How I am going to rule the universe with toothpaste.
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
First of all, I am going to put special faucets on every home in the universe.
Yes, special faucets. Let me explain. These special faucets will have three turn ons (the things that you turn when you want water). When you turn the first, there will be hot water, when you turn the second, there will be cold water, when you turn the third, there will be toothpaste. And if you turn them all on you'll get mint-flavoured mouthwash.
I will have the privilege on this invention so I will get all the profits.
When every home in the universe will have this special faucet it is time to take over. All this will be controlled from Iceland (for more information; http://www.h2g2.com/A319772 ), a small island that is located just south of the Arctic Circle. I will live in a large skyscraper made out of glass. Inside will be a large operator control panel, and from there I can control who gets toothpaste and who doesn't.
Because of this, I will have powers, political powers, and I will be able of having great influence on whatever I want to have influence on, where ever I want to have them.
If some nations are bad or don't do as I say, they won't get toothpaste. If they won't get toothpaste they won't be able of brushing their teeth. If they can't brush their teeth they'll have to see dentists. If they go to dentists, the dentists will do everything they can do for them, even if it's not necessary, because everybody else have toothpaste and brush their teeth regularly and don't have to see dentists at all. To sum things up, if an individual or a whole nation does (or doesn't) what I like they won't get toothpaste. Then they'll be robed (not only robed, you'll be bankrupt, and legally too) by evil dentists who need money to live.
These are my evil plans, and don't try to stop me, because if you do, you'll only make me angry! You don't want me angry, do you?
*evilgrin*
Yes, special faucets. Let me explain. These special faucets will have three turn ons (the things that you turn when you want water). When you turn the first, there will be hot water, when you turn the second, there will be cold water, when you turn the third, there will be toothpaste. And if you turn them all on you'll get mint-flavoured mouthwash.
I will have the privilege on this invention so I will get all the profits.
When every home in the universe will have this special faucet it is time to take over. All this will be controlled from Iceland (for more information; http://www.h2g2.com/A319772 ), a small island that is located just south of the Arctic Circle. I will live in a large skyscraper made out of glass. Inside will be a large operator control panel, and from there I can control who gets toothpaste and who doesn't.
Because of this, I will have powers, political powers, and I will be able of having great influence on whatever I want to have influence on, where ever I want to have them.
If some nations are bad or don't do as I say, they won't get toothpaste. If they won't get toothpaste they won't be able of brushing their teeth. If they can't brush their teeth they'll have to see dentists. If they go to dentists, the dentists will do everything they can do for them, even if it's not necessary, because everybody else have toothpaste and brush their teeth regularly and don't have to see dentists at all. To sum things up, if an individual or a whole nation does (or doesn't) what I like they won't get toothpaste. Then they'll be robed (not only robed, you'll be bankrupt, and legally too) by evil dentists who need money to live.
These are my evil plans, and don't try to stop me, because if you do, you'll only make me angry! You don't want me angry, do you?
*evilgrin*
