Crime in Luton
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
If at any time, yourself or any persons travelling with you, are in any way arrested for a crime in Luton, Bedfordshire, England, you should do the following:
1) DON'T PANIC
2)Plead "Not Guilty" even if it completely obviouse that the sheep didn't in fact "back into your groin by its own accord".
3) Due to the fact that 90% of the population of Luton, are in fact criminals, 90% of your jury will be up to some form of criminal activity. As such they will let you walk.
You are then elegible for jury service. If this should happen you will be obliged to release the defendant for any crime he or she has commited.
Due to this unique situation if at any time you are "on the Run" do attempt to get to Luton, where you should hand yourself in for questioning.
Also note that the Police have realised this and only attempt to arrest speeding motorists. (I'm actually telling the truth here now, some guys shop was robbed at gunpoint, the woman behind the counter called the shop owner, and the shop owner was done for speeding to his shop. The Police being 500 yards away!)
1) DON'T PANIC
2)Plead "Not Guilty" even if it completely obviouse that the sheep didn't in fact "back into your groin by its own accord".
3) Due to the fact that 90% of the population of Luton, are in fact criminals, 90% of your jury will be up to some form of criminal activity. As such they will let you walk.
You are then elegible for jury service. If this should happen you will be obliged to release the defendant for any crime he or she has commited.
Due to this unique situation if at any time you are "on the Run" do attempt to get to Luton, where you should hand yourself in for questioning.
Also note that the Police have realised this and only attempt to arrest speeding motorists. (I'm actually telling the truth here now, some guys shop was robbed at gunpoint, the woman behind the counter called the shop owner, and the shop owner was done for speeding to his shop. The Police being 500 yards away!)
