Time and how to live in it.
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
BACKGROUND
Time as we all know is somewhat essential to life as if it weren't there neither would we, or then again perhaps we would but then we wouldn't move/think/exist. Time is you see, quite complicated to those who only have basic experience of it i.e. moving forwards in a linear fashion then it really seems quite simple. The real problem arises when you think about going backwards or forwards jumping about like a five year old on his seventh can of super caffinated cola. This naturally can't happen... yet, though to theorise once more, if time travel exists then it has to by default exist today because if any persons from the future come back then time travle automatically exists in this time period. To prevent confusion when reading through this or any other article relating to time paradoxes, clauses etc here is a handy little mantra that makes everything okay againg.
The future doesn't exist because it quite naturally hasn't happened yet.
Likewise the past doesn't exist because it has already happened and cannot be revisited (without the use os some interesting drink/mental state combinations).
And the present cannot possibly exist because the moment you consider the present it automatically becomes the past and cannot exist.
To summarise then time doesnt exist.
Getting back to the point in hand, if such a thing is possible time travel would not be discovered in the future provided there is no way to isolate oneself from the time stream, the logic is very simple whilst simultaneously being extremely hard. At times like this it is wothwhile to think of time-flow as an erection the more you think about it the harder it gets. So provided someone has come back from the future and has changed the past no one in the future would know about it because it would seem that it had always been this way. Thus allowing the person travelling in time to get away with it scot free, of course if there are several people travelling at the same time with different objectives in mind then thinngs could get complex as being in the past their past(from the future) would not have changed because they were not in the future when this change in the past happened thus negting the change. (Take a breath here)
Unfortunately this then paves the way for the scourge of the sane man the time paradox. Put simply a paradox is an event that in happening can change itself to the point of where it never happened at all. Here is a favourite example of one.
A man goes back in time to shoot his father who he blames for everything. this happens before his father conceives him and as a result the man is never born. Now can the man come back in time to shoot his father? Arguments based on this simple premise can lest for a very long time perhaps even needing their own time machine.
So then a paradox can represent all those things which would normally be mutually exclusive all at once or not at all, there is now way to determine how a paradox would be resolved without conducting one, but I dont think youll find many people who want to take part in any experiment. Additionally this can be the cause of yet another problem if the trial was sucessful and the man remains alive after shooting his father, who is going to know, as sonn as he tries to tell the authorities what he has done he would be taken away to the nearest nuthouse to everyones relief, especially the man that realises that he has no father or indeed ever had one!
Naturally all this talk of time is moot as we cannot travel about in it although do you know that for certain, I for one am not advocating that we adopt the paranoid delusions of our American cousins who beleive that their government has UFO's. The american military cannot have UFO's for a simple purpose, they would never be able to keep the secret, as soon as they had it they would be proud to announce their latest breakthrough in technology, a flying silver disk. If they could keep a secret then yes but there would be no point in this as they could conceivably have stuck it in a bunker somewhere. However if we assume that any alien race has superior technology then the Americans could not have defeated them as they have a small trouble in attacking people harder than them, not that you would know it after all they did win the second world war for us, well made free with the women while our boys were dyin'. I am not saying that all americans are bad or stupid, there are good americans, just as there are good bacteria, as a rule though you don't want to spend a lot of time around them.
TRAVELLING IN TIME
The most difficult part of time travel is the travel part assuming your mnind can handle the problem of existing when you arew not supposed to then you just have to worry about how to get there. One possible way to attain this is to pass close to the speed of light, this method known as the theory of relativity is theoretically possible the only problem being that it only works one way i.e. forwards. Now any Joe Bloggs can travel forwards in time you are doing it right now it the backwards direction that gets a bit tricky, luckily space is here to help us out. It is possible, repeat POSSIBLE to travel back in time if the circumstances are right, such a method would probably involve tachyons and wormholes but dont ask me the specifics as I dont know them yet, nor I suspect do a great many people.
Well there you have it a brief history of time and how annoying it can be. If you think that this article is disjointed then you may probably be correct after all it is about time travel.
GUTLESS COP OUT
Throughout this article references have been made to a man who travels about in time, it could only be a man as a man when drunk thinks he can walk up walls or be attractive to women despite having a kebab attached to the side of his face and a map of africa on his trousers. A woman on the other hand is far too sensible to start dicking about with time, though I may be wrong, judge for yourselves.
Time as we all know is somewhat essential to life as if it weren't there neither would we, or then again perhaps we would but then we wouldn't move/think/exist. Time is you see, quite complicated to those who only have basic experience of it i.e. moving forwards in a linear fashion then it really seems quite simple. The real problem arises when you think about going backwards or forwards jumping about like a five year old on his seventh can of super caffinated cola. This naturally can't happen... yet, though to theorise once more, if time travel exists then it has to by default exist today because if any persons from the future come back then time travle automatically exists in this time period. To prevent confusion when reading through this or any other article relating to time paradoxes, clauses etc here is a handy little mantra that makes everything okay againg.
The future doesn't exist because it quite naturally hasn't happened yet.
Likewise the past doesn't exist because it has already happened and cannot be revisited (without the use os some interesting drink/mental state combinations).
And the present cannot possibly exist because the moment you consider the present it automatically becomes the past and cannot exist.
To summarise then time doesnt exist.
Getting back to the point in hand, if such a thing is possible time travel would not be discovered in the future provided there is no way to isolate oneself from the time stream, the logic is very simple whilst simultaneously being extremely hard. At times like this it is wothwhile to think of time-flow as an erection the more you think about it the harder it gets. So provided someone has come back from the future and has changed the past no one in the future would know about it because it would seem that it had always been this way. Thus allowing the person travelling in time to get away with it scot free, of course if there are several people travelling at the same time with different objectives in mind then thinngs could get complex as being in the past their past(from the future) would not have changed because they were not in the future when this change in the past happened thus negting the change. (Take a breath here)
Unfortunately this then paves the way for the scourge of the sane man the time paradox. Put simply a paradox is an event that in happening can change itself to the point of where it never happened at all. Here is a favourite example of one.
A man goes back in time to shoot his father who he blames for everything. this happens before his father conceives him and as a result the man is never born. Now can the man come back in time to shoot his father? Arguments based on this simple premise can lest for a very long time perhaps even needing their own time machine.
So then a paradox can represent all those things which would normally be mutually exclusive all at once or not at all, there is now way to determine how a paradox would be resolved without conducting one, but I dont think youll find many people who want to take part in any experiment. Additionally this can be the cause of yet another problem if the trial was sucessful and the man remains alive after shooting his father, who is going to know, as sonn as he tries to tell the authorities what he has done he would be taken away to the nearest nuthouse to everyones relief, especially the man that realises that he has no father or indeed ever had one!
Naturally all this talk of time is moot as we cannot travel about in it although do you know that for certain, I for one am not advocating that we adopt the paranoid delusions of our American cousins who beleive that their government has UFO's. The american military cannot have UFO's for a simple purpose, they would never be able to keep the secret, as soon as they had it they would be proud to announce their latest breakthrough in technology, a flying silver disk. If they could keep a secret then yes but there would be no point in this as they could conceivably have stuck it in a bunker somewhere. However if we assume that any alien race has superior technology then the Americans could not have defeated them as they have a small trouble in attacking people harder than them, not that you would know it after all they did win the second world war for us, well made free with the women while our boys were dyin'. I am not saying that all americans are bad or stupid, there are good americans, just as there are good bacteria, as a rule though you don't want to spend a lot of time around them.
TRAVELLING IN TIME
The most difficult part of time travel is the travel part assuming your mnind can handle the problem of existing when you arew not supposed to then you just have to worry about how to get there. One possible way to attain this is to pass close to the speed of light, this method known as the theory of relativity is theoretically possible the only problem being that it only works one way i.e. forwards. Now any Joe Bloggs can travel forwards in time you are doing it right now it the backwards direction that gets a bit tricky, luckily space is here to help us out. It is possible, repeat POSSIBLE to travel back in time if the circumstances are right, such a method would probably involve tachyons and wormholes but dont ask me the specifics as I dont know them yet, nor I suspect do a great many people.
Well there you have it a brief history of time and how annoying it can be. If you think that this article is disjointed then you may probably be correct after all it is about time travel.
GUTLESS COP OUT
Throughout this article references have been made to a man who travels about in time, it could only be a man as a man when drunk thinks he can walk up walls or be attractive to women despite having a kebab attached to the side of his face and a map of africa on his trousers. A woman on the other hand is far too sensible to start dicking about with time, though I may be wrong, judge for yourselves.
