After last week's worldwide strike of the "I LOVE YOU VIRUS," reports are already coming in that the virus is mutating into several stages. Within the next few hours, expect to see:

The original "I love you" virus

The "I like you alot" virus

The "You're nice, but I just want to be friends" virus

The "Look, it was just a date...don't get clingy" virus

The "Okay, I think its best if we don't have anymore contact" virus

The "It was late, I was drunk, you were easy" virus

The "Stop calling me, you unfeeling p***k" virus

The "That's it, I hate you and your stupid dog" virus and finally,

The "You have made an enemy today, prepare to be boarded" virus