported next to Tenchi, almost knocking into Susami, “Tenchi, we don’t need her, it could just be us two, wouldn’t that be romantic?” Ryoko said cringing Tenchi.

“get off me Ryoko” replied Tenchi trying to shoo her away.


“So have you ever met princess Ayeka” asked Tsunami to Fenchurch.

“Is this idea of yours sane?” asked a subordinate in the most respectful away possible. He then bowed to show respect. “there are two major battles going on and were not doing anything about them, the battles could be the turning point of the war, we could be liberating Jurai by the end of the month and kicking the Joa out of our space if we win either battle, but instead we’re heading for a no where planet to do what exactly?”

The crew on Tsunami were slightly concerned of her plans, they didn’t seem idiotic but pointless. They weren’t yet ready to mutiny however the tide was turning that way. If this was any other ship, they would have probably done so. Despite the fact most of the kingdom of Jurai supported High Admiral Fenchurch, the crew of Tsunami were still unswayed, the fact Fenchurch insulted most of them on the first day didn’t help. Tsunami never used to have a crew but when she joined the Jurai military to liberate her home world they gave her a crew, most of them were part of the entourage for the High Admiral and nothing to do with Tsunami’s operations. Thus they felt demoralised.

“Yes, she visited the Compté system a few years ago” replied Fenchurch

“Are you listening to me” said the subordinate.

“Listen” said Hire, who was sick of the subordinate, “it has nothing to do with you”

“Yes it has, I was born on Chalón, so I care what happens to it. I mean you three want your home worlds liberated…”

“Well yours is” interrupted Tsunami

“Well not for long” the subordinate shouted.

“Someone remove him from the bridge” ordered Hire

“Hang on a minute, let him speak, get the anger of you chest” said Fenchurch.

The pressure was on the subordinate now, he struggled to find what to say but completely forgotten. Fenchurch spoke after a few seconds of silence.

“We are going to Earth to get organised, I’ll feel somewhat better with princess Ayeka on the throne at the moment than that puppet.”

“Ohh, that’s where she went” said another subordinate. “People have been searching the cosmos for her”

“Well only a few people are supposed to know” replied Fenchurch.

There was sigh of relief on the crews faces as they relaxed. The subordinate smiled at the group and left for his console.


“That was delicious Susami” said Mihoshi at lunch.

Everyone else made a noise of agreement, except Ayeka who nodded and looked at a cup of cold tea.

“Are you girls staying for celebration of light?” asked Tenchi.

“We would love to…” said Kiyone before she was interrupted by Mihoshi

“yeah we would”

“…but unfortunately where being DPC checked and we should really be patrolling the outer solar system”

“Why not, why not” said Mihoshi in her child-like voice trying to get attention.

“Because we’ll get into trouble, and you wouldn’t want that”

Mihoshi began crying, so Kiyone gave up.

“May I be excused Lord Tenchi” said Ayeka abruptly, this even shocked her.

“Go right ahead miss Ayeka” replied Tenchi.

“Yeah get lost princess” shouted Ryoko, who didn’t seem to be getting much attention. Ayeka retreated up stairs without comment.


Susami decided to confront Ayeka about her problems, although she was probably to young to understand, she would still try. She searched the house for her but couldn’t find her. She then decided to ask Tenchi.

“Tenchi, have you seen my sister”

Tenchi lowered himself to Susami level, he wanted to sound understanding. “I don’t know what’s wrong with your sister, but I think we should find out”. Susami held Tenchi’s hand as they went outside. Ayeka stood at the edge of the lake staring towards Rhu-Oh. Tenchi and Susami walked up behind her, when he spoke it shocked Ayeka. Ryoko flew in a position above them, out of sight.

“Miss Ayeka, we are worried about you”

Ayeka just lowered her head, and starred at the lake bed visible at the lake shore.

“We know there’s something wrong, we would like to know what it is?”

Ayeka then shed a tear, and ran to the house. Susami wanted to run after to her, however Tenchi stopped and asked her to let it go, for now. When she reached the house, Ayeka slammed the Veranda door, Asaka and Kamidake were standing there, she quickly retreated up the stairs before they noticed her crying.

“What are we going to do?” asked Susami, trying not cry.

“I don’t know, but I promise to get the old Ayeka back”

“Really Tenchi” replied Susami.

“Of course” replied Tenchi, Susami ran with a smile as she knew every thing would be alright, Tenchi would solve everything, he always did. Tenchi on other hand had some doubts.

“Tenchi, my boy” said Noboyuki as he grabbed Tenchi by the back of the neck and gave him a shake. “Your not upsetting the girls again are you”.

“No dad” replied Tenchi, who seemed more concerned for Ayeka than greeting his father.

“Good good, then you won’t mind if I miss the celebration then”

“But you always watch the celebration”

“Well not this year” he said, turning his voice from a one of cheer, to a one of solemn. “The clients for the new hotel complex want me to stay over for one night, if I don’t I’m afraid they’ll ask someone else for the expansion work”. Tenchi wanted to interrupt him at this point however he continued, “they said I should build a house as though it was my own, and then I said I did, they thought it was a joke then I showed pictures and diagrams of our house…”

Ryoko teleported in seeing that Tenchi was getting quite bored, “well it looks like it’s just going to be me and you”.

Noboyuki then prodded him as sign of ‘go on my son’, “…and Ayeka and Susami” added Tenchi

“Well same thing” said Ryoko hugging him.

“Well I suppose I’ll get ready” said Noboyuki adding “Did you hear anything from your Grandpa in Tokyo?”

“Yes, he phoned earlier this afternoon”

“Good good, I’ll see you two love birds latter”.

Ryoko smiled at Tenchi, Tenchi just looked at her with wide eyes.


“I-spy with my little eye something beginning with ‘o’” said Fenchurch

“Oak” shouted a subordinate


After a moment silence Hire finally said “overawe”

“No… can you see an overawe?”

Hire shrugged.

The silence continued

“Osier” said Tsunami

Fenchurch didn’t reply and started looking at her nails, she took this as a sign she was wrong.

“Offal” said another subordinate.

“Can you see any Offal in here” replied Fenchurch.

“obi” shouted Tsunami and pointing at the tea lady standing next to the trolley.

“correct” said Fenchurch, “why are you wearing a Kimono anyway?”

“it comes with the job” she replied

“How long now Tsunami?” asked Fenchurch.

“Another 4,800 atus” replied Tsunami.

“It’s your go” said Fenchurch

“I-spy with my little eye, something beginning with ‘x’”.


Tenchi did a good job laying out the table outside on top of the big hill overlooking the celebrations in the valley below, they would be going down there latter when the place died down also there was better view of the firework display from the hill. Susami had made the food in preparation, so all they had to do was eat it.

Tenchi had planned to confront Ayeka during the meal however he didn’t want to ruin the celebration for Susami. As the sunset, the lights sprung down in the valley which lighted the entire sky. When Ayeka sat down on the mat and looked at the table with her monotonous glare, he had enough. He would do at the end of the meal, and that would be that. However Ryoko beat him too it.

“Listen, Princess if you don’t cheer up, we might have to get rid of you, your ruining the atmosphere, not only the love between me and Tenchi” said Ryoko, cuddling Tenchi. This cause Ayeka to flip, her eyes caught fire, she stood up with her head high.

“WILL YOU JUST SHUT YOUR FACE FOR FIVE MINUTES, YOU VAIN, PRETENTIOUS, SELF-OBSESSED, LYING WHAZZOCK” screamed Ayeka, this shocked Tenchi who never saw this in Ayeka before, sure she has gotten angry before, but never on this scale. Susami was scared and ran away crying. Tenchi ought to confront her right now.

“Pretentious, watashi” said Ryoko standing up to Ayeka. Tenchi was now afraid for Ryoko who was in Ayeka’s warpath.

Tenchi then knocked over Ryoko deliberately and stood where Ryoko was standing. He looked into her boiling red eyes and asked “What’s wrong Ayeka?”

“I’ll tell you what is wrong Lord Tenchi, is that…” she couldn’t end the sentence she fell onto the ground and began to cry. She covered her face to hide the tears and tried to continued “I’m…”

Ryoko interrupted rather rudely again “…a vain, self-obsessed liar”.

Tenchi then barked “Ryoko, please…”, as though he was politely trying to say shut up. “continue please Ayeka”

“Ryoko’s right” she said tightly grasping her hand, she was looking directly as the floor so Tenchi couldn’t see her face.

“See I’m right” said Ryoko, Tenchi would have loved to have slapped Ryoko, but now wasn’t the time.

“I am selfish, egoistic and narrow…”, at this point she broke into tears, Tenchi knelt down to her level.

He stroked the top of her head, Ryoko would have interfered however he was knelling on top of her, she decided to teleport above them.

“Your not, your one of the most considerate person I’ve ever met”.

Ayeka stood up sharply and turned away from Tenchi, “try telling that to the people I’ve left, after Kagato the people needed to be united, instead I left to follow my heart. I made no preparations, there could have been another coup, anything could have happened”.

Tenchi then decided that taking the direct approach was just going to toy with her emotions, he then decided to try an indirect approach “You know after the Kagato mission and I was all alone on Earth once again, I realised life was a carnival, like the one down there, a good time that you didn’t want to end, I thought the adventure was over”

Tenchi stood up to look at the carnival, he stood near Ayeka, but not close enough to intimidate her. “Then Ryoko returned, then soon afterward you all did, I soon realised that once it’ll ends, it’ll all come back”.

Ironically enough, the song ‘dimension of love’ was being played really loudly by the carnival speakers that it could be heard softly on the top of the hill.

“You should live your life as though it was the carnival, experience everything while you can before it leaves and if enjoy one bit better than another, do it again”. He turned to Ayeka “in the end it’s all up to you”.

Ayeka starred at Tenchi, she turned and ran to him, she cuddled him “thank you Lord Tenchi, your right, but I should visit my home world once and in awhile”. She then let go.

“Will you be alright”

“Yes, Lord Tenchi”

Two girls then appeared up the hill out of nowhere, Ryoko noticed this and teleported herself between Ayeka and Tenchi. As they came closer Ayeka recognised them, she looked shocked. Ryoko and Tenchi looked at them with little concern. They knelt in front of Ayeka.

“Princess Ayeka, I request a moment of your time” said Fenchurch.

Chapter 6: No need for a Siege

“I can’t take this” said Princess Ayeka after High Lady Admiral Fenchurch told her everything, from the fall of Jurai to liberation of Chalón. She said in a way to be historically accurate yet keep an equilibrium of good and bad news. Ayeka had told them to wait outside while she talked it over with the group. Fenchurch and Tsunami were treated as guests as Fenchurch decided the news she had to tell her was ‘the type of news that should be told after breakfast but before lunch’. Ayeka had told them not to say anything until her friends arrived, Fenchurch thought that it was a good idea.

Ryoko pat her on the back, “well it solves your problem doesn’t it”

“Ryoko” barked Tenchi

“If only I stayed” said Ayeka, she tilted her head so that it went on Kiyone’s shoulder. She didn’t mean to, she just wanted to comforted.

“Why didn’t Headquaters tell us?” asked Kiyone

“Don’t know, maybe there’s a cover up” said Ryoko, finally taking it seriously.

“Maybe someone doesn’t want you to know?” asked Washu rhetorically.

“Well who would do that?” asked Kiyone.

“I don’t know, but someone must have a selfish reason for doing it” replied Washu

“I’m scared” implied Mihoshi.

“Why don’t you and Susami try and ‘accommodate’ our guests” said Kiyone, trying to get rid of her.

“Okay” she said walking outside to the Veranda.

“What do you think we should do?” asked Tenchi


“What do you think we should do now?” asked Tsunami

“Well I think we should head for Orléa and see how the war is going” replied Fenchurch, “thank you Susami” as she gave her a cup of tea. Susami smiled in gratification.

“What about Kenji?” asked Tsunami jokingly.

“I think you know about my policy on Kenji” replied Fenchurch.

“No, but seriously, what about Chalón?”

“It’s Kenji’s fault if something bad happens” said Fenchurch trying to hide her guilt.

“How did you work that one out?”

“It was kenji’s idea to liberate it in the first place, and he made himself in charge, therefore it’s his problem”, Tsunami admired Fenchurch’s ability to hide guilt well.

“We sure having lovely weather” said Mihoshi who seemed to appear from out of no where behind them.

“Yes” said Fenchurch taking a sip of tea, “I must say I’ve never seen a sky as blue as this, and the clouds…there so…”, she searched the bottom of the tea cup for the next word “…rococo period”.

“They sure are!” said Mihoshi who didn’t have a clue what Fenchurch said, but agreed with her statement anyway.

“We’re ready to see you now” said Washu from behind Mihoshi.

They all went inside, Ayeka was at the head of the table with Tenchi and Ryoko standing behind her. Mihoshi and Washu stood by Fenchurch and Tsunami as though they were on trial, and now was the time for the verdict.

“Miss Fenchurch, miss Tsunami”

“Yes, ma lady” they replied, bowing as this said it.

“You will escort us to Orléa, where we’ll get rid of all this nonsense and win the war” said Ayeka with some conviction.

“Good” said Tsunami sarcastically, “more people on me, breathing all my air, sleeping on my beds, and eating all my plants”

“Shut up” shouted Fenchurch almost having a coronary.

“It was only a joke” replied Tsunami, Fenchurch tried to calm herself down a bit by breathing heavily.

“Not of all of us will becoming” said Kiyone

“Would you like to go outside for a moment, miss Fenchurch?” asked Tenchi

“No, I’ll be fine” replied Fenchurch still breathing heavily.


“I want to go” screamed Mihoshi

“We can’t go Mihoshi” replied Kiyone “we’re being checked”

“I want to go, I want to go” continued Mihoshi, Kiyone now choose to ignore her.

Tsunami and Rhu-Oh were both floating the sky above the lake in the same way bricks don’t. Ayeka, Tenchi, Ryoko and Washu were saying goodbye to the group, that weren’t going. Mihoshi and Kiyone were being checked by the Department for Police Corruption, so couldn’t skive off on a trip without being caught. Susami was still to young to be entering a war zone, so they agreed to keep her on Earth.

“I’ll miss you Tenchi, promise to come back” said Susami. Tenchi pattered her on the head in reply. Fenchurch looked at her watch indicating that they were in hurry here and to stop messing about.

A green aura emitted from Tsunami, that encompassed Fenchurch which then teleported onto her bridge. Rhu-Oh did the same but didn’t complain as much. The two ships left Earth’s atmosphere side-by-side.

On the bridge of Tsunami, a screen of the bridge of Rhu-Oh appeared, they can only presume the vice versa occurred.

“Where are we going?” asked Ryoko

“We are going to Orléa, the crown colony of Jurai, the first world outside our system that we colonised” replied Ayeka.

“I’m getting a signal from the Jurai armada” said Tsunami, the ears of both bridge crews listened with suspense to Tsunami. When she said nothing the tension increased.

“and…” asked everyone

“there asking where the universe have you been?” replied Tsunami

“ask them how the battle went” asked the tea lady.

“They won easily since we took out the dreadnoughts”, as Tsunami said this the bridge cheered. There was a lot of screaming and glee as Tsunami’s message echoed the ship. The really expensive mead was cracked open, and people cheered some more. “Will everybody shut up, something else is going on” shouted Tsunami after about minute of screaming.

“BE QUIET” yelled Tsunami

“Well…” said Fenchurch after a few seconds of silence.

“The armada is moving onto Jurai, High Admiral” replied Tsunami, “I understand Lord Funaho is leading the attack himself”

More cheering occurred, Tsunami gave up communicating at this point.

“Tsunami, set course for Jurai” said Fenchurch over the sound of the cheering.


“Take us to Jurai”


“Go to Jurai”

“It’s quiet moist, I know”

Fenchurch gave up at this point and Tsunami continued onto Orléa.


“I can hear again” said Fenchurch in the quiet war room on Orléa, rubbing her ears.

The war room was particularly empty since most people were apart of the armada en route to Jurai. Lord Funaho walked in much to everyone’s surprise. “Where’s Kenji?”

Fenchurch stood up in disgust, Princess Ayeka stood behind him with Tenchi and Ryoko at either side. He of course didn’t know they were there.

“What are you doing here, I thought you were leading the attack on Jurai” asked Fenchurch as soon as it became apparent he wasn’t going to add to his question.

“That’s what I want the people to think” replied Funaho in sly slow voice.

“Well you can think again” said Princess Ayeka, as soon as she said this, Prince Regent Lord Funaho flinched, he then turned around slowly. Fenchurch began to smirk as he turned. As soon as he saw her, he completely froze then fainted.

“Take me to Jurai miss Fenchurch” asked Ayeka after a few seconds of glee for Fenchurch.

“Yes ma lady”.


During the battle with the Joa fleet, the Jurai armada had been severely reduced. So much so that when they pushed onto Jurai the armada had to take an orbital position to destroy the surface projectors erected by the Joa occupiers. Such as distance meant the guns weren’t accurate enough to take out some guns, so they were making pot shots. The entire crew of both ships were dismayed when they watched on the screens of the shooting, Jurai ships attacking Jurai. No one would ever do such a thing unless ordered. Fenchurch demanded to speak to Fleet captain Niigata.


Fleet Captain had a scar running length of his face where a bit of roof had hit him during the armada battle. “We’re trying to destroy the Joa guns!”

“YEAH…” Fenchurch would have continued but the situation was causing immense stress. Ayeka continued for her.

“I insist you cease your bombardment immediately”

Fleet Captain Niigata was in shock as he heard Princess Ayeka’s voice across the airwaves. He then barked an order to his lieutenant to stop the assault. “I’m sorry my lady, I was ordered from the top to attack the projectors out of range, I did question my order, but no avail”.

“Come to Tsunami” said Ayeka, “we’ll discuss what to do”


Everyone who was important was on Tsunami and was sitting facing a tree around a round table, no body moved until Princess Ayeka walked in at which point everyone stood up and faced her. Tenchi, Ryoko, Washu, Fenchurch and Tsunami followed her.

“This is the plan…” said Washu, a map of the Jurai system appeared in which a asteroid was highlighted. The map zoomed in and the asteroid became magnified. “…inside this asteroid is a electromagnetic pulse bomb!”. A holographic image of the bomb appeared, it seemed to be the size of the asteroid.

“What’s that doing there” shouted Fleet captain Kamata, who looked like he had the roughest night in his life. “Has that been there all the time”, he then got all worked up. “Are you trying to say we had a decent weapon at our disposal all the time and no one thought about using it”

“To be fair, no one knew it was there” replied Fenchurch

“Why?” he asked

“Because I built it” replied Washu, “I hid it when I was being investigated for developing weaponry when I was the President of the Royal Science Academy”

“Then why didn’t you tell anyone about it when Jurai was being invaded”

“Because how was I supposed to know, I‘m not psychic”

“People please, calm down” said Ryoko out of the blue.

“So what does this bomb do exactly” asked Niigata.

“When activated it produces an electromagnetic pulse which can disable all power sources of a planet for a long period of time provided they don‘t use neutrally-charged based energy systems”

“It does what?” asked Tenchi

Washu remembered these people were frontline fighters and not graduates of fundamental physics. “Anything that requires power won’t work for few weeks”.

Fenchurch who did study fundamental physics on a particularly low gravity planet, “the Joa tend to hijack the power systems of the worlds they occupy, since Jurai uses a photonic based power system your bomb will work”.

Washu smiled “good”.

“…and how do we plant the bomb, or launch it” asked Tsunami.

“I’m glad you asked” said Washu, a fleet of ships will reverse the polarity of there engines and use the energy to produce a tachyon grid, we’ll then drag the asteroid at certain velocity towards Jurai and then release it, the inertia will then carry it to Jurai. The projectors will the blow up the bomb causing the pulse and if the miss, the impact with the ground will the cause the pulse”

“What?” asked everyone, Washu looked up as a sign of giving up.

“We catapult it!” said Fenchurch


When it first appeared on the screen of the Joa occupied radio radar station on Jurai, they thought ‘what was the point in that, they know we can destroy it’, so they did. They then regretted it. The entire planet was plunged into darkness as every power system on the planet switched off, even the back-up generators refused to switch themselves on. Fortunately for the Joa, a Burgen fleet nearby saw the whole thing happen, so decided to help there gracious allies with a plan in hand.

“High Admiral, there is Bergen fleet heading this way” said the sensor controller, almost simultaneously Tsunami said “The Admiral of the fleet wishes to speak to you”. A screen appeared showing the head of the red faced fish with the his tentacles in a star formation around his head.

“This is Admiral Plax of the Burgen fleet KL98, halt your attack on Jurai or we will open fire”

“Listen Narks, you never halted your attack on Compté when you lot took it”

“Give up Jurai, you’ve lost the war, give up now to end the bloodshed”

Fenchurch would have liked to have used extremely foul and bad language at this point but decided a simple “bring it on” would do the trick. The screen disappeared. “Tell Fleet Captain Niigata to take out the guns and began the ground liberation, I and Fleet Captain Kamata will attack the on coming Burgen fleet”. The two fleets then engaged in battle.

Chapter 7: No need for Jurai

Rather than go into a head on ‘meat grinder exchange of fire’ which is exactly what they wanted them to think, the Burgen fleet started flying around often committing Kamikaze into the Jurai fleet, mainly Tsunami rather insanely.

“Can’t you see what’s going on” shouted Hire over the sound of a falling tree.

“No, the narking firing extinguishers are being set off, there’s a mist of Carbate and I can’t see five metres in front of my face“ yelled Fenchurch.

“I know, I can see what’s going on” said Hire, “or rather I can’t”.

Fenchurch gave him a funny look, however he didn’t see it.

“I’m being boarded” said Tsunami rather calmly, “I’ve never be boarded before, how dare they!”

“Can’t you do something about it”

Light started to appear in the smoke, “well that was quick”

A foul smelling ‘worse-than-sulphur’ odour of a red fish with tentacles appeared in front of Fenchurch, she stood up, then drew and activated her light sword. Tsunami stepped back.

“Just because I can’t see purple doesn’t mean I can’t feel it’s heat” said the foul smelling fish, “bring it on” he said pointing his gun and firing at Fenchurch. The laser beam reflected of Fenchurch’s aura shield and grinned at him in reply. Screaming can be heard in the background of both dying Jurai and Burgen guards. Fenchurch charged at him.

Fenchurch swung her sword down at him, however he dodged it. He swung with back with one of this tentacles trying to trip her over, she jumped over the tentacle and hacked it off. He then head butted her which caused her to fly into the tree Tsunami. She quickly leapt up and began swinging the sword around her head in a menacing fashion. A tentacle then whipped towards her, she just managed to duck in time. She then attempted to swipe that tentacle but missed. By now the smoke was beginning to filter out and she could see her target more clearly. She managed to dodge more tentacles as she came closer to the creature, she then swiped off a good portion of it’s thigh which caused to fall over, as a last stroke in the heat of battle, Fenchurch plunged the light sword into it’s head.

She then noticed that the smoke had died down completely, she also noticed that they’ve lost.


“Well Fenchurch, you’ve defeated our best warrior” said Admiral Plax, who had huddled the bridge crew of Tsunami together in a group including Tsunami and Hire. They all had the menacing guns of Burgen soldiers pointing at them. “but you’ve still lost”

Fenchurch walked down the stairs tired from the battle, “if that was your best I can take you all on quite easily” she said in a rather ironic pessimistic tone.

“surrender yourself, and I’ll let your people go” he said.

Fenchurch looked around at the dead Jurai and Burgen guards, she then turned towards Plax when she was almost at the bottom of the stairs. “What makes me think you’ll honour your agreement”.

“Well you’ve got to trust the honour of Burgen”

“I can trust you about as a far as I can through you, bear in mind your twice the weight of me, so that ain‘t much”

Plax just laughed, “well you’ve got no choice in the matter”. Fenchurch then disappeared along with the Burgen guards, the only thing that was left on the floor was her light sword which deactivated itself.

“Where did they go?” said Hire

“Does it matter” said Tsunami, we must find her.

“With no crew” said a blood ridden tea lady, “we’ll have no chance”

“What do we do, or rather what do I do?” asked Tsunami to anyone in general.

“Just don’t panic!” replied Hire

“Panic, who said anything about panicking, this is complete hysteria” she yelled

“Calm down, let’s help in the liberation of Jurai then we’ll go after them with the entire Jurai armada”


“Where am I?” asked Fenchurch in a dark inconspicuous room, she could tell they went for the ‘cold and claustaphobic look’ when they designed the brig.

“The brig” said a drab Burgen voice which appeared to come above her.

“Well really” she said sarcastically, “here’s me thinking I was in the luxury cabin”.

“Then why did you ask?”

“In case I was somewhere with special historic significance, I know how all evil invading aliens like to brag”

“It’s a new ship”

Fenchurch continued with the banter in order to make as though she would be a good inmate for a prison and not a death wish, “well what bit’s I’ve seen of it, it looks quite nice”.

There was silence, her plan was falling apart.

“What will happen to me then?” she asked fearfully.

“Well you’ll be sold to the highest bidder”

“…as a slave”

“no, the highest bidder will have his/her choice, bear in mind most of the Burgen and Joa aristocracy want you dead, so your owners will probably execute you and pay the media of half the galaxy to watch it, so your quite an investment”

“Well that’s really cheered me up, I can sleep much better now”, just as said that a green/purple smoke emanated from the basalt floor and knocked her out.


The liberation of Jurai began well, then went bad, and now reached a stalemate. The royal grounds with tall trees and rolling hills became a muddy, flat battlefield in a matter of minutes. Some of the Joa guards used the Royal gazebo, the biggest garden accessory in the cosmos as cover-fire, so the Jurai artillery guns blew it up. Ayeka and Susami began to cry as there majestic tree house was being slowly blown up bit by bit, wing by wing as they watched it on the television, courtesy of Al-Jazerra. Ryoko smiled at the destruction.

Fleet Captain Hire’s armoured division made an appearance over the horizon, which was now flat as an omelette. The armour passed the craters in which some Jurai soldiers were using as cover fire, they cheered as they went passed. The Joa gunfire reflected off the armour as they got closer. The armour then fired shells in a parabola aiming for a Joa trench, they hit with splendid accuracy.

The remaining Joa guards then stepped out carrying white flags, the universal message of ‘we’re coming towards you with big guns’, the Jurai military then shot them all. When the big guns did arrive, the armoured division charged them across what used to be three hours ago, the royal bridleway but now was a muddy road. The armour drove across the terrain trying to take out guns but they were to far away. Hire’s personal tank got flipped onto it’s side by a blast, the tank chain still carried forward, getting a more accurate shot of the big guns.

One of the guns, saw the light of the star of Jurai reflect off one of Hire’s medals as he got out of his armour with his driver, the gunners realised he must be important so they targeted him and fired towards him.


“My lady are you sure you should be watching this?” said a Butler, finally glad he had someone proper to serve.

“You can’t hide the truth from me know more” said Ayeka turning her head after each blast from each Joa gun. A Joa missile then took out the camera which was hovering high above the battlefield”

“Okay, we’ve seemed to have lost the camera” said Natasha, the newsreader “We’ll see if we can get the picture back soon”. She turned to face a different camera in her comfy newsroom on a space station orbiting a lush blue green planet. “Elsewhere on Jurai…”, a newsflash came onto the screen with big letters in fifty different languages reading ‘LIBERATION OF JURAI’ which covered the head of the newsreader. She then moved her chair so you could see her head.

“…the battle for Konica continues” she continued “the battle is between the Konica militia and Fleet Captain Kamata’s howitzer division against the Joa imperial guard is being fought near the Grand Admiral’s mansion, the outcome of this battle will have massive morale implications on the rest of the planet, we have a reporter stationed near a major fishing port, Mari are you there?”

The camera then switched to a reporter standing in the harbour of the fishing port, in the background there were warehouses in which the citizens were hiding in. The sky was black, not because of the time of day, but because of dust. There was an aerial battle which could been in the background between Joa and Jurai aircraft.

“Yes, I am Natasha, but barely, there was heavy anti-aircraft fire when I approached the island, when I did land, some Jurai military then drove me to this village…” she then continued expressing what a bad day she was having, when Ayeka switched off the television.


The gunner thought, “maybe this time”, and realised he should have took up that ballistics module at University. Hire was carrying his driver across the wasteland to a soil stack which some injured Jurai were using as a cover. He darted around the stack, and lay the body down.

“Fleet Captain, are you alright” asked a concerned guard.

“Where’s all this modern technology when you need it” he asked hypothetically.

The concerned guard looked up, “I think it’s here, Hire”

Tsunami’s shadow darkened then as she hovered firing light hawk beams towards the enemy big guns. Massive explosions could been seen in the background as the guns blew up. She then teleported all of them onboard.


“You’ve been sold” said a voice which woke Fenchurch up.

“Have I really?” she said with a splitting headache, she attempted to get up but decided staying down was a better option. “How much for?”

“Half a yottafix”

“I don’t know how that is?” she said in a really sarcastic tone, she thought about the concept that whatever knocked her out was probably causing some mental and emotional problems, “what’s in worth in Jurai?, what can you else buy with it apart from sexy Jurai High Admirals, who are about three hundred and fiftieth in line to the throne?

“Err…let me check the exchange rates”, she then could hear typing on a calculator, she then heard paper ripping and footsteps. “A small exotic island or a large temperate one” he said eventually.

She then fell back to sleep.


“We should go and look for Fenchurch” said Hire lying down while Tsunami used some of her sap as disinfectant.

“In case you didn’t know, there’s a war on” she replied “and my crew have all been relocated into rifle and pike divisions, now hold still while I pour this onto your wound”

He screamed.

“I’m also quite proud of you, I’ve got to say, you lifted that man with only one arm”

“It was all adrenaline” said Hire “we’ve got to rescue Fenchurch, we need someone to organise the battles, it‘s like a…” He then fell asleep.

Tsunami walked past the empty consoles and fallen trees to the command chair, she looked towards the injured people, sitting or lying on the floor, and realised someone must do something. She then engaged her engines in pursuit of the Burgens after not much thought.


“…And we have some more breaking news from Jurai” said Natasha, this time she moved quickly out of the way of the newsflash. “Tsunami, the most powerful spaceship of all time has left the battle line in pursuit of a Burgen fleet, which earlier on today kidnapped the High Lady Admiral of the Jurai armada, the battleship is refusing to give reasons why she has left the liberation and is now unable to be contacted, we’ll tell you more when we have more information”. The television screen disappeared and the purple atmosphere of Jurai could be seen out the window.

Tenchi and Ryoko had switched the television back on while Ayeka was visiting the surface to support the troops, it was a particularly dangerous thing to do, but it needed to be done.

“Remember the last time we were here Ryoko?” asked Tenchi

“Yeah, all that fun along time ago” she replied solemnly.

“You never told me where you went after I killed Kagato”

“That’s because I don’t want you to know”

Tenchi decided to leave it at that, a screen then popped up showing the Director General of the Galaxy Police, “This is the Galaxy Police support fleet, we took our time but we’re finally here, you two seem familiar”.


And so Jurai was liberated, well after a week of ground and aerial fighting. There were countless millions of Jurai dead, but it was worth it to be free. There was big celebration on every single Jurai planet, even the ones still under Joa control, which was a great demoraliser for the Joa guard. There was still one problem, rescuing Fenchurch. Tsunami had tracked down the fleet orbiting a desert world and was almost in orbit when the planet began transmitting a signal on all frequencies, from low level radio waves to high level gamma rays and even on the tachyon frequencies. It was a broadcast recorded earlier that day, it was dubbed into Jurai, however it was a bad translation, it showed Fenchurch being dragged onto a wooden deck and then flung onto the floor. She had bruisers and scares across her face, and her was cut and messed to make her look like a prehistoric Jurai. She didn’t have enough energy to get up. A Joa man wearing a rather striking cape and solid platinum crown arrived carrying a laser gun. He said “this is our enemy” and then shot her in her left lung, with her last dying muscle contractions she made a ‘v’-sign towards the camera, and an inversed ‘v’-sign to the Joa aristocrat. Then died.

The last chapter: no need for a martyr

The celebrations turned into funerals for the heroine and the countless thousands of millions on Jurai, the funerals quickly lead to overwhelming anger and hatred. The rest of the Jurai colonies needed to liberated, and most of them did it for themselves. There was an armed uprising on every single Joa and Burgen planet under Jurai control. Compté was the first be liberated, Troy and Rhiems quickly followed suite. After a week of uprisings, there was only one planet left under Joa control. The first one to be lost in the war.

“Castile” said Tsunami, who looked as though she hadn’t had any decent sunlight for weeks.

“Castile” said Hire as though it was a new greeting. Hire had decided to grow his arm back after watching what happened to Fenchurch, he had lost all emotion, even anger required too much energy.

They were both on Tsunami sitting on the steps which lead to the command chair which Tsunami ripped out when she saw the execution. She then beamed up Fenchurch’s body, destroyed the colony, and raced back to Jurai. The funeral was today and no body felt up to it.

Ayeka walked in with Tenchi and Ryoko, they both stood up in her presence. “No, sit down”. They both did so without question. “I would like to thank you both personally for bringing her back”

Tsunami began to cry, so stormed out before she broke down in front the Princess. Hire replied “Thank you Princess” and walked out gracefully after Tsunami.

“Not only did she die, she was humiliated” said Tsunami trying to smash an automatic door, which was more difficult than she thought. She then gave up, slammed herself down and cried.

Hire sat down next to her, she then moved her head onto his shoulder. “She got the last laugh though” said Hire, when he thought about saying it, it sounded more comforting.

“I got the last laugh” she said angrily, standing up head butting and smashing the door in the process “when I destroyed the place, and I won’t rest until their entire species is wiped out“.

“then what?” he asked holding her still before she rammed her head into the door, “then what?” he shouted again.

“I don’t know” she said cuddling him, “I just want…”, she couldn’t finish the sentence. She moved a way slightly, to look at him directly, “I just want…” she tried again. They then kissed.


“Hello Princess” said Kenji walking onto the bridge arms wide open.

“Who the heck are you?” asked Ryoko

“I’m Kenji, former director of communications to Lord Funaho and governor of planet Chálon“.

Ayeka then walked up to him, looked at him, then slapped him really hard.

“Ayeka” shouted Tenchi in protest, since this was unbecoming of her.

“If I ever see you again” shouted Ayeka, pointing her finger at him, “you’ll be…you’ll be”, she couldn’t think of anything harsh to say, “you’ll be regretful if you ever did so”.

He then walked off rather sharply, “you go girl” commented Ryoko.

“What was all that about” said Hire walking in another door with Tsunami, holding hands.

“Hello, what’s going on here” said Ryoko in a French policemen’s voice admiring the handholding in a sarcastic sort of way.

“Who was that?” asked Tsunami

“That was Lord Kenji” replied Ayeka, almost spitting with anger.

Tsunami then bowed and ran down the corridor in order to have a fight with him shouting “come back you whazzock“ and then with a hint of a Scottish accent “I‘ll get you Kenji“, which they all thought it sounded quite bizarre. There was a moments silence after tsunami’s voice disappeared.

“Castile” said Hire inquisitively.

Ayeka instantly knew what he was talking about, although Tenchi and Ryoko were utterly in the dark.

“War room, in four thousand atus” she said, then she turned around and left. Tenchi and Ryoko starred at each other, asking each other ‘what was all that about?’ in a form of sign language involving shoulder movements.


The war room was filled with people, mainly reporters who thought this could be a moment of historical significance.

“Can we have some sort of order if that is at all possible” said a prompter, who at this point thought now would be a good time to release his autobiography. He then hit a made a loud sound with no apparent purpose. “This is the agenda for today’s meeting which will get started after the really important people have arrived, first the admiralty will be discussing the military operations for the invasion…”, he then quickly corrected himself, “…liberation of the mining world of Castile”. He then looked at the agenda which read ‘let the hacks ask some pointless and mediocre questions, then let Tsunami capture Castile, it’s only a little planet and not worth any man power”, he then looked at the signature, it was Kenji.

“Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen, please arise for their royal highnesses Princess Ayeka and Lord Tenchi“ said another Prompter, one’s whose life was in CV form and not a hefty word document. Tenchi, Ayeka and Ryoko walked in the room, the press seemed more interested in former space pirate Ryoko’s presence there than that of the royal family. The Press automatically began asking questions:

“Pirate Ryoko, what’s your position in all this?”

“Princess Ayeka, Galactic News, why is a member of the royal family lodging with a potentially dangerous criminal”

“Lord Tenchi, Philosophy today, do you believe in bigamy?”

Tenchi then coughed on his tea after hearing that question.

“Shut up, you hacks” said the Prompter.

There was silence.

He then heard in his ear peace “nice decorum, grab your coat when you leave and don’t forget to collect your P45 on the way out”. He then did and wrote the incident down in his autobiography, of which he released some what earlier than he thought.

Some Admirals and Fleet Captain’s walked in with varying types of secretaries and tea. They all gathered round in a semi-circular fashion around the central star map.

“This is the situation…” said the sensor controller, a former communications officer/tea lady. Tsunami and Hire then barged in somewhat late, they hid behind the press group to deter attention.

“…the surviving Joa task force is regrouping around Castile, it’s smaller than the Jurai armada, however there is the major problem that the Jurai armada no longer exists. All the ships are being scraped to pay for the damage occurred to Jurai during the war”

The admirals nodded to each other, in a sign of agreement.
“Hang on a minute” said Washu, who was also hiding among the press, “are you telling me Jurai is defenceless?”

The Prompter then looked at her like she was an idiot, “your forgetting about Tsunami” he said in a childish voice. “She could easily take on the fleet if they enter Jurai space”.

Hire then looked to his left, Tsunami was gone. No one seemed to notice, Hire then sneaked out of the war room although the guards at the door noticed, they just didn’t care.

“She’s probably hiding some giant super weapons somewhere, that could possibly help defend Jurai” said Fleet Captain Kamata, he said it sarcastically, but was in fact the truth.

“Hey, don’t talk to me like that, I had my own navy of super weapons before you were born” replied Washu to his comment, the reporters couldn’t help but write it down.


“Are you coming with me?” asked Tsunami to Hire, who knew he was falling her around her ship. “You don’t need to hide”

He then jumped out in front of her, it shocked her, she seen it coming but she wanted to be polite.

“Have you thought this through?” asked Hire.

“No, but it doesn’t require much thought, I’ll think about it on the way”.

Hire held her arms to show her to be serious, “Did you hear about the Jurai armada?”

“Yes” she continued Jappingly, “they won’t scrap the entire armada in one day, it won’t take long to liberate the planet, well not for me anyway”.

Hire thought about it, still holding Tsunami’s arms who just starred at him. “Fine, but as long as your quick about it, let’s go”

“I’m already going” said tsunami, smiling at him.

“When did we leave?” said Hire letting go.

“When you came onboard” she then turned and walked onto the bridge.


Tsunami smashed a light hawk blast straight through the Joa fleet before they saw her coming. The Fleet then broke up and attempted to flank Tsunami, she fired another blast towards the planet side fleet, most of the ships were destroyed, the rest decided to dissert. The moon side fleet then fired pot shots towards Tsunami, who dodged them all. She then zoomed up close to the fleet and annihilated the entire all the ships in one shot. She then went after the deserters which is when Hire tried to persuade her not to do so.

“Tsunami, leave them please, they’re disserting” shouted Hire.

“No, they need to pay, there entire species deserves to be wiped out for what they did to Jurai” angered Tsunami

Hire decided to strike a nerve “Fenchurch wouldn’t”.

A tear emerged from her eye, so he decided to continue. “She wouldn’t let a vendetta allow her to control her emotions”, he knew he was speaking rubbish but it was working, “she would do what is required of her then leave it”, he then walked up to her, looked into her eyes and said “…and so should you”. This was a fairly mediocre end to his speech but it worked.

She braked hard, causing Hire and half the forest to almost fall over, she however was unaffected. She ran to cuddle him and broke into tears on impact.


“What is Tsunami doing?” asked the new appointed High Lord Admiral Chelsea, who was having abad day.

“Not much” replied Fleet Captain Niigata, “according to this…” looking at the battle report “…Tsunami wiped out the Joa task force then went after the remnants”.


“Revenge” said Niigata solemnly, then added “how would I know?”

“Well we’ve still got a job to do, so as I we say on Provence ‘Rettsu goo‘!*


The funeral fire burnt as high as the colony itself, almost every citizen on Compté turned up to the green lagoon and watched in silence at the fire. Even Kenji turned up, although far in the distance away from the Jurai guard, a tear emerged from his eye then he thought ‘I wish I choose Brentford’.

In orbit of Orléa, Compté and Chalón, in her honour, the new defence platforms were arranged to spell Fenchurch in ten different languages. On Jurai, the new Royal mansion had a Fenchurch wing and statues of her were erected on every world. Ayeka, Tenchi and Ryoko went back to Earth changed people. Fleet Captain Hire, Niigata and Kamata were all promoted to admirals and given titles. Kenji decided to skip Jurai and tried find a meaningful existence to his life.


Outside the Shotengi on Jurai, the Prompter stood outside his stall and yelled “get your book, get your book, quite an offer, the autobiography of my life here all for 40 Jurai”.

“what is the content?” said a reviewer, briefing the back of the book.

“the history of my life in extreme detail” he replied.

“Was it a good life”

“No, I lost” said the Prompter.

Our excuses

The story itself has had three different writers. Fenella started the story hence the central character name and the general plot of the story, Mauritania who wrote most of the comedy moments (which I still haven’t found) and me, who did the odd bits and pieces. The story takes place about a year after Tenchi Universe, where Jurai is losing a conflict with the Joa, a warlike race. They have taken Jurai and are about to take Orléá. The story is based upon the great French heroine Joan of Arc and her battles against the British.

See Tenchi Muyo! for more Tenchi-related information!

Legal mumbo jumbo
Tsunami, Tenchi, Ayeka, Ryoko, Mihoshi, Kiyone, Susami and Kiyone are characters are property of Pioneer, so you can’t steal them unless they give them to you.

Kenji is a character based on Mr. Humphries from Yes, Minister

The names of the Fleet Captains are that of Japanese companies or great French generals.

The names of the admirals are London boroughs. Least that's my excuse

The prequels are available freely at http://members.lycos.co.uk/watashisan/

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