h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Tom Baker - The Life and Times Of - A35135822
Author: wonko_the_sane - U10845568

I hope this isn't too long or too boring or anything. I checked and there isn't another guide entry on tom baker the person so i wrote one.

anyway i hope it's alright.

I'm a little disappointed as this simply appears to be summary of Tom's autobiography.

He has done a lot more 'After the Doctor' than marrying Sue, and as you have quoted from the caption of Tom's photograph in his autobiography 'contemplating his gravestone'; these including sci-fi conventions, reading for bands (Mansun) and his work on Little Britain, to name a few.

SFX Magazine did a wonderful interview with him recent;y which may be worth tracking down, oh and no mention of his book 'The Boy Who Kicked Pigs'?

I'm also not sure on the content of this piece in regards to copyright law (swathes seem to be indirectly quoted from 'Who On Earth is Tom Baker'), so perhaps you should try to be a little more succint, or use your own words more.

Thanks for the comment. It's always good to know what you can do to improve you're entries. so thanks. I hope it has been updated to your liking.

A few things I've noticed are

headers appear to be subheaders.

There is no need for a header right at the beginning just launch into the entry by saying who he is.

Please make sure you adhere to the good advice Uncle Travelling Matt has given you.

"Tom Baker now spends some of his time mowing the grass in front of the local church and "contemplating his gravestone"

He hasn't lived in the Bell House house close to the local church in Boughton Malherbe near Lenham since 2002, when he sold the house to Vic Reeves (who doesn't live there any more either). Tom Baker now lives in France.

When he did live in Kent, Tom Baker was often seen in the Lenham pubs and annually switched on the village Christmas lights for 17 years.

thank you all, will change the things necessary!

I think this needs more about Tom's acting work: what about Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger? What about his appearance in Blackadder II? What about Monarch of the Glen?

You must mention Tom's voice. It's his most distinctive feature.

We also need less about his break-up with his first wife. We don't need a blow by blow account of that. In stories of marital breakdown there are two sides to every story and I think it is unfair to air such personal details here.

One small point: you don't need to give him his full name "Tom Baker" every time you talk about him. It's normal procedure to call him Baker after the first time, unless it is in a section about lots of different Bakers, in which case you can call him Tom.

Oh, it was the Golden Voyage of Sinbad, not the Eye of the Tiger.

okley dokey (how do you actually spell that?) will make those changes and add a new section in "notable works" perhaps?

There's some good work and potential here wonko, hope you come back to it soon

Although, to Scouts out there, it's been over a month since wonko has posted on site and this Entry could be a Flea Market gem. If it does go that way I know someone 'who' could do something with it

yeah sorry about that, i'm just a bit forgetful and all
when nothing happens for a while you lose heart a bit. anyway thanks for that nice comment.

and has it really been a month????
wow. (lotsa assignments and things: STRESSFUL)

Take your time mate, and if you need any help just let me know, I've some more time on my hand as of late, so I can help out a little if you like

why thank you, if i ever need help i'll ask. you obviously are a tom baker fan as well.

Hello have you updated the piece yet?

it actually has been updated several times since i first wrote it. i'm not sure what still needs updating, if there are any problems let me know.

There's lots of good stuff in this. I think it should be acceptable after a bit of tidying, although it is really up to a scout and the eds to decide. Let's tidy it and see what happens. I'm going to suggest a good few changes, but don't be discouraged. If you do all these, the Entry will look a lot better.

G

Content:

Can you tell us something about where the monastery of Ploermal is? I've never heard of the place. Is it in England?

on the Queen Mary -- you should say what the Queen Mary is/was, for those of us who don't know.

I think you should at least mention Baker's significant role in the blockbuster movie of the day, Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger. (if that was the name of it. Check on www.imdb.com). This was filmed before Doctor Who and came out just at the time when he first appeared on our screens as Doctor Who.

"He began seeing Sue Jerrard again" -- you haven't mentioned her before, so you shouldn't say "again" without some sort of an explanation.


This section needs to be tidied:

"List of plays/films/TV shows he's been in

For a list of all the plays, films, TV shows etc. Baker has been in see www.tombaker.tv "

I think it would look better if you got rid of the title and moved the information into the Further Reading section.

The Further Reading section should be a bullet list:


First item
Second item
Third item


GuideML:
Your GuideML needs tidying up. You're not supposed to use to move on to new lines, as it can cause peculiar effects in certain circumstances. You should use at the start of each paragraph and at the end of each paragraph. This applies even if the 'paragraph' is only one sentence, for example the first sentence.

You should do the link at the end like this:

Information on his stories as the Doctor is available on the BBC Doctor Who Website.

House Style:

You should use 'single quotes' rather than "double quotes", so for example "Potato" becomes 'Potato'.

2 boys -- spell out numbers up to ten: two boys. The same applies to 7 years, 2 weeks, 7 month stint and so on.

Nit-picking:
Catholic should have a capital C.

a Father from the church --> a priest

acted in a theatres --> acted in theatres

Here he acted with famous and respected actors -- it sounds bad to say "acted" and "actors" so close together, particularly when you used "acted" in the previous sentence as well. Try saying:

Here he worked with famous and respected actors

Maggie Smith and Anthony Hopkins and Laurence Olivier -- for a list, use commas, with "and" only between the last pair:

Maggie Smith, Anthony Hopkins and Laurence Olivier

although he was nominated for 2 Golden Globes was working on a building site -- this is clumsy. Try it as:
although nominated for 2 Golden Globes, he was working on a building site

Alfred Wheatcroft, Anna Wheatcroft's father -- you don't need to repeat the surname:
Alfred Wheatcroft, Anna's father

Baker looked after Alfred Wheatcroft for a year -- you told us his surname in the previous sentence so you don't need to repeat it:
Baker looked after Alfred for a year

as no other ale nurse -- while an 'ale nurse' is a concept , I think you meant male nurse.

After several years and an attempted suicide and an attempted (though not premeditated) murder -- there are two ands in this. Remove the first and put in a comma.

many many years -- I think it would be enough to say many years, but if you really want the repetition, there should be a comma after the first many.

became almost everyones "Doctor" -- I think you mean: became almost everyone's favourite Doctor.
(note the apostrophe)

it as one of the happiest --> it was one of the happiest

Try to avoid using the word "also" too often. For example, you say:

"He has also narrated Little Britain, linking the numerous sketches with what he hopes is funny narration, and going to numerous Sci-Fi Conventions. He also played Donald McDonald on Monarch Of The Glen "

That's "also" in two sentences in a row. Try and rephrase them so that you don't need to keep repeating "also".

"When Baker went to find the man thinking he was a fan the man told him that he was actually his son Piers. " -- this is clumsy. For a start, there should be commas to make it flow. Secondly, the repetition of "the man" is bad. You could try:

"When Baker went to find the man, thinking he was a fan, he discovered that he was actually his son Piers." Although that uses "he" a few times, I think it is clear what it means.

home phones in england --> home phones in England

however they replaced him -- don't use "however" like this. However is not used to join bits of sentences together. It is used with commas around it, as the second thing in a sentence. So it should read like this:

having the fourth most recognisable voice in england4. Later, however, they replaced him with a computer generated voice.

after The Queen --> After the Queen

Good Work!

thank you for nitpicking. i'm on holiday in brisbane right now and internet access is extremely expensive. i'll fix it up when i'm back home in a week.

and also... some of the things will be cleaned up when it's edited if it goes into the edited guide.

i think i've tied most of the grammatical &c. errors up. i'll do the guideML ones later.