What to do if you find yourself lying flat on the floor with a rifle pointed at the back of your head
Created | Updated Apr 18, 2002
First, make sure that it is actually a rifle pointed at the back of your head rather than some sort of elongated hard vegetable. On the off chance that it is sort of elongated hard vegetable, say a turnip, stand up, smile, say a choice phrase (Hohoho would do), and hope you haven't made the fatal error of thinking a Marks '72 rifle was sort of elongated hard vegetable if so, either apologise politely and/or die as proudly as you can. If you actually do if you find yourself lying flat on the floor with a rifle pointed at the back... and so on, consider life, the universe and everything, flowers, trees, biscuits chocolates and the such. Although this will not help in the slightest, it may prepare you for the impending doom ahead. If it doesn't, you could seek psychiatric counselling, or help from a therapy group on the off chance that the assilant allows you to leave.
