Norway
Created | Updated Oct 20, 2010
<p><b>Nature</b><BR/>Norway is a land best known for its fjords and the rocks that rise angrily out of them (which Norwegians would call mountains, but maybe they wouldn't if they for instance went to the Himalayas or Switzerland. Which they won't since they don't like to move around to much in places which aren't home). These fjords are pretty nice, but different laws of nature ensures that the areas they lay in are mostly troubbled by loads of rain and German tourists. The German tourists, off course, come to Norway because a whole lot of Dutch and Belgians found it nice and untouched some years ago. As with most other nice and untouched places the Germans decided to make it a million dollar tourist industry. Which is fine by the Norwegians, and not that fine by the Norwegian fjords.<BR/>
Other than the fjords and small mountains, Norway is also a country for forrests. Vast areas are clad in conifer, and is therefor extremelly popular around Christmas. This does not go down as a good idea by many of the rich guys who owns all these threes, so Norway mostly imports their christmas-threes from Denmark.<BR/>
In these woods and forrests there are a few animals living, among them a few wolves, and most of the year farmers, and sheeps, quarrel with animal right groups, and wolves, about whom should be alowed to kill, eat and, occationally, wear, the others. Most of the time the wolves are entitled to eat a few sheep (and give some time, sais the farmers, an occational farmer), the sheep get to clothe and feed the humans, the farmers shoot and wear the wolf and the enviromentalists asks for permission to shoot farmers while they eat the grass with the sheep.<BR/>It's all very nice, and they all probably need eachother in order to appear in the media from time to time.<BR/>
In addition to trees, mountains, german tourists and fjords, Norway also has a great deal of water surrounding it. This means that Norwegians spend a great deal of time harvesting most the stuff that the ocean provides, fish, clams and whales, where the first is a million dollar industry, the second is a internationally popular delicasy and the latter is an industry of extreme controversy. As in the case with the wolves, the whaling creates a situation where a few people spend a lot of time arguing about the issue, giving eachother enough credibility to keep it up. It is, however, a fact, that the number of whales killed every year is not even close to make an industry, but it is neither enough to disturb the numbers of whales.
<BR/><BR/>
Norway is a country of some diversity, you have the water and the mountainlike rocks, the sheepwearing and wolfkilling rurals and the grasseating and wolfloving urbans, and you have extreme weather and temperature-changes. In May this year for instance, one city (Tromso) had two metres of snow while the temperature was 25 celsius in another (Oslo). In a few months time, however, Tromso will have sun for 24 hours a day, while the people in Oslo will be complaining about how this summer was even worse they had the year before. So with all the snow in the North, the rain in the West, the shorttime memory in the South and all the guys hunting wolves in the East, the inhabitans pretends that they are all one, big happy family, with the same values and virtues (which happens to be a great deal better than they have in the rest of the world). Which brings us to:</p><BR/><p><b>The Inhabitans</b><BR/>
The people in Norway are suspiscious to almost everything not Norwegian. With centuries of Danish rule, decades of Swedish rule and a few years under the German boot, this is not difficult to understand. In the world today it would probably just be the Brits, the Spanish, the Germans and the Russians that doesn't feel this way. <BR/>
So the Norwegians have been weary about joining anything which isn't just Norway, or equaly independant and solitary. Or just totally dominated by Norwegians. For instance do they mostly compete in sporting events which includes some kinds of skies attached to the feet, most international politics reported is where the name 'Oslo', the words 'Norwegian diplomats' or 'earlier occupied by Norwegian vikings' are included, and for them the European Song Contest does actually mean something. (As in Sweden and Ireland)<BR/>On the other hand Norwegians are sceptical to immigrants, although a great deal shop for wives in Thailand or Russia, they only speak other languages if they know them better than the average European and Norwegian cooking is still about potatoes, carrots and small cakes made from fish that noone seems to enjoy before they have kids and tell them how healthy and tastefull they really are once you get to know them.<BR/>
Furthermore, Norwegians have a Royal family that never seems to f**k up at all, and thus stands small chances of getting beheaded or hunted around the countryside with dogs and men on horses. However they don't seem to do much other than sail and watch men jump with skies attached to their feet anyway.<BR/>
Up North, where the snow is and the sun never shows at winter because it overstayed its welcome in summer, Norway have a bunch of Natives. They are mainly looking out for their hurds of raindeer, and occationally competing with lassos and raindeers for the National press to see, while they sing songs that presumably is about the 'good, old days' when they were competing with lassos and raindeers, while singing songs about the 'even better, and still a bit older days'. Only the last years people have started to accept their rights of having an own tradition, their own language and certain areas where they can keep their deers. This might, or might not, be because everyone were to busy feeling sorry for the Indians, the Aborigines and every other Natives in the world to notice that they had some of their own.<BR/>
Norwegians go on holiday to Denmark, to get drunk cheap, to the Greek Islands, to get drunk cheap, and recently, to Eastern Asia, to get drunk cheap and a tan while their at it. They doesn't like travel to much though, and a great deal take pride in never having been on a plane yet. Then again, a whole lot of pilots hope they never have to land in Norway because there is often a whole lot of snow and ice on the runway, and the people there doesn't enjoing travel that much anyway.</p><BR/>There really is a great deal more to tell about Norway, but that is often better told by Norwegians who are drunk for instance in Denmark, on Rhodes or on a beach that used to be deserted but which are now totally crowded, somewhere in Thailand or Malaysia.
Other than the fjords and small mountains, Norway is also a country for forrests. Vast areas are clad in conifer, and is therefor extremelly popular around Christmas. This does not go down as a good idea by many of the rich guys who owns all these threes, so Norway mostly imports their christmas-threes from Denmark.<BR/>
In these woods and forrests there are a few animals living, among them a few wolves, and most of the year farmers, and sheeps, quarrel with animal right groups, and wolves, about whom should be alowed to kill, eat and, occationally, wear, the others. Most of the time the wolves are entitled to eat a few sheep (and give some time, sais the farmers, an occational farmer), the sheep get to clothe and feed the humans, the farmers shoot and wear the wolf and the enviromentalists asks for permission to shoot farmers while they eat the grass with the sheep.<BR/>It's all very nice, and they all probably need eachother in order to appear in the media from time to time.<BR/>
In addition to trees, mountains, german tourists and fjords, Norway also has a great deal of water surrounding it. This means that Norwegians spend a great deal of time harvesting most the stuff that the ocean provides, fish, clams and whales, where the first is a million dollar industry, the second is a internationally popular delicasy and the latter is an industry of extreme controversy. As in the case with the wolves, the whaling creates a situation where a few people spend a lot of time arguing about the issue, giving eachother enough credibility to keep it up. It is, however, a fact, that the number of whales killed every year is not even close to make an industry, but it is neither enough to disturb the numbers of whales.
<BR/><BR/>
Norway is a country of some diversity, you have the water and the mountainlike rocks, the sheepwearing and wolfkilling rurals and the grasseating and wolfloving urbans, and you have extreme weather and temperature-changes. In May this year for instance, one city (Tromso) had two metres of snow while the temperature was 25 celsius in another (Oslo). In a few months time, however, Tromso will have sun for 24 hours a day, while the people in Oslo will be complaining about how this summer was even worse they had the year before. So with all the snow in the North, the rain in the West, the shorttime memory in the South and all the guys hunting wolves in the East, the inhabitans pretends that they are all one, big happy family, with the same values and virtues (which happens to be a great deal better than they have in the rest of the world). Which brings us to:</p><BR/><p><b>The Inhabitans</b><BR/>
The people in Norway are suspiscious to almost everything not Norwegian. With centuries of Danish rule, decades of Swedish rule and a few years under the German boot, this is not difficult to understand. In the world today it would probably just be the Brits, the Spanish, the Germans and the Russians that doesn't feel this way. <BR/>
So the Norwegians have been weary about joining anything which isn't just Norway, or equaly independant and solitary. Or just totally dominated by Norwegians. For instance do they mostly compete in sporting events which includes some kinds of skies attached to the feet, most international politics reported is where the name 'Oslo', the words 'Norwegian diplomats' or 'earlier occupied by Norwegian vikings' are included, and for them the European Song Contest does actually mean something. (As in Sweden and Ireland)<BR/>On the other hand Norwegians are sceptical to immigrants, although a great deal shop for wives in Thailand or Russia, they only speak other languages if they know them better than the average European and Norwegian cooking is still about potatoes, carrots and small cakes made from fish that noone seems to enjoy before they have kids and tell them how healthy and tastefull they really are once you get to know them.<BR/>
Furthermore, Norwegians have a Royal family that never seems to f**k up at all, and thus stands small chances of getting beheaded or hunted around the countryside with dogs and men on horses. However they don't seem to do much other than sail and watch men jump with skies attached to their feet anyway.<BR/>
Up North, where the snow is and the sun never shows at winter because it overstayed its welcome in summer, Norway have a bunch of Natives. They are mainly looking out for their hurds of raindeer, and occationally competing with lassos and raindeers for the National press to see, while they sing songs that presumably is about the 'good, old days' when they were competing with lassos and raindeers, while singing songs about the 'even better, and still a bit older days'. Only the last years people have started to accept their rights of having an own tradition, their own language and certain areas where they can keep their deers. This might, or might not, be because everyone were to busy feeling sorry for the Indians, the Aborigines and every other Natives in the world to notice that they had some of their own.<BR/>
Norwegians go on holiday to Denmark, to get drunk cheap, to the Greek Islands, to get drunk cheap, and recently, to Eastern Asia, to get drunk cheap and a tan while their at it. They doesn't like travel to much though, and a great deal take pride in never having been on a plane yet. Then again, a whole lot of pilots hope they never have to land in Norway because there is often a whole lot of snow and ice on the runway, and the people there doesn't enjoing travel that much anyway.</p><BR/>There really is a great deal more to tell about Norway, but that is often better told by Norwegians who are drunk for instance in Denmark, on Rhodes or on a beach that used to be deserted but which are now totally crowded, somewhere in Thailand or Malaysia.
