The Scene: A small village in western Germany. The time: around 3am in the 1800s.

A man is awoken by a horrific banging on his front door.

Fred: Christ Karl...if that's you again I'll...I'll...

Karl: [slurred, shaking and starting to see pink elephants] Whatsh all thish about Chrisht? Don't forget we're dialectical materialishts! Here lend me a bit of money. The price of a pint is lethal here!

Fred: That's it. I've had enough. [Grabs Karl by the wig, kicks his shins and ties him to a tree]

A day passes.

Karl: Hey Fred, I owe you one. You did me a favour, even if I didn't realise it at the time. My head was splitting and I was hallucinating - I even started to see a railway line in the sky! And don't get me started on the headache. It got so bad I bit my fingernails, and then I chewed all the bark off your tree. It started to pass then. Phew!

Fred: Railways in the sky? Tree bark easing headaches? You are a bloody nutter, Karl. It would never work!