Wuppertal, Germany (The "u" being pronounced as "oo")

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Although Wuppertal is often called the capital of the "Bergische Land"
(mountainous territory), it is an utterly provincial town. The city is home
of almost 400.000 people, but that does obviously not save it from being
extraordinarily boring for pretty much of the time. Nevertheless Wuppertal is
worth a visit, especially if you do not want to enjoy the sun, for he does not
shine in Wuppertal. Instead there is plenty of rain, enough for millions of
potential visitors. Therefore there are two things you need to have, when
staying in Wuppertal for some time. The first one is a towel and the second one
is an umbrella. The latter you do not have to bring yourself, because you will
be able to purchase it in practically any store you walk into.

The first thing you should do after ariving in Wuppertal is to go and have a
look at the "Schwebebahn". This is a kind of tram hanging down from rails which
are mounted about ten meters above Wuppertal's big river, called "Wupper"
(Thus the name "Wuppertal", Valley of the Wupper, because large parts of
Wuppertal are built on the not exactly slight risings at both sides of the
river). If you translate the name "Schwebebahn" into English you end up with
something like "Floating Railway" which is exactly the last thing the
Schwebebahn actually does. Instead it is a rattering monstrosity that carries
some 50.000 people per day from point A being somewhere in Wuppertal to point B
being somewhere else within that town making as much noise as possible.

If running into trees is your way of having fun, then Wuppertal is the right
town for you to go to. In 1929 more than 10 small cities have been joined
together to build a big town which was then supposed to be called Wuppertal,
being the only name everyone could cope with. Between all these urban
settlements there have always been (and still are) woods dividing one small
center from the other. Thus it is easy to understand why there is no point in
Wuppertal from which you have to walk more than ten minutes to reach a major
assembly of trees.

As for the people living in Wuppertal: they are crazy for staircases. For every
inhabitant of that town there are at least four or five of them, leading
everywhere you just do not want to get. In the old days, when there were no
cars, using the stairs was of course the shortest and easiest way to visit your
neighbours, but meanwhile people use the car even to get the roles for
breakfast. No-one there uses a bike, because bicycling in Wuppertal is almost as
impossible as swimming in the Wupper.

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