Exams are a unique form of torture which is forced upon children by their parents, and then upon young adults by their socio-economic environment.

The structure of this inhumane treatment is slow moving, and lasts far longer than necessary. There are 3 distinct stages:

1. LEARNING - This is the easiest section, and usually succeeds in deceiving the victim that they are enjoying and actually want to partake in the ritual. Information is passed from ex-victims, onto younger individuals. One theory states that this is one way for the older victims to escape their fate - if they can pass on all of their knowledge then they may leave their hellish existence.

2. REVISION - This is the worst and longest part of the experience. The victims (or "students" as they are now termed) are made to retreat into isolation and commit everything they have learnt (see 1.)to memory. Social contact with others is reduced, and life seems worse than ever. If a student can survive this, then they can survive almost anything (excepting a nuclear detonation in their vicinity). Mood swings, and irritability become more pronounced, with patience at an all time low. This is thought to be connected with the over filling of the brain with fomulae and facts. To accomadate this extra information, manners and personality control is temporarily lost.

3. EXAMINATION - This exquisite pain culminates in just a few hours of agony. The student is imprisoned in a room with other young specimens, and a single overseer. Armed only with a pen (and possibly a calculator) the victim has to try and get all the information which they have crammed into their head during the previous stage (see 2.), onto paper. What this achieves is uncertain - one possibility is the slow construction of a secret library of all the knowledge being taught to the students, the exam papers being filed and buried in gigantic undeground bunkers.

A sub-stage of this final part is the results day. Here the students get assigned letters, which then determine whether they can progress onto further exams, or leave the ongoing process at that point. Either this torture is reserved for sadists, or the students have been brain-washed - because they all seem happiest if they carry on to harder and more gruelling exams.

N.B.- An interesting feature of exams is the relativistic effect of time. Stage 1 seems to last for the majority of the time, and this is true if observed independently aswell. However, although stage 2 lasts for approximately the same length of time absolutely, there are interesting effects on the student's perception of it's length. At the start of stage 2 it appears to be the longest stage, but as the student progresses through the stage the perceived time shortens at a greater rate than that observed independently. At the not un-rare moments of panic, the time left in this stage can even seem negative. Stage 3, which lasts just a few hours, varies in perceived length depending on how the student coped with stage 2.If revision has been done poorly it seems to the longest of all 3 stages. Inside the locked room the second-hand on the clock has been measured moving at 1/5 the speed of an equivalent clock placed outside. However, if revision has been done well and the student wants to write all he knows on the paper, the time runs out before he has a chance.

Summary of Exams - a strange phenomenon, avoid at all costs.